Fanfiction May Cry
by Ranger24
Summary: Ranger24 is the mysterious handy man who does only special jobs... But when some old friends start popping up things might get a little hairy. Based off of the anime series of Devil May Cry. Read and Review. Completed and working on sequel!
1. Prolouge: Death Bar

**Ranger24: Time for another new story.**

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Prolouge: Death bar.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

**Ranger24 Studios Presents...**

Fanfiction cities hundreds of lights glittered in the night but a midst all the light of street lamps and shop signs there was darkness. Evil lurked in the darkest corners of the city. In an alley way wreathed in shadow a young man wearing dark green cloak made his was past a street sign, a single moth fluttered about it. The man had dark brown hair, brown eyes, and was atleast six and a half feet tall.

**Without the cooperation of Capcom.**

He made his way down a flight of steps to a door. A bell chimed as he entered the pub and sat down at the bar there were only four others in the room. Three were playing poker, the other was the bartender who had his back turned to the green cloaked man.

"What'll it be?" He asked not even looking at the stranger.

**For the first time ever on **

"Chocolate Sunday." Came the reply. The bartender gave a snort of laughter and turn to the new comer arms out stretched in a shrug.

"This is a bar man. No place for kid stuff."

The new comer smiled.

"I know. I was just trying to sweeten up the air in here. Smells like shit." His brown eyes darkened. "Or maybe, blood."

**Based on the hit Anime series**

The bartender turned around and continued wiping his glass.

"But that's fine with me." The stranger continued hands clasped, eyes down cast. "Cause what I'm interested in is this rumor I heard. They say that somewhere around here there's a bar. More like a dive really. A place there they'll take someone's life instead of money." He smirked. "Kinda scary."

One of the poker players pulled his cigarette out of his mouth. "Sorry, forgive me pal."

"Royal straight flush is it?" The new comer said without looking at the poker players. "Playing a hand like that could kill a guy."

The poker player set his cards on the table and stood up. Indeed it was a royal flush. "How about I by you a round." He said turning around only to find a pistol in the hands of the newcomer pointed at him!

With one shot the man was sent flying back, blood spraying from the space between his eyes!

Suddenly his body convulsed and a strange black creature, red eyes, and fangs ripped its self out of his skin! It roared as the moth fluttered by! It dove at the new comer who rolled to the ground a smirk on his face! He rolled to his feet as the other two poker players also transformed into similar creatures and lunged at him!

**Fanfiction May Cry.**

The new comer yanked out a smaller pistol, spun it in the air, caught it, and shot both of them in the head! He then shot them with both guns in the chest for good measure blood spraying everywhere as the creatures fell dead!

The first creature however lunged at him and a fixed its jaws around the green cloaked man's right arm! The pistol in his left clattered to the ground! The monster hissed in anger as it tried to ripe the man's arm off! The young man stared at him impassive.

"Not bad. Mister Royal flush." He held out his hands and a large sword with a sickle moon for a pommel, a slight curve to the point, and one of the hilt gaurds curved crashed through the window and landed in his hand! The man spun the sword around and thrust it into the monsters head severing the monsters neck, blood spraying everywhere! The monster fell dead, headless.

The man stood there for a moment wiping his swords blade on the bar before heading up the stairs to the door. When he reached it he came to a halt as the moth landed on the door. He reached for the hilt of his sword and shoved it through the moth and the door! Blood ozzed through the door as the bartender fell through the glass window in the door. The man yanked the sword out, opened the door and let the body fall to the floor, before stepping out into the night.

"Next time you open up shop, don't forget the chocolate sundea's." He said as if he didn't care about what had just happened. At that the bar tender's body shuddered and out burst another one of the monsters! The man whirled around a smirk on his face as he raised his pistols.

"Bingo."

He fired unleashing both rounds into the monsters body killing it. He sighed and made his way down the street towards his shop, Fanfiction May Cry.

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**Ranger24: Second story I've written none script for. Still getting used to it but I hope everyone likes it. Read and review.**


	2. Chapter 1: Fanfiction May Cry part 1

**Ranger24: Here is chapter two! Please note that even though this story isn't written in my usual fashion that I did write this and it is roughly based on an awesome show. Thank you. You may also have noted that the sword I'm using isn't the the same one I use in most other fics. This will be explained in full by the end of Demon from Heaven.  
**

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Chapter 1: Fanfiction May Cry part 1.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

In one of the less prosperous districts of Fanfiction city was a shop. Bright green neon letters over the door proclaimed the shop as Fanfiction May cry. Inside the shop had a high ceiling with only one fan spining repeatedly above the hard wood floors. If one scrutinized the floor they'd see specs of old dry blood. The shop had seen more than a few scuffles.

In the corner was a jukebox upgraded to play CD's instead of records. Next to that was an over crowded book shelf. At one end of the room was a desk with a high backed wooden chair. The desk was cluttered with old pizza boxes, papers, a single lamp, a phone, and a framed photo of a woman with blonde hair. She had sharp green eyes and some of her hair stuck out like two yellow antenna's.

A young girl with tanned skin, black hair, and dark eyes wearing a red flowered hawian style dress and a new york newsie style hat scrutinized the photo while a man in a counter terrorist uniform sat down on one of the couches in the room waiting for the owner to get the heck off the phone and pay attention to them. Standing next to the girl was what looked like a blue Koala with big ears and eyes. The creature was currently sniffing one of the empty pizza boxes.

The owner of the place was none other than Ranger24, the famous mercenary. He had his feet up on his desk, which was a feet in itself due to the amount of clutter present. His dark green Cloak and custom weapons holster were drapped over a chair near a pool table. Ranger himself was currently wearing a green shirt with long dark green pants.

"Yeah I'd like to order a Pizza... Look I'll pay off my tab when I have the money... No I don't have the money to do so right now... Look let me just give you my damn order... Hey no need to get angery man!" He said trying to get through to ordering his meal. The man in the counter terrorist unifrom sighed as the little girl walked over to him.

"Is he always like this?" She asked.

The man sighed.

"Yep every god damn time." He said tossing a crowbar into the air and then catching it.

"Right, one large pizza, extra pepperoni, stuffed crust, Chicago style." Ranger said. The little girl shook her head in annoyance.

"Right you know the place... Bye." Ranger tossed the phone back onto its rest were it landed with a clang. The counter terroist stood up to speak but Ranger cut him off quickly. "Look TSS I know I'm in deep right now but seriously! Giving me a baby sitting job?"

"Hey!" The little girl shouted offended.

The man in the counter terrorist outfit, The Shadow Syndicate Ranger's friend and manager, sighed.

"Look Ranger you're the only one I can trust with this job because I'm tied up as it is with the crazy preist and emo hedgehog. That girl there is important."

"Really?" Ranger said sarcastically. He glanced over to her.

"Sorry sweety but if you're looking for a date you should probably wait another ten years then we'll talk," he said with a smirk. She glared at him. "I'd dump you in under a second."

"Ouch, turned down by a ten year old." He said with a roll of his eyes. The Shadow Syndicate took the momentary silence to finally speak his mind.

"Look Ranger, this girl is the direct heir to Pleklie family fortune. Her name's Lilo. The job is to get her to the Pleklie estate within forty eight hours or she doesn't inherit her millions."

"I'm not doing it." Ranger said flatly. He stood up and made his way over to the pool table. "Now if you don't mind I have a Pizza on the way and..."

"There's no Pizza on the way Ranger." TSS said a little annoyed with his friend. Ranger stopped in his tracks then turned around a confused look on his face.

"What?" He said looking taken aback. TSS muttered a curse.

"I told them to stop delivering Pizza's to your shop until you pay off your tab in full!" TSS said standing up.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me! Where am I supposed to get that kinda money?" Ranger shouted.

"How much do you owe them?" Lilo asked curious. Ranger slumped down in an arm chair and rested his face in his hands. "Just short of one grand." Lilo winced. The counter terrorist smirked.

"Tell you what, we'll make a bet." He said pulling out a coin. Ranger groaned.

"Oh here we go."

"If this coin lands on heads, I'll pay you're tab in full. If it's tails then you do the job with no complaints." TSS said simply. Ranger sighed.

One minute later Ranger stalked out of his shop, cloak on his shoulders, with Lilo and the Koala thing in tow.

"You're not a very good gambler are you?" Lilo observed. Ranger muttered a curse under his breath half wanting to put his hood up just to show his displeasure but it was to hot for that sort of thing.

"Ranger!"

Ranger glanced over his shoulder as TSS tossed him what appeared to be a black guitar case.

"You might have to give a live preformance." TSS said growing serious. Ranger nodded understanding. "Good luck." The counter Terrorist said gruffly.

As soon as the door closed The Shadow Syndicate smirked.

"Sucker, now I get that Pizza."

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

About half an hour later Ranger, Lilo, a her "Dog" Stitch were all in a dark green Ford mustang heading up the highway. The car wasn't in the best of shape and had more than a few peices of trash lying around. Ranger had put the guitar case in the back seat. Lilo glanced at it.

"I could come to your show if you want?" Lilo said trying to make conversation. Ranger smiled glancing at the case.

"Sorry my shows are for adults only." He said simply.

"Is your girlfriend going to be there?" She asked. Ranger frowned.

"Girlfriend?"

"The lady in that picture on your desk... Is she coming to your show?" She asked. Ranger didn't respond. Lilo frowned.

"Well you can't take her in this peice of junk. It's smelly, messy, and I think one of the head lights got with a baseball bat." She said. "It did," Ranger admitted noting the busted headlight. "You should know that it doesn't matter where you take a girl, its how you get there." She continued as they began to get closer to a sluggish truck. Ranger sighed completly annoyed with the little girl.

Then suddenly he sat up, eyes sharp and alert. On the side of the truck was something black.

'Ranger,' a malevolent voice in his head spoke. 'The girls life is mine!'

Ranger suddenly pulled down Lilo's hat over her eyes, making her shout in suprise as Ranger yanked out one of his pistols and took aim at the black spot! He fired one shot and something fell to the ground spewing blood! He swerved to the right to aviod hitting the truck as Lilo pulled her hat off.

"What the heck is wrong with you?" She shouted as Stitch nodded in agreement.

"He crazy." The blue "dog" said.

Ranger glanced over his shoulder at the body now lying on the road in a pool of it's own gore. A heartless, no doubt about it. But what did they want with Lilo?

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

"Your joking!" Shouted an angry voice! The speaker was a man with black hair tied up in a small pony tail at the back of his head. With him in the room were two other men. One had white hair and pale skin, the other had jet black hair and red eyes. They were Zhao, Gin, and Chase Plekali brothers of the late Jonas Plekali.

They all had been hoping to get a peice of Jonas's wealth when they had received a letter from someone claiming to be the daughter of their dead brother.

"What do we do now?" Zhao shouted angrily slamming his fist on the table.

Gin, the only lawyer of the three sighed. "Do not worry brother, all we must do is make sure that this so called daughter of our dear brother never makes it to the manison by six o'clock tomorrow."

Zhao snarled. "I doubt those creatures we sent to kill her will do much good. One of them has already ended up dead."

"Oh do try to relax Zhao," Chase said staring at a large oil panting that covered a whole wall in the room. "There is no way she can survive, not against all that is against her."

Zhao sighed, "Why is it you're always staring at that damn painting?"

Chase smirked: "I guess I feel a tad bit more relaxed when I look at it. When we divide up the inheritance, I think I'll take the art work."

Zhao snorted with laughter. "I'll just take the cash then."

"Come now brothers, how about we discuss this after the house is ours." Gin said a smirk on his face.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

The sun was starting to go down as Ranger, Lilo, and Stitch sat in an almost empty train car. The only other people in the car were an old man, a couple, and a guy in a bussiness suit. Lilo pulled out a small golden locket and flicked it open a sad look on her face while Ranger lay on the seats in front of her, though he didn't quite fit.

"Whats that? A picture of your boy friend?" Ranger said not even looking at Lilo. The young girl scowled. "No its my mother you jerk! And she's a lot prettier than you're girl friend!" She snapped at him before looking back down at the picture.

"She died when I was little. The doctors told me that at the hospital when I was born." She said sadly.

"Excuse me." Lilo looked up at the man in the bussiness suit standing in the aisle. He motioned to the empty seat next to Lilo.

"May I sit?"

Lilo smiled. "Of course."

"Can't garuntee your survival there though." Ranger warned. Lilo scowled at him as Stitch sniffed the air.

"Why the heck would you say something like that!" She shouted as they went into a tunnel and things went black. When they exited the tunnel she continued. "It's not like sitting next to me is going to..."

Suddenly the man slumped to the floor, blood pooling from a large hole in his chest. Lilo gasped in horror, eyes growing wide. Ranger shook his head.

"I warned him."

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**Ranger24: Who is targeting Lilo? Who tried to kill her, missed, and killed that poor guy? Can I stop the carnage before anyone else gets hurt? Find out next time read and review!**

**Also TSS I would like to know what the sword of the seven holies looks like. It would be of some help.**


	3. Chapter 2: Fanfiction May Cry part 2

**Ranger24: Here's part two of the first adventure.**

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Chapter 2: Fanfiction May Cry Part 2.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Everyone who had been in the train car stood gathered around the dead body while Lilo sat down in the row of seats behind the body so she didn't have to look at it. Ranger was still in his same spot looking bored as ever. Stitch sniffed the body.

"He dead," the "dog" said simply.

Suddenly the conductor entered.

"What the hell happened here?" He demanded a terrifeid look on his face. Ranger sighed.

"I can clear that up for you sir." He opened his eyes and sat up. "There were six people in this car at the time we went through that tunnel back there and everything went black. That counts the dead guy of course. So that leaves us with just the two love birds, the old geezer, myself, the girl, and the girls funny blue dog. First there's the couple..."

The two love birds started to look scared.

"They didn't do it, they were to busy having fun back there." The love birds scowled at him. The woman actually kicked him in the shin.

"Hey!" He said rubbing his bruised shin. "Next there's the old man. He didn't do it. The little girl wouldn't hurt a fly."

"But that just leaves you!" THe conducter said and everyone took a step away from him. Ranger interlacedd his fingers. "Who says the person who killed this man was even a person?" Lilo looked up to see some kind of creature at the window!

Then suddenly the train went through another tunnel! There rang out two gunshots before the train exited the tunnel. Coiled around the car was a dead monster. In the car Ranger spun his pistol up to his face and blew the smoke from the barrel.

"Case closed."

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

When the train pulled in at the station that Ranger, Lilo, and Stitch had been going to it was night. They walked away from the station while police cars surrounded the place. Lilo was silent as they made their way into the town.

"That thing on the train. It was a heartless wasn't it?" She said quietly. Ranger shrugged.

"Most likely."

Lilo gulped. "The thing is my mother didn't die when I was born the Doctor's said she was being hunted by heartless! Am I going to be killed by a heartless?"

"Who knows?" Ranger said simply. Lilo gulped and Stitch went closer to her.

"Megaa going to protect you."

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

As it drew closer to midnight they stopped at a local motel. The man behind the counter was short, balding, and had big lamp like eyes. Ranger set a few bills of cash on the table.

"I need a room for two. One child, one adult, and one pet. Cheapest you've got, we're leaving in the morning."

The thing behind the desk smiled showing several missing teeth.

"One room coming up."

Ranger glanced over his shoulder at Lilo who was staring at a poster for an opera singer.

"Hey kid eyes sharp." He said as the thing behind the desk handed him the room key.

"Sir," Lilo said still not moving. "Where can I see this woman?"

Ranger didn't like where this was going and quickly dragged Lilo and Stitch up to their room. When they got there Ranger pulled off his cloak and hung it on the door before flopping down on the couch which was to small. Lilo and Stitch sat down no the only bed in the room. Lilo stared at her hands.

"The woman in that poster, she looked just like my mother." She whispered. Stitch gave a moan and curlled up beside her. "She might still be alive." Lilo continued. Ranger sighed.

"Oh like you know anything about family or friends!" Lilo snapped at him! Then she crossed her arms and stared at the floor.

"I don't care about this stupid inheritance thing, I'll I want to do is help the kids back at the orphanage. You know buy them what the need." She frowned. "But I can't buy them what they really want. You can't buy yourself a family. You probably think I sound stupid but all we want is to be with your families!"

"That's understandable." Ranger said simply. Lilo glanced up in suprise as her body guard had remained silent since they entered the room. His eyes were shut and she thought he was asleep. He opened one and looked at her. "Anyone would want to be with their friends and families." He finished. Lilo smiled.

"Now if you don't mind I've got like three chicks to meet in Z land." He said closing his eyes. "Ditto," Stitch said.

Suddenly a small pinkish purple creature leapt through the window and onto the window sill!

BANG!

The Ditto fell out the window dead. Ranger muttered a curse holstering his pistol. "Get some rest kid." Lilo nodded.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Back at the mansion Zhao and Gin were playing chess while Chase continued to stare at the painting. Gin moved his knight. "Checkmate," He said simply and Zhao cursed furiously. Chase laughed. "You never were good at the end of things brother, thats why you girl freind dumped you."

"Oh go shove that in a toleit," Zhao snapped back. Gin smirked evily.

"I'm pretty sure our friends are about to take care of the girl pretty soon here." Zhao laughed at this.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Back at the hotel it was past midnight and all three of our heroes were asleep. Lilo's hat was hung on the bed post, Stitch was curled up next to her, and Ranger was lying on the couch with an arm around a pillow his face in a scowl.

"No seriously... I paid my tab last week... Would you owls stop trying to sell me your encylopedia's... I can't read you langauge I can only speak it." He said in his very confusing sleep.

Suddenly faint singing drifted in through the window and Lilo opened her eyes.

Thirty seconds Later Ranger groaned as Stitch shook him awake.

"Oh come on kid please tell me you don't need a bed time story..."

"Lilo!" Stitch said quickly shaking the couch causing Ranger to fall on the blue experiment. "Sorry about that," he muttered pushing himself off of Stitch. Then he realized why Stitch had awakened him! Lilo was gone!

He grabbed his cloak and the guitar case and ran down the stairs to the lobby Stitch on his heels. He ran to the front desk where the thing was still sitting.

"Where's my daughter?" Ranger said angrily, it wasn't true but it was a cover. The creature gave a bemused smile.

"What girl?" It said in its creaky voice before coughing loudly. Stitch growled at the opera poster and Ranger yanked out his M6C and unloaded half a clip into the poster which morphed into a massive dead moth. Ranger muttered a curse when he felt a pistol being shoved into his back. He glanced over his shoulder to see the creature holding a revovler.

"Preacious can't let him see her, no preacious." It whispered evily. In a second Ranger grabbed it by the wrist, flung it over the desk, and pinned it to the ground the pistol clattering away!

"Where is she?" He growled.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Five minutes later the three of them were in a beat up car Ranger with his guns pointed at the creature introduced now as Gollum who was driving, and crashing into every mail box, street lamp, and fire hydrant insight.

"Who taught you how to dirve?" Ranger muttered as they mounted the pavement. Gollum smirked evily while Stitch growled at him.

"He should know that the realm of Darkness is divided now. Three powerfull darkmen claim the lordship of the black realm, my preacious." Gollum said.

"And what does that have to do with any of this?" Ranger said frowning. Gollum chackled and coughed in his usaul manner.

**F****MCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

At an opera house on the far end of town Lilo pushed her way in through the door transfixed by the music. She entered the main theater where a single spotlight shone down on what looked like a woman in a white dress singing opera. Lilo smiled with joy.

"Mom!" She shouted as she ran down the steps to the stage not noticing a spot light shining down on her. "Mom! Mom!" She kept shouting as she ran onto the stage and through he arms around the woman.

"I'm so happy to see you," she whispered tears rolling down her face.

"I am to Lilo dear." The woman said smiling. Lilo looked up but then saw the hideous face! It was gaunt, the sking stretched over the skull, no hair visible not even eye lashes, worst of all were the fangs that currled down out of her mouth. Lilo tried to take a step back but she was held in place by the creatures hands! More monsters, a mix of heartless and lesser darksides emerged from the shadows, fangs dripping silavia!

"BUT NOW IT IS TIME TO DIE SWEETY!" The monster shouted raising a claw like hand!

BANG! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!!

Blood sprayed from the creature as it fell back, seveal heartless exploded, and a set background fell between Lilo and the monsters! Lilo blinked in confusion.

"You really shouldn't run off like that kid." Said a familar voice from behind Lilo. She whirled around to see Ranger making his way down the stairs pistols in hand while Stitch single handedly provided Spanish influenced background music.

"Ranger!" Lilo shouted with joy.

Suddenly the creature posing as her mother roared and tried to ripe through the set but Ranger shot a single bullet at it then leapt onto the stage as another set dropped down between himself and Lilo.

"Sorry kid this is the adults only part." Ranger said. Lilo could see the shadows of everyone behind the background. She watched in shock as Ranger single handedly went toe to toe with all of the creatures! Every few seconds a shot would ring out and one of the creatures would fall dead!

Suddenly something set it's hand on Lilo's neck! She gasped realizing Gollum had his hands around her neck!

"We're sorry preacious, but master says to kill little girl so we does!"

BANG!!

A bullet narrowly missed hitting Gollum in the head! He turned in fear to stare at the background set. A single hole was visible through which one of Ranger's brown eyes blazed with anger.

"Touch her, and the next one goes through your head for real." He said coldly.

Gollum instantly compleid releasing Lilo and taking a step back.

"Now get the hell out of here." Ranger said as coldly as before.

The wretch didn't need telling twice! He ran up the steps on all fours and into the darkness! Lilo looked at the floor to see a large pool of blood begin to seap out from underneath the background. Ranger ripped his way out of the set, completly unscathed.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

The next day it was nearing sun down at the mansion. The three brothers watched the clock as it ticked down to the thankfull six o'clock dead line. Zhao laughed.

"Ha the house is ours!"

Suddenly the door opened and in entered woman that appeared to be a much older version of Lilo.

"Hi I'm Nani. I'm here for my inheritance." She said simply. Zhao and Chase blinked in suprise.

"I thought it was supposed to be a little girl?" Chase said confused. Nani smiled. "The girl you guys tried to whack? She was just some girl who had the same last name and looks just like a younger me. I needed some one to cover my back and draw your attention."

Gin smirked. "Well I'm afraid it doesn't matter miss Plekila, you lost your inheritence at the six o'clock dead line."

Nani smirked. "You're wrong again. The death certificate on my father states time of death as six thrity-two seven days ago. I'm here with exactly thrity-one minutes to spare."

Zhao swore explosivly! Chase groaned andput his face in his hands.

"Will a drivers licesne cover it for ID?" Nani contiuned pulling up her purse.

Gin suddenly laughed.

"That won't be nesscary miss. Because in a few seconds no one will know you every existed!" Suddenly his skin ripped apart and morphed into a terrifying jet black monster with feirce red eyes and spikey fur! Zhao and Chase backed away in shock and fear!

"Brother!" They both said at the same time.

"It's all mine!" The monster shouted lundgeing at Nani! Who took a step towards the door, when it opened.

BANG!!

The creature was thrown back by a sudden gunshot to the face! It roared in pain and anger blood spraying onto the painting Chase loved so much!

"You know your lucky I'm here to save your ass." Ranger said stepping into the room hefting the guitar case. Lilo and Stitch stood in the door watching in awe as Ranger set the case down. Nani blinked in suprise.

"You use a ten year old as a decoy to help you get a few million dollars. Your just lucky I'm in such a good mood." Ranger said as the creature regained it's footing and turned to face him with a roar! Ranger smirked.

"It's Show time!" He shouted unzipping the guitar case, flinging it aside to reveal the same sword from two chapters ago! The monster roared and swung a massive claw at him which he dove out forward to dodge! He rolled to his feet and slashed the creature across the chest letting blood spray all over the floor! He dodged it's counter then slashed it across the arm! More blood sprayed across the couches and other furniture!

He then leapt into the air and brought the sword down in an arc across the monster's neck! He landed in a crouched position as the creature moaned and it's head slide of and landed on the hard wood floor. A fountian of gore sprayed from the severed torso and coated the cealing a dark red while blood drentched the floor.

Ranger wiped his sword on the creatures hide before returning it to its case. He then turned to Nani his expression cold.

"Have you a heart?" He said before he brushed past the still stunned woman. He made his way out into the hall where Lilo and Stitch stood wide eyed.

"We saw the whole thing! Even the adults only part!" Lilo said in excitment. Ranger smiled.

"You were all like Bam! Bam! Slice!" Lilo said acting out the fight with her hat. "And it was all like UGH... That was amazing!"

"Thanks." Ranger muttered.

"Wait!"

Ranger turned on his heel to see Nani standing there in the door.

"Let me take care of the girl. It's the least I can do!"

Ranger frowned.

"Well thats all up to Lilo. Now if you don't mind I'm out of here." He turned around and left. Lilo turned to face him as he walked out the door.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Ranger opened the door to his shop.

"Home sweet home." He muttered stepping through the door. Then he realized what he was looking at. His eyes grew wide.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY SHOP!!" He shouted in horror! Everything was covered in hawian stuff, someone had even changed the draps to be like holua skirts. Then he suddenly realized someone was laughing.

Sitting on the couch were The Shadow Syndicate, Lilo, and Stitch. Ranger glared at them all.

"What did you guys do! And what are they doing here?" Ranger shouted in a mix of anger and confusion. TSS smirked.

"Seems Lilo decided she want's to stay with you Ranger."

"No way." Ranger said shaking his head.

"To damn late man, you're her officail gurdian now." TSS said holding up a small pile of papers. Ranger scowled.

"But don't I have to sign something? And how did she get here first?"

"Helicopter," Lilo and Stitch said grining from ear to ear. TSS couldn't keep from showing one of his vampire fangs. "Sorry man but the paper works all filled out. All thats left is for you to sign you're name."

"Well I'm not doing it!" Ranger shouted back at them trying to make his way over to his desk now covered in Tikki heads.

"Oh your doing it." TSS shot back.

"Or else what?" Ranger said throwing himself onto his chair.

"Or I take all the money you got from the job... In fact you won't get it until you sign the papers." TSS said.

Ranger groaned. "Okay fine! Give me the damn papers." TSS brought the papers over while Ranger dug in his desk for a pen. "One question first, why did you guys redecorate my office?"

"It was musty before, now people will be coming in by the droves!" Lilo said happily.

Ranger muttered a curse before signing the papers in his right name. TSS put them in a breif case before handing Ranger over a second breifcase. Ranger smiled.

"Bout damn time." Ranger muttered opening the case before doing a double take. It had only a single roll of twenty twenties inside.

"What happened to the rest of my money?!" Ranger shouted. TSS smirked pulling out a calculator and began to crunch the numbers.

"Well most of it went to paying off me, the Pizza place, the rent, you're nearly a week over due taxes, your car payment, the cable, and the rest of it went to redecorating this place." TSS said simply tossing the calcuator in the trash. Ranger slumped his head onto his desk.

"At least I have my choclate Sunday," he muttered. He got to his feet and made his way to the second floor where there was small kitchen. He opened the fridge and...

"Okay! Who the hell ate my choclate sunday!" He shouted! Stitch quickly licked his lips clean of choclate.

* * *

**Ranger24: Oh my god. What have I gotten myself into? Read and review.**


	4. Chapter 3: Highway star part 1

**Ranger24: Sorry for the wait, I've been rather busy lately.**

* * *

Chapter 3: Highway star: part 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It was close to mid night but the dark was not quite. Three motorcycles roared past their rides in black jackets. The leader gave a holler of joy at the sheer speed he was moving at. What none of them new was that they were being watched. In the distance four men in suits watched with binoclers as the bikers roared onto a large bridge.

Suddenly one gave a cry as he lost control of his bike and hit down hard. The one now in the back glanced to his comerade then to the leader.

"Hey bro I think we should slow down a little!" He shouted over the roar of the wind and thunder of their engines. The lead biker gave a snort.

"If you want to slow down, be my guest. I'm not slowing down! Not when the winds this good!" He shouted back before shooting ahead quickly passing one twenty. He grinned.

"Now this is what I'm talking about!"

Suddenly a red light entered the corner of his eye. He glanced over his shoulder to see another bike go shooting past with a red head light. He gritted his teeth.

"Oh so you want to go! Then bring it on!" He gunned the engines roaring after it. But slowly as he began to get closer he felt a sense of dread and then…

There was a scream and he was gone.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

The next night it was raining thick and hard in fanfiction city. A young man ran under an awning to find shelter from the storm. Already standing under there was some one wearing a white rain coat. It was clearly a woman but her hood concealed her face.

The young man smiled at her.

"Waiting for someone?" He asked. She nodded.

"Your boy friend?" She shook her head. The young man's eyes glinted.

"Well how 'bout I take you to dinner, my treat?" She considered it for a moment before nodding and the stepping out into the rain.

"Hey wait up!" The young man shouted running after her.

She lead him down towards one of the less populated area's of town. To his surprise she lead him right into a run down ware house.

"Okay what the hell are we doing her." He asked. The woman made her way into the middle of the ware house floor. Then finally she spoke in a calm voice. "You should know." The young man blinked in surprise.

"Over the past two months," the young woman continued slowly removing her rain coat. "There has been a rise in disappearances of young weman. All of them had two things in common." She cast of the wet rain coat revealing raven hair done up in a pony tail. Her brown eyes flashed as there came a crackle of thunder. She was wearing a simple black shirt and blue jeans.

"First all of them were asked out to diner by a young man, who happens to match your description. The second was that each of them was brought to this ware house." She made her way over to a sealed door and opened it. Out poured a large number of human skulls. "Where they were killed."

She turned around to face the young man whose skin suddenly began to contort before it burst apart! Out of the febble shell rose a black shape with thick leathery skin a teeth like pathing stones! The monster roared as it moved in on it's prey!

"And you are my next meal!" It shouted lungeding forward! At that moment the you woman drew out a forty five and an SMG! She turned her guns on the monster and opened fire! It howled in agony as bullets opened minature holes all over its skin! Blood sprayed everywhere as she continued shooting!

It swung a mighty fist at her trying to crush her into the dirt but she dove out of the way and behind a crate! In three seconds she ejected her empty clips and slapped in fresh ones before continuing her attack! The monster roared in pain grabbing at an industrial chain near by and swinging it at her! She rolled under it still firing! The chain wrapped around a support beam and stuck there! The monster tried to get his weapon free but by that time the young woman had leapt onto some crates and then leapt at the monster! She fired her weapons into its eyes which sprayed blood!

The monster moaned in pain falling to it's hands and knees, not noticing a pinless grenade go flying down it's throat. There was a blast and the monster fell dead. The young woman landed softly ejected her empty clips and replacing them once again. She walked over to it's corpse which was now pooling blood. "Sleep tight." She muttered.

Then she heard clapping. She turned around to see four men in business suits, one was clapping softly. "Impressive show," he said stepping forward. The young woman frowned. "Who are you and what do you want?" She said quickly not holstiering her weapons. "We are in need of your assistance." The man replied.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

The next morning puddles were scattered all about Fanfiction May Cry. Ranger sat at his desk eating a slice of pizza while Lilo was sweeping the floor. Stitch was snoring loudly on a couch. Ranger flicked over another page of his magazine while Lilo gave a sigh frowning at the still closed door. She had been living with Ranger for a whole week now and nothing had happened. Ranger hadn't gotten any new jobs in all of that time.

"I don't get it the place looks nice." She said voicing her concerns, Ranger smirked.

"The job I do is the removale of the super natural and those things that threaten the calm around here. A hawiian theme really dosen't fit." Ranger replied. Lilo glared at him. "Hey this place was a dump before me and Stitch got here."

"Yes it's a vast improvement," Ranger said with a roll of his eyes. At that moment the door creaked open and Lilo's eyes brightened.

"A customer!" She shouted in delight. She rushed to the door. "Hello."

"Well Ranger, you certainly have odd tastes." The same young woman from before said stepping over the threshold. Lilo smiled warmly. "I like it better the way it was." The woman said while Lilo fell over anime style..

Ranger sighed setting down his slice of pizza. "What do you want Ace?"

The woman, Ace frowned. "What makes you think I want something?" Ranger gave a hollow laugh. "Please, whenever you stop by its for one of two reasons. Either you want my money, which I haven't got and I wouldn't give you if I did. Or you have got a job for me, and it's normally one of the really shittie ones that don't pay well."

Ace smiled. "Same as always. I have a job I need some help with."

"My answer is no." Ranger said flatly.

Ace wandered her way over to the pool table and picked up one of the cue sticks.

"Tell you what, we'll make a beat." She leaned her self up on the white ball. If one looked closely they could see a small indentation and crack in it where some had probably shot it, with a gun. "if I get the nothing but the eight ball in the corner pocket in one shot you'll do the job I have for you. But if I don't I'll forget all that money you owe me."

Ranger smirked. "Throw in that you have to buy me dinner and you've got a deal." Ace nodded and then struck the white ball with a crack. It shot towards the other balls and with resonding cracks it sent them every which way. Lilo watched in amazment as the one ball hit the eight ball right into the corner pocket. Ranger sighed and set down his pizza. "Shit," he muttered while Lilo jumped in excitement.

"Thatwas amazing," She shouted while Ranger got to his feet, fasten his sword to his belt and a slipped on his custom weapons holister. Then with a flourish he fastened on his cloak. Ace smiled and they made their way to the door.

"Lilo," Ranger shot over his shoulder. "Get this place back to normal or I'll roast your Elvis records."

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

"You're kidding," Ranger said as he stared at the run down gas station where a large crowd of bikers were gathered. Several seat off fire chrackers and fountains as the booze and metal flowed inn an endless party. Ace smirked.

"The highway patrol wants them gone and out of here." Ranger shook his head. "Sorry but killing monsters is more my thing." Then Ace pointed at the insignia on the back of one biker's jacket. It proclaimed _The road devils_ in red letters. Ranger groaned. "You know sometimes I really hate you. Besides, reasoning with drunks is harder than it looks." Ace frowned, "That made abosultely no sense at all but just watch." Then she walked over to one biker.

"Hey whose you're leader?" She demanded, the biker glared at her. "Who wants to know little lady?" Ace didn't budge. "Highway patrol wants you guys gone, now."

The a voice spoke. "We're no leaving." Ranger and Ace turned to face the speaker, a young man with mess black hair wearing a yellow vest over a blue stripped shirt. "I'm the leader of this group now and were not leaving. Not until I get payback." Ace frowned. "Payback on who?" The young man's eyes grew dark. "The red eye, he killed my brother two nights ago."

"Seeking revenge is foolish." Ranger said speaking for the first time in all of this. The leader glared at him. "If he killed your brother he could probably kill you too, just move on with your life for gods sake." The leader took a step forward flicking out a switch blade! "You want to go man?"

Ace suddenly steped between them. "How about you race him?" She suggested. "You win we leave, and don't come back. You lose, you guys back your bags and leave." Then she took a step closer to him. "It might draw him out."

The leader considered it for a moment then nodded. "You're on."

* * *

**Ranger24: And that's the chapter. What the heck have I gotten myself into? Read and review.**


	5. Chapter 4: Highway star part 2

Chapter 4: Highway star part 2.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It was close to sun down and Ranger had borrowed a bike for the race. In the lane next to him was the gang Leader Mokuba Kiaba. Ace handed Ranger a helmet but Ranger pushed it back to her. She frowned and he smiled. "Thanks but I don't really need it."

Ace shrugged. "It's your neck."

At that Mokuba threw off his helmet as well.

"I don't need it either!" He shouted.

Ranger then to Ace's surprise handed her his sword still in it's sheath.

"Don't lose it." He warned. She nodded and swung the sheathed sword over her shoulder then held up her arm. Ranger reveed up the bikes engine letting it purr then roar with the force and power of the engine. Mokuba reveed up his bike as well glaring at Ranger who just gazed towards the road ahead of them not noticing.

Then Ace brought her hand down and the race was on! Ranger and Mokuba shot down the road dust whirling behind them. Ace stood and watched for a moment before heading off. She had to get ready for when "It" would show up.

Back with the racers Mokuba and Ranger fought for the lead. One minute Mokuba would be ahead then Ranger would shoot out ahead of him. Mokuba sweated in concentration but Ranger didn't seem to have a care in the world. Mokuba gritted his teeth as the slowly passed out of the desert. The sun was setting.

Mokuba glanced over his shoulder, Ranger was gone. He gave a sigh of relief. "Yeah that's what you're supposed to do."

Mokuba nearly lost control of the bike as he glanced to his left. There pulling up along side him, cloak stream lining in his speed, was Ranger! He glanced at Mokuba with a smile. "Relax, see where the wind carries you." He said.

Mokuba swore and increased the power in the engines but Ranger was keeping ahead of him. Mokuba then flicked a small switch one his bikes brakes revealing a small green switch. He flipped the switch and his engines roared louder than ever and he shot ahead of Ranger his speed gauge going nuts!

Ranger scowled. "Damnit, he's got a nitrox booster." He pressed down even harder on the gas and he tore after the young biker.

Mokuba's speed was putting strain on every part of his body as the sun fell and they both switched on their headlights. They roared into a tunnel and out onto the bridge where Mokuba's brother had been killed. Mokuba glanced over his shoulder. Ranger was barely visible now on the edge of his sight.

Then Mokuba heard a second bike revee up and he felt a strange chill. It wasn't the air, to humid to be that. He glanced to his right and saw a biker with a black jacket, on a familiar bike. Mokuba's eyes widened. "Seto?" He whispered. The bike shot out ahead of him and a madness over took him. He laughed hysterically.

"Wait for me brother!" He shouted pressing down on the gas! He tore after the bike not noticing the red light on the back. "I'm not going to stop! Not when the winds this good!" He shouted.

Ranger meanwhile could also see the red light and new if he didn't do something to break the kid out of this things spell the kid would get himself killed! Steering with only his legs he yanked out his twin pistols and opened fire! He put power behind each shot and behind him began to fall the bridge supports!

Mokuba slackened his speed his face strained. Ranger pulled up along side him and shook his head.

"Is revenge worth getting yourself killed?" He asked Mokuba who didn't reply. Then without and further words he shot out Mokuba's tires. Mokuba spun out and slid to the ground as Ranger shot after the red eye!

"Okay so who do I take this bastard down?" He muttered holistering his pistol's. Then he heard another bike reveeing up above him! He glanced up to see Ace on a red racing bike and wearing a matching racing suit with a red helmet. On her back was along metal tube. Ranger smirked. "Oh so that's your plan."

From the bridge Ace hurled something towards him before gunning her engines. Ranger caught his sword and slapped it into place keeping the blade loose in it's sheath. He drove after the kill not wanting to miss the fun after having to do all of this crap just to get to it.

Ace drove off the side the road and went down towards the bridge and yanked out her guns! She opened fire on the creature which swerved away from every shot until Ace found her guns empty. She swore holistering her weapons a mere second before she hit the bridge! She grabbed the steering and regained control of her bike as Ranger pulled up along side her.

"So this is your real target?" He shouted over the roar of their engines.

"Would you have honestly helped me if I'd told you the truth?" She shouted back.

"Maybe," Ranger shot back. "If I didn't know how much of a pain this guy was."

"What to much for you to handle?" She said sarcastically. Ranger smirked.

"Nope, easy as can be." Then he shot ahead towards the creature. He sent his power to the engine and he felt the engine roar like never before! He shot towards the creature and with in seconds passed it!

At that moment the bike reared up and morphed into a flesh meets metal creature with a massive red eye! It roared and went straight at Ranger! Ranger reached for the hilt of his sword, hit the kick stand, killed the engine, and spun ninety degrees! The creature impailed itself with a sickening thunk on the end of Ranger's sword! It held there for a moment black, oil like, blood dripping down his swords blade.

Ranger held it in place and twisted his sword still thrust into the creature's chest. More blood sprayed out on his sword. The creature however still had some life in it as its front wheel morphed into two buzz saw arms! It extend the blades towards him hoping to take him with it!

At that moment however Ace's bike flashed past rider less! Ace was in the air, her rocket laucher in hand! Her helmet was missing and a fierce scowl was on her face. She flipped over the creature and fired a rocket right into the creature's eye! The rocket broke through the eye membrane as and as Ace landed on her bike she brought it to a halt. The creature convulsed and then the rocket exploded!

The creature's guts, blood, and stips of metal were sent flying everwhere. Ranger was unharmed and his sword was undamaged, he sighed as he wiped the blade clean. Amongst the debries and oil fires were numerous bodies, half digested. Ranger frowned.

"So it was killing the bikers?" Ace nodded.

"The highway beuora wanted to have the attacks on bikers end. They maybe a nuisance but they do pump a little something into the local economy." She replied.

Ranger sheathed his sword.

"I still get my half of the cut right?"

Ace smiled. "I'll talk to the highway beuora. They get you something."

At that moment Mokuba struggled over to them. He was limping slightly as he gazed at the burning wreckage. Then he noticed a body wearing a black jacket. His eyes widened.

"Seto!" He shouted running to the body. But even as he drew near the body collapsed in on itself. Liquified bone and tissue spilled out from under the helmet. Mokuba shook all over then he burst into tears.

"Seto… SETO!!"

Mokuba's screams filled the night as Ranger pulled the ends of his cloak together and turned from the mass of bodies.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

The next day at Fanfiction May Cry everything looked the same as it did before Lilo and Stitch moved. Ranger had compromise by letting them keep the Elvis on Jukebox. Still Lilo swept the floor and frowned. Ranger was once again sitting behind his desk with his feet propped up on it. He seemed unusually cheery today Stitch was playing pool. She sighed glancing at the still closed door.

"I change the place back to normal and we still don't get any customers." She said scowling at Ranger.

Ranger grinned. "What's all this we stuff? I do all of the hard work. You just live here."

Lilo was about to object but Ranger cut her off.

"Besides we're about to get a wind fall…"

At that moment the phone rang and Ranger kicked it into his hands. "Speak of the devil."

He put the phone to his ear.

"'bout time, I was wondering when you'd call. So how much did I make?"

There was a silence then Ranger's eyes bulged and he fell out of his chair.

"WHAT!!" He screamed so loudly that the entire neighborhood could hear him. Including Ace who just happened to be calling from a pay phone just down the block. She rubbed her ears.

"I vouched for you but they decided to cut most of your pay to repair the bridge. About sixty percent."

"Wait a minute… I got three hundred dollars as payment… Hang on, Lilo where's the damn calculator? What do you mean Stitch ate it? That thing cost five bucks! Not counting tax. Fine get me some damn paper… How much was I supposed to get?"

"One thousand five hundred." Ace replied. She wait as Ranger did the math.

"Hey wait a minute! That doesn't match up! I'm missing three hundred!"

Ace smiled. "Yeah the other three hundred I took to cover your debts to me."

"YOU WHAT!!" Ranger shouted again being heard around the entire neighbor hood. Ace rubbed her ears.

"Hey you do owe me tons of money. Consider it a down payment. Bye." She said hanging up.

Back in Fanfiction May Cry Ranger flung the phone back on the receiver. Lilo glanced at Stitch and gulped.

"Hide." They dove into cover behind the couch, put on safety helmets, and plugged their ears.

**(Warning intense language. You have been warned.)**

"SON OF A MOTHER FCKING BITCH! WHAT THE HELL!? THAT'S MY MONEY!!" Ranger screamed out a stream of curses that Lilo and Stitch hide from. Ranger continued swearing until he was hoarse. Then he slumped down in his chair and groaned.

**(Okay it's done.)**

"Shit."

**(Never mind.)**

Lilo glanced over the couch as Ranger pulled a bottle of water out from under his desk and gluged it down. Stitch pulled off his helmet.

"Deep breathes Miha, deep breathes." He said.

Ranger grumbled something before tossing aside the now empty bottle.

At that moment the door opened and in stepped Mokuba. His face was cast down and he looked glum. Ranger frowned.

"What do you want?"

Lilo scowled at Ranger before smiling at Mokuba.

"Can I get you something?" She asked smiling.

"Water." He muttered before slumping down on one of the couches. Ranger sighed and sat down across from him. Lilo went in back to get some water while the two remained silent. Finally Mokuba spoke up as Lilo brought him his water.

"I wanted to thank you, for stopping me." He said slowly, Ranger remained silent. "If you hadn't stopped me I'd be dead."

Ranger frowned as Mokuba looked up with a determined look in his eyes.

"I want to race you! We didn't finish our last one and I can't live with myself until we do!" Mokuba said.

Ranger smiled.

"Alright one catch, I win and you have to buy me dinner."

* * *

**Ranger24: And that's the chapter. Again I get cheated out of my money. Note to self, handle all money personally. Read and review.**


	6. Chapter 5: Not love

Ranger24: This one will be weird on all ends

**Ranger24: This one will be weird on all ends. Which is why it's based off the abridged version of this episode. Enjoy the total random stupidity.**

Chapter 5: Not love.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The sun was setting in a small town a young woman was running down some cemente steps. She had short black hair and was wearing… High heels. On stairs? Running? What an R-tard.

"Damnit dad's going to be pissed if I'm late again." She muttered.

Suddenly, but not surprisingly, she tripped.

"OW! OW! ANKLE!" She shouted clutching at her sprained ankle.

"Hey you okay babe?" Said a voice as and hand picked up her fallen shoe. She looked up to see a African American guy with glass and dressed all in cyan. She blushed slightly as he bent down next to her.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Sprained my ankle." She muttered. He placed his hand over it and it glowed. Instantly the pain vanished from her leg.

"Wow thanks," She said rubbing her ankle. At that moment a little blue and Cyan creature ran up the guys back.

"What the heck is that?" She asked staring at it. The guy rubbed his neck.

"Your probably not going to believe this but its my kid." He replied.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Back at Fanfiction May Cry Ranger was as usual sitting behind his desk, bored, reading a magazine, and broke. The money he'd gotten from Ace's job which had been almost a week ago only covered him for about a week and now he was nearly bone dry on cash. Everyone was feeling the hurt of Ranger's beginning to fail business.

Lilo was trying to get the old TV that hadn't even flickered for three days to work.

"Oh come on you stupid thing! I'm missing the primer of the newest episode of Zork and Pals!" Lilo shouted while Stitch came out of a corner wearing his Zork and Pals T-shirt.

"Stitch need Zork and Pals!" Stitch groaned. Ranger turned the page of his magazine.

"Real shame, he was actually going to destroy the world." Ranger muttered and the door opened revealing a pizza guy.

"Hey I got your Pizza that'll be…"

Ranger cut him off rising from his desk.

"You're five minutes late, wisemen says forgiveness is a virtue. But don't expect me to pay for late Pizza!" Ranger said grabbing the Pizza. The pizza walked down faced to the door.

"I hate my job." He muttered before leaving.

Lilo stared at Ranger.

"That actually works?"

Ranger nodded setting it down on the desk and taking a bit out of the first slice. As he finished the first slice the door opened again and in stepped the Shadow Syndicate. The Shadow Syndicate set his Crowbar in the umbrella rack.

"Ranger, I got a job for you." He said walking over to Ranger's desk.

Suddenly Lilo ran up to him.

"Can you fix a TV?" She asked and Stitch instantly gave booboo eyes. TSS scratched his head.

"Kind of but that's not why I'm here."

But before he could finish Lilo dragged him over to the TV.

"Fix it then!" Lilo shouted pointing at the TV.

"Why should I do that?" TSS said blankly.

"Because we're missing Zork and Pals!" Lilo shouted angrily.

"He Ranger you want a job that'll get her out of your hair for a bit?" TSS said trying to edge away from the angry Preteen.

"What's the word, my vampire friend?" Ranger asked finishing his fourth slice of pizza. Lilo blinked in surprise.

"You're a vampire?" She asked confused.

TSS ignored her. "We've got a gig from a decently placed Politician."

"Pays good?" Ranger asked biting into a fifth slice.

TSS nodded. "So you going to do the job?"

Ranger instantly rose to his feet setting down the half finished slice.

"You need to ask?" He said grabbing his cloak, guns, and his sword. Then he and TSS made for the door. Lilo following close behind.

"Wait! What about Zork?" She asked as the two hopped into the TSS's M12 LRV, otherwise known as the warthog/puma/chuppathingy.

"You can catch the reruns!" Ranger shouted as they drove off.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

It was near sun set, Ranger and TSS sat in a very nice mansion. Ranger whistled glancing about the finely furbished room.

"Damn, it's true what they say about politicians." He muttered.

"Makes you wonder were he gets all of the money from." TSS replied.

At that moment the door was opened by the butler and in stepped a short man with a big nose, mustache, and a little black hat.

"Ah you must be mister Ranger24. The Shadow Syndicate has told me you're the best in the business." The Mayor said walking towards them a big book in the hands of the butler.

"That's what they say." Ranger said a slight smile. "So what's the job?"

The mayor sat down in the chair in front of them.

"You see it's my adopted Daughter Yuffie, she's a Tom boy." The mayor said.

"So?" Ranger asked.

"And she's all I have left. Her happiness means the world to me." The mayor continued.

'Oh boy,' Ranger thought guessed, thinking of what was most likely what the mayor had called him for.

"And there's this guy named Tucker. I want you to kill him." The mayor finished.

"I had no idea." Ranger said rolling his eyes.

"Well there's also been a string of murders lately so that gives me a definite excuse." The mayor said as the butler set the book on the table pushing the book forward and opening it for Ranger. The pages were filled with pictures of people who'd been murdered recently. All the murders were odd as the bodies were found in secure buildings.

"Besides I'm not sure that the boys human, and he's defiantly not normal!" The mayor proclaimed.

"Oh come on I'm sure he's not…" Ranger started but the mayor cut him off.

"He's black, and Yuffie is Asian."

"So?" Ranger asked.

"Well I saw him use what looked like cure magic on a plant, then this annoying romantic music started playing! Also he has this freaky thing that follows him around and he claims is his kid!" The mayor shouted. Ranger sighed and rose to his feet.

"If I take down the murder I get cash even if it isn't this Tucker guy?" Ranger asked.

The mayor shrugged. "Sure, just try and kill him. Or at least threaten him."

"You're racist." Ranger muttered heading out the door.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Later at some random bar. Tucker was sitting with a small blue cyan armored thing at his heel.

"Mind if I sit down?" Ranger asked. Tucker blinked in surprise.

"How the hell did you get her so fast?" He asked.

"By breaking the fourth wall and moving to the next scene." Ranger proclaimed.

Suddenly the bar tender put a pizza down in front of Ranger as Tucker quickly left the shop. Ranger began to sweat.

"Oh shit. Do I eat the Pizza or follow the perp? Eat the Pizza? Follow the perp? Eat the pizza? Follow the perp?" Ranger muttered trying to make up it's confused mind. "Oh man, what would the real Dante do?" He asked breaking the fourth wall.

Outside in an alley Tucker and his kid were suddenly confronted by a creature with sallow green skin, blade like arms, and big red eyes.

"I can't believe that the morons haven't realized that I'm the one killing everyone." It hissed.

"Oh shut up." Tucker muttered. His kid gave a mournful blarg.

"What the hell are you depressed about?" The creature hissed. Tucker sighed.

"I'm a lover not a killer." He said depressed.

Suddenly a gunshot rang out and blasted out one of the creature's eyes out!

"Oh shit!" It screamed. Tucker whirled around to see Ranger scarfing down the last of the pizza.

"Wait I thought you ate the pizza?" Tucker said in confusion.

"I broke the fourth wall again and remembered that in devil may cry 3 Dante killed demons and ate pizza at the same time." Ranger replied pointing his pistol in the air as the creature disappeared and then reappeared over him. Ranger didn't even look up as he shot the creature square in the face with his M6C. A small fountain of blood poured down onto Ranger's shoulder before the creature crashed to the ground right next to him.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

A half hour later Ranger, Tucker, and Tucker junior were staring out over the city from a ledge.

"So you mind telling me what's going on?" Ranger asked. Tucker groaned.

"I guess you figured out I'm not normal." He said.

"No shit, especially since you had that thing." Ranger said pointing at Tucker junior who growled at him.

"Well I was summoned by the butler guy to summon my master into the mortal world. Really I just wanted to have a good time." His eyes suddenly softened. "But then I meet Yuffie. If my master is summoned he'll destroy everything in this world and this town."

"And Yuffie." Ranger noted.

"I don't want that to happen. I used to be a total pimp but now. I'm almost embarced to say that I'm actually in love." Tucker said.

"So what are you going to do?" Ranger asked. Tucker junior gave a solemn blarg.

"I'm just one darkling. I can't face my master and hope to win." Tucker said hopelessly.

"Well why don't I give you a hand and we take this master of yours down like Batman and Robin?" Ranger suggested.

"You think I could be Batman?" Tucker asked hopefully.

"What? Hell no! I'm Batman!" Ranger replied.

"Why do you get to be…" Tucker started to object but Ranger pulled out his pistol and pointed it at Tucker's face.

"Oh… That's a very convincing argument." Tucker said quickly.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Back at the Mansion Yuffie woke up as she heard the sound of something hitting the floor down stairs.

"Dad?" She said getting out of bed. She ran to the door and gave it a tug but it had been locked from the outside. She grabbed a table and using it as a battering ram she smashed down the door or at least the lock. She ran out of her room and gazed do the grand stair case to see the mayor lying on the ground with some satanic symbols on the ground about him and a trickle of blood oozing from his body.

"Holy shit!" She shouted running down the stairs. But just as she reached his body the butler snatched her and put a knife to her throat.

"You should have been a good girl and stayed in your room. Now I have to kill you." He said getting ready to stab her!

Suddenly the Batman theme began playing. Then…

BANG!

The butler cried out as he fell to the ground his hand spraying blood.

KICK!

Ranger knocked down the door sword in hand as he holstered his pistol.

"I call the butler, in the foyer, with a knife!" He shouted.

SMASH!

Tucker kicked in the window and he and Junior leapt.

"Tucker!" Yuffie shouted.

Tucker ran over to the Mayor.

"Oh shit I think he might be dead." He said a loud.

The butler struggled to his feet.

"You bastards!" He shouted.

"The game is up Mr. Butler!" Ranger shouted pointing his sword at the bleeding butler. "Your plan to open a portal to the dark realm and destroy the world is finished."

"And I would have gotten away with it to if it hadn't been for you meddling kids and the freaky alien baby!" He shouted back.

"Fck you creep, get him Junior!" Tucker shouted and Tucker Junior leapt on the Butler.

BLOODY MURDER!

"OH GOD MY SPINE!" The butler screamed as T Jr. brutally murdered him.

PORTAL!

"Wait where'd that one…?" Ranger started but then noticed the hole forming in the satanic symbols out of which emerged the Kraken from pirates of the Caribbean two!

"Oh boy! A victim!" Ranger shouted leaping into the air!

PWN!

Ranger stabbed the kraken in the ubula and shoved it back through the hole it had dragged it's fat ass through. Ranger rose to his feet and swung his sword onto his shoulder.

"I make the simplest things bad ass!" Ranger said with a smirk on his face.

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!" TSS shouted as he suddenly leapt in and kicked Ranger in the face! Ranger was sent flying into the staircase. TSS then realized his mistake.

"Oh sorry man are you okay?" He asked running over to Ranger.

"No now get me the hell out of here." Ranger muttered spouting random curse words.

Yuffie turned to Tucker.

"Quick, do that healing thing and save my crazy adoptive father." Yuffie said. Tucker nodded and his hand glowed green. Ranger smiled.

"Just send the check in the mail." He said as he and TSS left the mansion.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

"Oh come on! Haven't you fixed it yet?" Lilo yelled as TSS tried his best to fix Ranger's TV two days later.

"Why the hell am I doing this?" TSS asked.

"Because if you don't I'll have Stitch remove your testicals." Lilo said brightly as Stitch pulled out a rusty scalpel.

"Well aren't you little miss bitch." TSS muttered as the TV flickered on. Lilo and Stitch gave a cheer.

Ranger sat behind his desk as usual, and he'd just finished his second pizza of the day. He was looking over a postcard Tucker and Yuffie had sent him. TSS wiped some sweat of his forehead as he stood up.

"So I hear that couples getting married." TSS said.

Ranger nodded. "Shame I can't go."

Lilo stood up.

"Why's that Ranger?" She asked.

"Because last time I went to a church I blew it up." Ranger snapped.

**Ranger24: And that's the end of this incredibly stupid piece of the story. Next time ULTIMATE CHICK FIGHT!! Read and review.**


	7. Chapter 6: Rolling Thunder part 1

**Ranger24: And here comes the all important pair of chick fight chapters.**

* * *

Chapter 6: Rolling thunder part 1.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. (Doesn't mean I don't pwn!)

Somewhere in Fanfiction city a guy ran out of an alley clutching at his broken arm. He ran towards a steel barred gate but it was locked.

"Help!" He shouted positively terrified. "Somebody help me!"

There came a roar from the alley and out of it came a massive purple dinosaur, with a decapitated head hanging from its mouth. It dropped the head and began to sing!

"I love you,

You love me,

We're a happy family!"

"HELP ME!!" The man screamed as his ears began to bleed.

Then there came the roar of a motorcycle engine! The man glance at the gate as a yellow head light burned bright! Then out of the dark, smashing down the gate and the landing on the head of the monstrosity known as Barney landed Ace. She then pulled out a 9mm and shot Barney in the head several times.

"Get out of here." She told the man. He blinked in confusion before realizing that four monstrosities known as the teletubies were surrounding them!

"Move your ass." She said pulling out an SMG. The man didn't need telling twice as the teletubies leapt down, giggling into battle! One grabbed a blood machete and ran at Ace who gunned the engine of her motor cycle and drove away from the monsters guns blazing! Her gun fired killing two before the third grabbed the SMG from her hand and tried to bear hug her, knocking her of her bike! Ace pulled out a pair of 45's and shot it in the face repeatedly. She then picked up the fallen SMG which was snapped in half, she groaned.

"Guess I can't use that anymore." She said tossing it aside. At that moment the fourth and final teletubie roared and ran at her! But as it did a bolt of lightning shot down and electrocuted it! It howled in pain as it was flash fried. Ace blinked in surprise.

"Lightning?" She muttered turning around to look up at the roof of the apartment complex behind her. On the roof was a woman in a black coat with electric green eyes and lightning blonde hair. Two antenna like strands could be seen jutting out from her otherwise smooth due.

**FLASHBACK!!**

_"So a she monster?" Ace asked._

_Ace was at some random church talking to the minister._

_"It's been the same for weeks now!" The minister said shaking. "That woman's been leading the monsters in their attack on the town. I've seen her burn people alive with lightning!"_

**END FLASHBACK!!**

"Honestly does the flashback thing have to be that loud?" Ace asked rubbing her ear drums. Then she took aim at the thing standing atop the roof.

"Well It looks like I've found you. How about you take your true form? That's when you freaks are strongest right?" Ace mocked before opening fire. The woman leapt into the air and sent a bolt of lightning at Ace who dove for cover inside of the apartment complex. Moving with commando efficiency she made her was to the roof and came face to face with the bitch.

The odd thing was she was still in human form. Ace took aim.

"So I guess you prefer that form." Ace growled. The woman shrugged and smiled. "Well it doesn't how you look I'll kill you all the same!" Ace shouted opening fire! To her surprise the woman hurled a pair of kunai knives at her. Then she pulled out a pair of over sized forty fives and fired them both at the same time!

Ace dove for cover behind a chimney which exploded as the electric charged bullets! Ace then hurled a hand grenade! The woman's eyes widened in surprise as Ace leapt from cover and shot the grenade detonating it right in front of the woman's face blasting her to the edge of the roof. The woman examined her now ruined coat, torn to shreds by the blast of the frag grenade.

Suddenly gunshots shattered the tiles at her feet! Ace was trying to force her off the roof the woman smirked and swan dived off the roof and was gone. Ace cursed, her prey had escaped.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

The next day at Fanfiction May Cry Ranger was for once alone sitting behind his desk and was for once alone. He had his feet propped up on the desk next to an empty pizza box. He was reading… a woman's fashion magazine?

"Let's see I'd do her, do her, wouldn't do her, do her if that other chick was also involved and it got slightly lesbo… Do her if you paid me." Ranger muttered as the door opened and in stepped Ace. She walked over to the desk and snatched the magazine out of his hands and looked over the page he was on.

"Thinking of cross dressing?" She asked a smirk on her face. Ranger groaned.

"Worse, Lilo's having me look through the magazine to see if there's anything in there within my budget." Ranger said clearly not happy.

"Well I need to ask you something." Ace said walking over to a cabinet on which a pair of swords and two spare guns were held up by nails.

"Fire away." Ranger said glad to have a reason to stop reading the magazine.

"You wouldn't no anything about a she devil would you?" Ace said hoping Ranger would know something.

"Keep talking." Ranger said not speaking any information.

"She looked human but had lightning powers." Ace continued

"Well there are plenty of freak shows out there that can pass for human. And lightning does sound interesting. You rarely see anyone packing that." Ranger replied.

"She also use kunia's and packed heat." Ace said.

"Well most creatures do have fingers and that's all you need to pull the trigger." Ranger replied.

"Well that maybe true. But this one had two guns. She fired the both one in each hand. Just like you do." Ace finished.

Ranger smiled.

"Well that's a surprise. Maybe you should consider introducing us. Otherwise I can't help you." Ranger said.

"Well that won't happen, next time I see her she is dead." Ace said pulling open the door. In stepped Lilo and Stitch.

"Oh hi Ace, you leaving?" Lilo asked brightly.

"Yeah sorry kid. Maybe next time we can have some fun." Ace said smiling.

Then she made her way out towards her motorcycle while up above her the same chick from before was watching her a smirk on her face.

Meanwhile inside…

"Ranger have you taken a look at the magazine?" Lilo asked the mercenary.

"I'm not buying you any clothes from this magazine." Ranger scoffed.

"But you lost at Yugioh!" Lilo said.

"I could have won."

"You summoned a bunch of monsters in the same turn." Lilo shot back.

"So?" Ranger asked leaning back.

"That's against the rules!"

"Screw the rules, I'm the main character!" Ranger snapped.

Suddenly the phone rang. Ranger smacked the desk and caught it in his hands.

"Fanfiction May Cry?" Then he smiled. "I thought it was you. The whole lightning kind of gave it away."

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Later at an oh-so-illegal weapons shop Ace was getting her rocket launcher back from the repairmen Eustcus Bag.

"There you go." Eustcus said putting the weapon in a white cloth wrap. "I'd hate to see what giant thing you're taking out with that thing."

"Actually my target's about the size of a human." Ace replied.

"Shot it with that and there'll b nothing left." Eustcus muttered before heading out.

"Hey that pretty woman with you?" Eustcus asked. Ace's eyes widened she grabbed a forty five and ran out front. There on roof of the adjacent building was the bitch. She smirked and pointed at Ace's feet. Ace glanced at her feet and saw a pipe bomb!

"Look out!" She shouted tackling Eustcus mere nano-seconds before the bomb went off and sent dust flying everywhere. When the smoke cleared the woman was gone. Ace gritted her teeth then noticed her shirt had been ruined by the blast.

"Crap." She muttered. "I guess it's payback for yesterday."

"What the hell was that?" Eustcus shouted.

"Oh nothing just you little girl fight. I have to get changed before I go to work." Ace said Pulling the launcher onto her back and hopping on her motorcycle.

* * *

**Ranger24: That's part one next time… CAT FIGHT!! Read and review. **


	8. Chapter 7: Rolling Thunder part 2

**Ranger24: This is it! Cat fight!! Place your bets now or stew in your own misery later. Anyways enjoy the violence.**

Chapter 7: Rolling thunder part 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing. (Dosen't mean I don't pwn!)

Later at a woman's clothing store Ace was looking through a rack of ridiculously expensive clothes.

"My god I wish this wasn't the only shop in town. Maybe I should use some of Ranger's money." She muttered picking up a green shirt.

"Excuse me, I want to try this on." She said to a store worker.

"I'm sorry; there is someone else in the dressing room." The worker said with a smile.

At that moment the dressing room curtain opened and Ace held back a gasp. The Woman was there, though she had removed the black coat and replaced it with a white t-shirt. She seemed surprised to see Ace and dropped the thing of clothes she was carrying. The two of them stooped down to pick up the fallen clothes.

"Get the hell out." Ace hissed into her ear.

The two stood up and Ace passed into the dressing room. She began pulling on the new shirt. Green like Ranger's stuff… Then an idea struck her and she stuck her head out of the curtain.

"Hey can I get some of the really expensive stuff by the door?"

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC **

Later at the church the priest from the previous chapter's flash back, Ace was sitting in the same place as before being berated by the same priest as before.

"I told you to kill that woman! Not go clothing shopping!" He shouted in anger.

"Calm down. I'm sure she'll be her soon." Ace said glancing up at the hanging steel chandeliers. At that moment electricity ran along the metal wire's from which they hung! The priest gasped in shock as the lights were ignited. Ace unwrapped her rocket launcher.

"I suggest you get out now. This is going to get loud." She said. The priest didn't need telling twice as the woman leapt in through a window, sending shattered glass everywhere! She landed in the aisle and Ace raised her launcher.

"Come on bitch. I don't care if I bring this whole church down to kill you." Ace said taking aim. Before she could fire the woman sent a blast of lightning at her! Ace dove out of the way and thee woman ran towards were the priest had fled but Ace swung her launcher bringing the bayonet down like an axe. It 

slashed across the woman's left hip. She swung again but it suck in the cross and the blonde swept kicked her! Ace fell to ground and the woman leapt back lightning crackling about her right hand.

Ace yanked her Rocket launcher out of the cross, bringing it down and she dove behind a pillar for cover and the blast hit the wooden floor. Ace glanced out from cover as the woman landed lightly on a window sill. She glance at the wound on her hip, the wound sealed but the tear remained. Ace glared at her.

"I guess cutting you a little won't do the trick!" She shouted while the woman sent another blast of lightning at her! Ace rolled from cover and fired a rocket! The woman dove out of the way but the rocket followed her! She leapt out of the way again and it blew a massive hole in the side of the church.

A little ways away Ranger winced as a gaping hole was blown in the church.

"Man, guess it's that time of the month." He muttered.

Inside the woman dove at Ace and kicked the launcher out of her hands! Ace yanked out her pistols and fired! The woman pulled out her own and returned fire! Their bullets intercepted in midair! Ace tossed aside her empty pistols and punched the woman in the face. She kicked her back in the chest. They both fell to the ground and in a second they were back on their feet exchanging blows with their fists and feet.

Then the woman swept kicked Ace again sending her face down to the ground. Ace flipped herself over to see the woman's forty fives pointed at her. She closed her eyes bracing herself. A single gunshot rang out but Ace felt no pain. She opened her eyes. The woman's gun was smoking but she didn't have any wounds. Then she noticed a chunk of own hair was missing.

"You bitch!" She shouted rising to her feet and socking the woman across the face! Ace then head butted her and moved to strike her in the chest. But the woman caught her blow and punched her in the face and threw her to the ground! Before she could finish it though, Ace kicked her in the stomach and smashed one of the pews. The two of the panted before rising to their feet. Ace readied herself for another round but the woman charged up another lightning attack!

Suddenly Ranger's sword came flying in and stabbed into the pue between the two of them! They both glanced at the door as Ranger cursed.

"Damnit I missed." Ranger said.

"Well that's a fine way to say hello." The woman said startling Ace. "You're late anyways."

"Oh come on I just had to deal with little miss bitch the third." Ranger said walking forward.

"Ranger that's the bitch that tried to kill me!" Ace shouted grabbing one of her fallen guns.

"You know you have shitty timing kid. I mean sure you got here in time to stop us from killing each other but what if one of us had been killed?" The woman continued ignoring Ace.

"Well you're both still breathing right?" Ranger said yanking his sword out of the pew.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!" Ace shouted exasperated. The woman raised an eyebrow.

"Didn't you play the first game before agreeing to this parody?" She asked.

"Of course I didn't! My parents wouldn't let me near anything demon related!" Ace shouted.

"Well anyways my name is Larxene, I'm Ranger's partner."

"Ex partner." Ranger added.

"What? You still pissed at something?" Larxene asked.

"You through a sword at me." Ranger dead panned.

"Well actually I pinned you to your desk and through a motorcycle which you blew up." Larxene corrected.

"So? I shot him in the face, ruined his first coat, and shot him several more times! The bullets are still there!" Ace countered.

"Right in the wardrobe. That's got to hurt." Larxene replied.

"Can we stop talking about things that have hurt me?" Ranger asked.

"Queit Ranger, the grownups are talking." Larxene said with a smirk.

"You're not my original master. You just look exactly like her." Ranger snapped.

"Again what the hell is going on here?" Ace asked keeping her gun trained on Larxene.

"I think you get that in this business people like to test themselves against a strong opponent, you and I haven't exactly gotten a lot of a work out from our recent victims. That's why I kept my lid shut when you asked about Larxene." Ranger answered swing his sword into its sheath.

"Besides I thought you'd be more fun than my actually prey." Larxene added. Ace raised an eyebrow.

"Prey?"

Larxene scowled. "You can come out now; you've been watching us all along."

At that moment out of the shadow's came the priest eye's glowing red.

"You know I'd thought you'd all have killed each other by now." The priest growled.

"Let me guess you hired me to kill her because she was hired to kill you?" Ace asked.

"Yes and if it wasn't for that meddling burnet behind you I would have gotten away with it!" The priest said walking down the aisle.

"Hey! Nobody makes a Scooby Doo reference but me!" Ranger shouted.

"A darkside passing of as a priest, who would have guessed?" Ace said, spinning her gun by the trigger guard around her finger.

"I guess this bastard doesn't know what we do for a living." Ranger said flicking the safety on his M6C off.

"I can almost cry. Boo hoo." Larxene said mockingly.

"It's not that I can't kill you it's just I wanted to save myself the trouble!" Shouted the priest who then transformed into a massive horned creature with white wings, a toga, and a thick beard.

"That's one ugly son of a bitch." Ranger said.

"ENOUGH OF YOUR JOKES! TIME TO DIE!!" The darkside shouted lunging at them! Everyone whipped out their pistols and opened fire.

"Jokes on you!" All three shouted! Rounds slammed into the darkside sending him flying back! They continued shooting until all three were dry on ammo.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC **

The next day, back at Fanfiction May Cry Larxene had a small black bag slung over her shoulder as she made her way to the door. Each one of those involved in killing the priest had gotten a rough cut of five hundred dollars. As she passed Ranger he looked up.

"You can always come back here. Doors open anytime you want." Ranger said.

"Thanks but I still feel the need to go out and see a little more of the world before I just decide to pick one spot to stay." Larxene replied.

"Happy trails." Ranger said. Then Larxene reached the door.

She suddenly stopped and turned around.

"Hey, you aren't still sore about the sword thing are you?" She asked.

As if in answer Ranger's sword went flying into the door. She raised an eyebrow.

"I'll take that as a no." She muttered heading out the door. She found to her surprise Ace waiting for her wearing a grey suit on her motor cycle.

"Hop on. I'll take you half way." Ace said. Larxene smiled and hopped on.

"Nice outfit. How'd you afford it? The checks weren't mailed yet were they?" She asked. Ace smirked.

"No, but it's easy when you know the combination to Ranger's safe and how much money he keeps in there." Ace said evilly. Larxene smirked sadistically.

"Nice, I got a dress." She said.

"Oh that's going to burn." Ace replied.

From the door Ranger watched as they drove off. He yanked his sword out of the door. At that moment an old woman came to the door.

"Excuse me, are you Ranger24?" She asked.

"Yeah." Ranger said. Then the woman handed him a piece of paper.

"Here's your bill."

Ranger blinked in surprise and alarm as he saw the massive total; almost five hundred dollars!

"Wait? Bill? But I didn't buy anything!" He said trying to shut the door.

"Nope two separate women told me that you were footing the bill." The old lady said stopping the door with her foot.

"What the hell did they buy?" Ranger asked starting to panic; he hadn't received his cut yet.

"Clothes."

"What? Clothes! How can clothes cost that much?"

"They were very nice and you have to pay."

"Look I don't have any money right now." Ranger said moving into his shop but the woman pushed inside.

"Well its pay or we'll have to call the police."

At that moment Lilo arrived at the door followed by Stitch.

"I hope Ranger doesn't mind I bought some clothes with his money." She opened the door just in time to see Ranger whack the old lady over the head with a wine bottle. She fell down out cold.

"Quick grab her legs!" Ranger said.

"But…"

"GRAB HER LEGS!!" Ranger shouted and Lilo and Stitch instantly helped him carry the woman out back.

* * *

**Ranger24: This is why I don't go wardrobe shopping that much. And churches just seem to get blown up all around me. Read and review. **

* * *


	9. Chapter 8: In private

**Ranger24: It's time to get Bondish. And Beer loving! Enjoy the greatness! **

* * *

Chapter 8: In private.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It was a fine day when at a local dinner Ranger stepped inside, the guitar case holding his sword on his back. He set it down and to a set it the bar. The owner, Pop's, smiled as Ranger sat down.

"What'll it be Mr. 24?" Pop's asked.

"Vinila shake, shaken. Not stired." Ranger replied.

"Got it one shaken shake, coming up." Pop's said turning around to the kitchen.

"But Suki!" Said a male voice from behind Ranger. Standing behind him, was a young man with tanned skin and black hair done up in a pony tail seemed to be almost begging to one of the dinner's waitress's. Ranger recognized the auburn hair Suki.

'_I just hope neither brings me into this.'_ Ranger thought to himself as Pop's set his milkshake on the counter.

"Look Sokka you know how I said I liked the dark haired, sword carrying, most likely a badass type?" Suki said.

"Yes." Sokka said.

'_Please don't drag me into this._' Ranger silently pleaded.

"You see Ranger over there?"

'_Shit_.' Ranger thought.

"He's a fine example of that." Suki continued.

"You're kidding." Sokka said flatly.

"No I'm not." Suki shot back. "Heck if you were more like Ranger…"

Ranger finished his shake and slapped his money on the counter.

"Later Pop's." He said grabbing the guitar case and walking out of the dinner. All the while Sokka glared at him.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Later as Ranger arrived at Fanfiction May Cry Sokka was watching him from an alley.

"What's this guy got that I don't?" Sokka muttered.

"Hey!" Shouted Lilo who happened to be standing behind him with Stitch. Stitch growled at Sokka. Sokka backed up a step.

"What are you doing?" Lilo snapped glaring at him.

"Umm… Nothing?" Sokka said before running for it.

"After him Stitch!" Lilo shouted! The two of them chased after him and he kept running right through a crowd of people who were window shopping!

"Help! I'm being chased by a little girl and her blue dog, Koloa thing!" Sokka shouted turning into a very narrow alley filled with all sorts of junk. Lilo and Stitch came to a halt in front of the alley.

"That's right! You'd better run!" Lilo shouted.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Later that night Sokka kept his eyes on Ranger who was making his way down the street.

'There has got to be dirt on this guy.' Sokka thought to himself. Then suddenly Ranger turned aside and enter a building. Sokka ran after him and entered into a large night club. Scratch that, the bad Techno informed him it was a rave. Add that to the blinding multi colored lights and the number of glow rings, it was defiantly a rave.

He ran to the edge of the stairs searching the distinctive green cloak and guitar case. Then he spotted Ranger walking over to a couple. He spoke words Sokka couldn't hear over the music and the distance. The man took offence to what Ranger had said and tried to punch him but to Sokka's Ranger kicked the man in the chest and sent him flying into a wall. The woman lead Ranger away towards the bathrooms.

"Oh man this is so dirt!" Sokka shouted running after Ranger. He reached the bathrooms and then saw the two… go into the ladies room? Sokka ran to the door and pressed his ear against it.

"Have you ever been in here before?" Asked a woman's voice.

"You, the club, or the ladies room?" Ranger asked.

Suddenly there came a roar from inside the room almost drowned out by the sound of the music. Then to Sokka's shock a series of gun shots rang out! Then came the sound of something heavy hitting the floor. Sokka dove behind a floor pot as the door opened.

Out stepped Ranger wiping a bit of blood of his cheek. Sokka watched as Ranger walked past and then he ran to the bathroom door and opened it. There was no sign of the woman.

"Holy shit," Sokka whispered. "Ranger's a killer!"

"Hey!" Shouted a gruff male voice. Sokka turned around to see several shocked girls and a bouncer.

"Why are you trying to get into the ladies restroom?" The bouncer demanded. Sokka gulped.

Two minutes later Sokka was thrown out of the club with a black eye.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

The next night Sokka followed Ranger to a pub. He sat at the bar while Ranger was sitting at a table with the Shadow Syndicate. This time he was close enough to hear what was said.

"Excellent work last night Agent Ranger." TSS commented sipping from a wine glass with a liquid in it that looked horribly like blood.

"Just doing my job." Ranger replied with a smirk.

"Your next mission is much less legal but the city council needs these guys taken care of." TSS continued.

"I expect the pay will be good." Ranger said. TSS smirked pulling up a big black briefcase.

"I could tell you, but maybe I should show you." TSS said.

He opened the case and Sokka had an anime jaw drop. Inside was layer upon layer of twenty dollar bills! It was enough to buy a fringing car!

"It's a deal." Ranger said closing the case and picking it up.

"Be careful." TSS said. Ranger grinned.

"Aren't I always?" Ranger asked rhetorically.

Then he left with Sokka close behind.

About ten minutes later they arrived at the city docks. Sokka watched from behind a crate as Ranger stood silent, waiting for something.

The out of the dark came several limousines. Out of them stepped two dozen men in black suits, or trench coats. Each wore a matching hat that went with the outfit. Then as they approached Ranger many pulled out shot guns, pistols, and sub machine guns! Sokka gulped.

"No way he's going to take on the whole mob by himself." Sokka whispered.

The lead mobster stepped forward.

"Do you have the money?" He asked.

Ranger held up the briefcase.

"Right here." Ranger replied.

"Good, time to cut out the middle man." The mobster said his eyes flashing red! The gangsters raised their weapons but before they could open fire Ranger yanked out his M6C and opened fire! Two mobsters fell dead before the rest opened fire! Ranger strafed right gun in one hand brief case full of cash in the other. Two more mobster's fell dead blood spraying from their chests.

"You're making this to easy!" Ranger shouted still firing! Three more mobsters fell dead as Ranger landed on the deck of a docked freighter, ducked for cover, reloaded, and then jumped back into the fight gun flashing every time he pulled the trigger! Mobster after mobster fell dead to Ranger's accurate fire.

Sokka meanwhile cowered behind the crate as stray rounds ripped through the thin ply wood!

"I'm getting the hell out of here!" Sokka shouted before running down alley. He glanced over his shoulder to see even more gun fire breaking out behind him! He didn't even notice as he ran out of peir and fell in the water.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

The next night Sokka snuck over to Fanfiction May Cry. He glanced about, no little girl or freaky blue, Koloa, thing here to stop him this time. He turned the handle, the door was not locked. He hurried inside and ran to Ranger's desk pulling open the drawers.

"There has got to be some more evidence in here." He muttered. But all he found were some old bubble gum wrappers, unfiled paper work, a couple of flash drives, a few CD's, a broken PEDZ dispenser, and a The Who CD. He groaned and sat down in the chair.

"What does it take to find some dirt on this guy?" He asked to no one in particular. He glanced at the stair case. Maybe he could find something in Ranger's room.

He hurried up stairs and entered Ranger's room. It was an absolute mess, dirty clothes on the floor, the bed wasn't made, and empty chip bags were mixed in with the whole mess. Still he could find nothing incriminating.

"God damnit!" He muttered stubbing his toe on the old book case.

"Hello there, my precious." Hissed a voice. Sokka whirled around. There on the window cill was Gollum! The wicked creature leapt down into the room.

"Now, my precious, we gets our revenge on the nasty cruel warrior with the green cloak." Gollum hissed and Sokka backed up.

"Who the hell are you?" He asked terrified.

"Never mind that, here take this bell." Gollum said tossing Sokka a little silver bell with a skull carved into it. Sokka frowned staring at it.

"What the heck is…" He started looking up but Gollum was gone.

Sokka ran to the still open window and glanced outside. "Where'd he…"

"Ranger! Where are you? I need money." Came Ace's voice. Sokka was frantic now as he heard Ace climbing the stairs.

"Ranger? Where the hell are you?" She shouted. In a panic Sokka leapt out the window. Thing is he was two stories up.

Ace kicked down the door and found the room empty. She looked around frowning.

"Okay… I don't see any Ranger, or money."

Meanwhile outside in the street Sokka yelped in pain as he hobbled along the street, his left ankle was sprained.

He hobbled his way along until he reached the street. There he sighed and sat down on the pavement.

"Can this night get any worse?" Sokka asked.

Then there came a growl. He glanced across the street to another alley. There something was moving. Sokka stood up ignoring his sprain. Then out of the dark emerged a massive monster with purple hide and knife like fangs! It roared in fury as Sokka screamed in fear as it moved out of the alley!

"HELP ME!!" He shouted backing up. The only place to hide was in a nearby dumpster! He knew he wouldn't get away though.

"BINGO!"

Suddenly out of the dark leapt Ranger sword drawn! He stabbed the creature in the side of the head! Sokka took the opportunity to dive into the dumpster! Ranger slashed and stabbed at the monster repeatedly until it finally fell to the ground dead.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

The next day at the dinner Suki had her back turned to Sokka while he pleaded his case to her.

"Suki I'm telling you the truth! Ranger is a killer!" Sokka shouted.

"Sokka seriously, begging me while I'm at work?" Suki snapped back.

"Suki you have to stay away from him! I followed him around and saw him kill a monster with this really big sword he hides in that guitar case he always carries around!" Sokka continued.

"You only just figured out that he has a sword hidden in that thing?" Suki said raising an eyebrow. Sokka blinked in surprise.

"You knew that already?" He asked.

"Yeah everyone in town knows it, even the blind, legless, one ear deaf, homeless guy on thirty fourth street knows it." Suki answered.

"Oh." Sokka said a slight bit embarrassed but he quickly recovered.

"I've kept an I on him the past two days, he's killed a lot of people!"

Suki started walking away.

"Sokka…" But he grabbed her by the arm.

"Suki just stay away from him." Sokka said seriously.

At that moment the door to the dinner opened and in stepped Ranger. Sokka watched him walk over to the bar and sit down. Then Sokka ran out the door. Ranger glanced at Sokka's retreating back.

"Was it something I said?" He asked.

"No." Suki said with a sigh. "He's frigin paranoid. He said he's been following you around."

Ranger sighed. "That never goes well.'

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Later that night at a bar Ace snatched up a large wad of cash.

"You know Ranger you'd probably be in less debt if you didn't lose all your money in poor gambling skills." She said as Lilo collected a small sum she had scored, also of Ranger's money. Ranger muttered a curse.

"Hey Ranger." Lilo said as she handed her money to Stitch. "There was this guy with a pony tail watching the shop from an alley the other day."

Ranger sighed. "Yeah I know."

"My someone is doing something stupid senses are tingling." Ace said.

Ranger groaned and stood up from the table, grabbing the guitar case that held his sword.

"I'd better go save his ass. Lilo if I'm not back by 11; lock the door and get to bed." Ranger said heading to the door.

Lilo waited until he was out the door before she turned to Ace.

"Party at the shop?" She suggested.

Ace grinned. "Fine by me."

"Okay, where's Stitch?" Lilo asked glancing about for the experiment.

There he was at the bar with four empty beer mugs in front of him. He had his arms wrapped around two other drunks.

"_Nobody knows how dry I am. Hickup! Nobody knows how dry I am!"_ All three sang as Lilo and Ace had anime sweat drops.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Meanwhile at Sokka's apartment Sokka was just finishing up packing his bags. The silver bell was on his bed. He slammed the lid shut on the suit case and headed out the door.

"Well time to start a new life until that killer leaves town." Sokka said sadly.

He reached the elevator, but to his surprise it opened for him. Standing there, was Ranger eyes dark and looking positively terrifying. Sokka screamed and ran down the hall back to his room.

"Please don't kill me!" He shouted running to his room and heading to the window fire escape!

When he reached the window he glanced back and his heart pounded with fear. Ranger was at the door! He jumped out the window and ran down the fire escape to his car. He slammed his key in the ignition and hit the gas. He drove off into the night.

Hours later, far past midnight he drove into the near by desert of dust. His headlights were the only thing still bright as he had nearly fallen asleep at the wheel.

Then out of the dark, something loomed up! Sokka hit the brakes and wished he hadn't. Standing in the road, visible only by the yellow beams of the head lights. Sokka shook in his seat fully awake now.

"Please don't kill me!" He screamed as Ranger reached for something in the folds of his cloak. To Sokka's surprise he brought out the bell that he'd gotten from Gollum and left on his bed.

"You kind of left this at your apartment. Besides we need to talk." Ranger said lowering the bell. As he did the metal ball on it's chain inside clinked against the sides. Then from behind him opened a purple black rift in the air! Sokka's eyes widened in horror as out of it began crawling dozens of monsters!

"Look out behind you!" He shouted!

Ranger whirled around, drawing out his ever trusty pistols! Ranger opened fire without mercy, blood spraying from freshly opening wounds on the creature's hides! He emptied his weapons into the creature's, tossed his guns into the air, threw a pair of clips into the ammo slots, caught them and fired of a pair of head shots into the last one standing.

He smirked and picked up the bell.

"Well, let's see what you've got." He said raising it to shoulder level.

"Don't ring it again!" Sokka shouted!

To late, Ranger rang the bell and another portal opened. Out of it crawled a massive bone white creature with black spiky strands coming out of it's back forming a pair of odd wings. It had no eyes or mouth but it roared still.

"MUST DESTROY TWILIGHT WARRIORS!!" It shouted. Ranger frowned.

"Didn't you die in Fanfiction May Cry 3?" He asked.

"FOOL!! YOU HAVEN'T WRITTEN THAT PARODY YET!!" It roared in answer.

"Oh right." Ranger said nodding. Then he yanked out his sword as the creature tried to crush him with a massive fist! He slashed with his sword and looped off the hand. The creature howled in pain and threw it's other fist at Ranger who slashed the fingers off! It roared in and blood spewing from it's new stumps! It then tried to body slam Ranger but Ranger stabbed the blade straight into the chest of the monster!

Blood sprayed out as Ranger let go of the sword and it held the creature in place. He pulled out his pistols.

"Next time, stay dead." Ranger said.

Then he opened fire bloody holes being ripped into the creature's chest! As he continued shooting the sun rose. The creature's skin boiled and melted. Ranger yanked out his sword and it fell dead.

"Worst funeral ever." Ranger said dryly.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

That afternoon the two were back in the dinner. Ranger already had a shake in front of him.

"And that's the whole story." Ranger said.

"That didn't make any sense what so ever." Sokka said rather confused.

"That is why you'll never be the main protagonist." Ranger replied.

At that moment Suki set an identical shake down in front of Sokka.

"There you go, one drink guaranteed to not make you sing the beer song." Suki said smiling.

"Are you nuts?" Ranger proclaimed.

"Well normal people don't sit around and drink." Suki replied.

"Oh, you have no idea!" He said standing up! "Ready normal people?"

Suddenly Peter Griffen, Chris Griffen, Homer Simpson, Axel, Demyx, Church, Tucker, Grif, and Jiriya. Suki blinked in surprise.

"Ready!" All shouted. Ranger pulled out his pistol. Axel hit the juke box.

Ranger: "_Oh what is the mother of liquor? _

_What get's you drunker quicker? _

_What comes in bottles or in cans?"_

All: _"BEER!" _

Ranger: _"Can't get enough of it!"_

All: _"BEER!"_

Ranger: _"Can't refuse it!"_

All: "_BEER!" _

Ranger: "_Makes me feel like a man!"_

All: _"BEER!"_

Ranger: _"I could kiss and hug it! _

_But I'd rather chug it! _

_Fill my belly up to here!" _

Ranger continued raising his pistol into the air.

All: _"BEER!"_

Ranger: "_I can not refuse a…"_

All: "_Beer! Beer! Beer!" _

"_Beer. Beer. Beer. Beer. Beer. Beer."_ They all chanted as one until Peter and Chris stepped forward.

Chris: _"I can't remember,_

_How much I have had._

_I drank a twelve pack,_

_With my dad."_

Peter: _"That's my son the drunkin manly stud._

_I'm proud to be his bud."_

Chris: _"Here have some pretzels."_

Peter_: "No, _

_I'll call it quits._

_Those things give me the shlitz."_

They all laughed.

All: _"Drink with your family,_

_Drink with your friends."_

Ranger: _"Drink 'till you're fat,_

_Stomach distends. _

_Beer is liquid bread it's good for you."_

All: "_We like to Drink 'till we spew! _

_OH! Who cares if we get fat?"_

Grif_: "I'll drink to that!"_

All: _As we sing once more…"_

Ranger: "_Oh! What is the mother of liquer? _

_What get's you drunker quicker? _

_What comes in bottles or in cans?"_

All: _"BEER!"_

Ranger: _"Can't get enough of it!" _

All: "_BEER!" _

Ranger: _"Can't refuse it!" _

All: _"BEER!"_

Ranger: _"Make's me feel like a man!" _

All: _"BEER!"_

Ranger: _"I could kiss and hug it! _

_But I'd rather chug it! _

_Fill my belly up to here!" _

All: _"BEER!"_

Ranger: _"I need you to,_

_Give it to me! _

_Speed it to me!" _

Then he got down on one knee pistol raised high in the air!

Ranger: _"THE MOST WONDERFUL DRINK IN THE WORLD!!"_

All: _"BEER! HOORAY!!"_

Then Ranger fired his pistol into the ceiling and several of the others belched. Pop's came out of the kitchen and glanced at the ceiling.

"You have to pay for that you know." He said.

* * *

**Ranger24: Please note that I don't drink. I'm to young. But the song is just to much fun to resist. The "Beer song", by Weird Al Vohanic. Next time we learn why it's best to leave washed up singers in rehab. Next chapter; Rock Queen. Read and review. **


	10. Chapter 9: Rock queen part 1

**Ranger24: Here we go new chapter! Also updating Battlestar, Author fighters: Demon from heaven and Naruto tonight.**

* * *

Chapter 9: Rock queen: Part 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Three years ago…

Out in the middle of a street a large crowd was gathered listening to a band playing on the streets and having one hell of a good time. The lead singer, a young woman with black hair and Dark eyes began to sing.

_Did you hear what I said? _

_Did you get what I meant?_

The crowd was going nuts as the tempo picked up!

"_We're going nowhere, holding nothing,_

_That is what I feel!"_

In the crowd a young man with a fire ball shaped scar smiled as he watched the song play through and the singer having the time of her life.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Present day…

Something searched through a dark room filled with old vinel records and CD's. It looked female but was scalely and held a torch between it's teeth. It showed no concern for the number of records or CD's it broke in it's search.

"Hey what's going on in here?" Shouted a security guard who came in with a flash light.

The creature growled at him and he took a step back. It dropped the torch and the torch rolled onto several record cases. The guard was now scared shitless.

"I'm warning you! I've got a mag lite!" He said panicking.

Before he could do anything it took a swipe at him with clawed fingers! Blood sprayed and the cried out in pain as he fell. The creature then rose up to its full height and gave a terrifying feral laugh! Behind it the shop caught fire.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Back at Fanfiction May cry a new CD slipped into place on the jukebox and a few seconds later the heavy Alternative rock chords began to play. Ranger was doing what he always did when he wasn't working, eating, or having fun. He was sleeping, or pretending to sleep while TSS looked through Ranger's financial records. He sighed looking more than a little annoyed.

"My god Ranger, every time I show up you're deeper and deeper in debt!" TSS said annoyed.

"Hey I get go jobs, just not enough." Ranger replied a little irritated.

"Ranger you don't even put the money you earn to paying your debts you just spend it on pizza, ice cream, and ammo. Maybe you should get a part time job or auction off some of this junk." TSS said getting irritated himself.

As he did the jukebox suddenly got stuck on the CD. Ranger groaned got up and walked over to the jukebox.

"Piece of shit." He growled kicking it.

Unfortunatly he accidently triggered his boot knives and the knife stabbed into the jukebox! It groaned and came to a stop entirely.

"AWW CRAP!!" Ranger shouted exasperated.

Ten minutes later TSS was looking at the jukebox while Ranger kept brooding. At that moment Lilo and Stitch came in.

"Hey Ranger, high TSS." Lilo said.

Then she noticed the jukebox.

"What happened to the jukebox?" Lilo asked.

"Take a guess." TSS growled.

Lilo and Stitch both groaned.

"Ranger broke the Jukebox again!" Lilo said incredulous.

"Yeah you're almost to violent for your own good." TSS added.

"Not my fault." Ranger said quickly.

Lilo was looking rather annoyed now but she then noticed a single CD in a framed case.

"Ranger why is this CD framed?" She asked.

"I played that one more than any other. But it scratched, I couldn't bring myself to throw it away." Ranger answered.

"Why didn't you get a new one?" Lilo asked.

"Take a look." Ranger said.

Lilo frowned scrutinizing the CD. She then realized the entire top was scratched off.

"Case is gone, and the top scratched off. I don't even remember who wrote the songs on it."

"Well now the juke box is broken." Lilo said frowning.

"Hey!' Ranger said.

"Doesn't matter, the thing was about to fall apart." TSS said.

"What's the prognosis?" Ranger asked.

"It's in need of some replacement parts, that or you'll have to replace it." TSS said.

"I don't have the money." Ranger replied.

TSS sighed and walked over to pile of papers.

"Okay Ranger, I wasn't going to give you this one I was going to take it myself but you need money and I am in no mood!" TSS said.

"What's the story my counter Terrorist friend?" Ranger asked.

"A couple of guys found a warehouse full of vintage CD's and records, they had songs you couldn't find on itunes." TSS explained.

"Like the battlestar Galactica remake of All along the Watch Tower?" Ranger asked.

"Yeah, only thing is they need a bodyguard. The question is, why do these guys need a bodyguard? I want you to find out." TSS finished.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Later that night at the warehouse a bunch of guys were carrying several large and heavy crates. Ranger was standing next to leader of the group, a guy named Zuko.

"Thanks for coming on such short notice Mr. 24. Shadow Syndicate did say you were the best in the business." Zuko said.

"My pleasure." Ranger said taking a sip from the coco that had been made for the group.

"So why do you guys need a bodyguard?" He asked.

"In this business there are a lot of people who would kill for antiques." Zuko replied.

"Hey Zuko put something on would ya?" Said one of the guys named Duncan.

"Yeah liven this place up!" Said another named Geoff.

Zuko shrugged.

"Okay." He said pulling out a CD case. Ranger the recognized the CD. It was the same that he had framed.

"What's that?" he asked.

"Oh this?" Zuko said smiling. "This is something kinda, written by Mai."

He put it into a boom box and the music began to play. Ranger instantly recognized the song. It was the same he'd heard on the framed CD.

"Kinda catchy. He said as the singing started. He noted several red lights forming at the windows.

"Yeah. She was great." Zuko said lost in a bit of memory.

_Did you hear what I said? _

_Did you get what I ment?_

Ranger sighed. "Well time to go to work."

He then pulled out his pistols. The guys glanced at the windows and realized their trouble as dozens of red lights gathered at the windows. Many pulled out hand guns and Zuko moved to turn off the jukebox.

"No." Ranger said stopping Zuko.

"Let it play." He added flicking his safeties off and smirking.

"You've gotta have music if you want to party!" Ranger shouted as the glass shattered and in poured hundreds of small reptilian creature's right as the song picked up!

"_We're going nowhere, holding nothing,_

_That is what I feel!"_

The treasure hunters opened fire with their pistols and killed a few of the creatures but it was six against over one hundred! One nearly slashed off a guy named Trent's face. Another pair had a large Jamaican Canadian guy named DJ on the run. One leapt on a large guy named Owen's shoulder and bite him on the shoulder! He yelled in pain only to have the creature shot off! Ranger joined the fight both guns blazing killing anything that got near the treasure hunters.

Suddenly the entire group of creatures leaped on him! The treasure hunters looked on helplessly! Then bullet's shot out at all points and blood sprayed from the creatures! Then they all fell off dead and he was completely unharmed. Then he turned to the windows where the creature from the music store was hovering.

It glared at him and hurled a series of darts at them all! Everyone dove for cover as the darts obliterated everything in their path. Zuko was thrown to the ground in the blast and the creature swooped in. It paused when it saw his face.

"Mai?" He whispered.

Suddenly Ranger came at the creature with his sword and the monster retreated after the first stroke. Ranger stood there in the midst of the bodies, blood, broken wood, shattered records, and knife stabbed CD's. The song ended finally. To the shock of everyone he was grinning from ear to ear.

"That was the best Mosh pit ever!" He shouted gleefully.

* * *

**Ranger24: Ah another great chapter. If you don't know all of the guys except Zuko were from Total Drama Island. Next time everything gets explained and I kick even more ass! Read and review my friends.**


	11. Chapter 10: Rock queen part 2

**Ranger24: Sorry it took so long to put up this chapter, I got lost on the little merry-go-round we call life. But here is the badass you've been waiting for.**

* * *

Chapter 10: Rock queen part 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Later outside the warehouse paramedics were tending to the wounded. Zuko was having a bandage wrapped around his forehead while Ranger stood next to him, leaning against a wall.

"So you mind telling me what the hell that was all about?" Ranger asked.

Zuko sighed and pulled out a small photo.

"I guess I might as well tell you. That was defiantly Mai" He said handing Ranger the photo.

Ranger took it, the photo was of Zuko, three other guys, and a woman with jet black hair that looked just like the monster he'd faced off against back in the warehouse.

"You see," Zuko explained going into a flashback showing himself and Mai in front of a worn out pawn shop with a guitar in the window.

"_She had a great singing voice and she was interested in taking up a career in music."_ Zuko narrated.

Zuko is later seen giving Mai the guitar that was in the window. To his surprise she hugs him.

"_I wanted to help her any way I could, so I helped her pull a band together."_ Zuko continued.

Zuko introduces Mai to the other three guys in the picture.

"_Pretty soon we were putting on shows in the street. Meanwhile I made all the business calls trying to get a record deal."_ Zuko said.

Zuko is seen being turned down by many business men.

"_Things started to get a little strained between me and Mai."_ Zuko said.

Zuko and Mai can be seen arguing about something.

"_Then out of the blue some recording studio agreed to sell a some of her songs."_

Zuko and Mai can be seen practically throwing a party out of joy.

"_But then, I guess the fame started to go to her head. Something was changing with her until finally…"_

"_You guys broke up?"_ Ranger finished for him.

"_Yeah."_ Zuko muttered. _"But then weird stuff started happening to the people who were listening to her songs."_

Mai realsizes all her fans are acting like zombies! She screams runs into her dressing room and locks the door.

"_And then it happened." _Zuko whispered.

Mai slumped to the floor in front of the mirrored door of the dressing rooms closet.

"What the hell is going on?" She whispered.

"You been taken over by me!" Said a horrifying female voice. Mai whirled around to face the mirror and saw a horrifying scalely version of her own face.

"Who the hell are you!?" Mai screamed. She tried to run but her body wouldn't move.

"I am music's second greatest evil!" The face proclaimed!

"Wait then who's first?" Mai asked confused.

"Micheal Jackson." The face deadpanned as the hair turned dirty blonde. "It is I! Brittney SPEARS!"

Then suddenly Mai lost complete control of her body and broke out into a horrid song!

Mai/Brittney Spears: "_OPPS I did it again! _

_I played with your heart! _

_Got lost in my game! _

_Oh baby baby! _

_Opps I did it again!_

Back to present Ranger looked at Zuko horrified.

"Dear lord why didn't you call me sooner?!" Ranger asked.

"Didn't know anyone could kill that horror." Zuko said sadly.

"Then come on." Ranger said dragging Zuko to his feet and handing him his 9mm.

"Tell your team to get ready for round two with those freaks! We aren't leaving until Brittney Spears is dead!" Ranger proclaimed.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Later back inside the warehouse Ranger, Zuko, and Zuko's team stood in the main building. Everyone was armed for trouble.

"So what's the plan?" Trent asked.

"Well here's how I see it. Did anyone notice she didn't show up until Zuko started playing Mai's song?" Ranger asked.

Everyone nodded.

"Yeah what about it?" Asked Duncan.

"I'm thinking that Brittney is trying to ensure she has full control over Mai's body by destroying any connections she had to her life before." Ranger said.

"That explains why the music attracted her." Geoff said.

Ranger nodded.

"And that's how we'll lure her out." He said.

"And then what?" Asked Owen.

Ranger smirked pulling out his pistols and flicking the safeties off.

"Then we give her a warm reception."

Zuko brought out the boom box and set it up on a crate.

"Protect the boom box." Ranger order Trent, Duncan, Owen, Geoff and DJ.

Zuko brought out the CD but didn't put it in the boom box.

"Ranger, is it possible she's still in there?" Zuko asked.

Ranger sighed.

"The woman you knew is probably long gone, seeing as how girls can't share anything not even an apartment. After a few weeks, they all hate each other and someone gets stuck with a massive phone bill." Ranger said. "Even if there was anything left of her she'd be too weak to overpower Britteny, and I'm no exorcist."

Zuko nodded.

"I see."

Zuko nodded and put the cd in the boom box and hit play. The music slowly started to fill the room and Ranger brought out the guitar bag.

"Now we wait." He whispered.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC **

The music was carried up high into the buildings attic. There the tiny shred of Mai's mind stirred she was able to get her body moving again, if only to push herself off the floor.

"That's my… song." She whispered.

"Yes," Brittney's mind said rapidly over whelming Mai's control.

"They've stolen our music, your music." She said to Mai, her voice hissing.

They rose to their feet and began walking towards the stairs that lead to the lower levels.

"Don't you want it back?" She hissed again.

"Y-yes." Mai's feeble mind whispered.

"Good." Brittney hissed as they started down the stares. The facial features became more feral and their teeth became fangs.

"So let's kill them." Brittney said. "And kill them! And kill some more!" She proclaimed cackling insanely!

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Less than a minute later Ranger's M6C flashed as he fired at at Brittney who jumped back to avoid the bullets! She hissed at him and charged him as he pulled his desert eagle and began blasting at her! The two guns hurled rounds at her but she dodged them barring her fangs! She jumped at him ready to rip his throat out! Ranger jumped back at the last second however and unzipped the guitar case. With a flourish he brought out his sword and swung it down into his ready grip.

"Come on bitch! I'm just starting to enjoy myself!" Ranger proclaimed.

She hissed and charged him again! She slashed at him with her claws but Ranger blocked with his sword! She snarled attacking him again and again but he blocked everyone of her attacks. She tried to bite him again but he back stepped and slashed her again! This time he hit home. She was able to block the sword but was thrown back by the force of Ranger's blow! She crashed into the wooden floor panels and pulled herself to her feet.

Then she jumped into the air and transformed into some freaky flying mermaid thing, with claws, gills, fangs, and cat like slits for pupils. Ranger gave a whistle.

"So that's what she looks like without the makeup." Ranger muttered.

Meanwhile Zuko stood next to the boom box as Mai's song played and the others kept guard. A single tear ran down his face from his good eye.

"Please Mai, don't do this." He whispered.

Even as he did so Brittney sent a wave of quill like darts flying at Ranger! Ranger spun his sword like a helicopter prop and deflected all of the quills. Ranger then jumped at her and slashed her across the chest!

"TIME TO WAKE UP GIRL!" Ranger shouted his eyes flashing red and black marks snaking down his arms and up his neck! He stabbed the sword clean through Brittney and two seprate beings separated from the creature. One was exactly the same as the monster but the other was Mai, her skin pale white from lack of sun light.

"Mai!" Zuko shouted running over to her.

She moaned and rolled onto her side looking ill. Zuko helped her up into a sitting position.

"Z-zuko?" She whispered. She hugged him but then Brittney roared! They looked up to see her towering over them!

"I'll kill you both!" She howled!

"I don't think so! EAT SWORD!!" Ranger shouted before hurling his sword straight through Brittney's neck and pinning her to the wall.

Suddenly that leave Brittney alone chick came in.

"LEAVE BRITTNEY ALONE! LEAVE HER ALONE!" She screamed at Ranger who rolled his eyes, pulled out his M6C and shot her in the head.

"Shut up." He growled.

To his surprise she got right back up still screaming.

"LEAVE BRITTNEY ALONE! LEAVE HER ALONE!" She howled.

Ranger shot her right arm off.

"LEAVE BRITTNEY ALONE! LEAVE HER ALONE! LEAVE BRITTNEY SPEARS ALONE! LEAVE HER ALONE!"

Ranger shot her left arm off.

"LEAVE BRITTNEY ALONE! LEAVE HER ALONE! LEAVE BRITTNEY SPEARS ALONE! LEAVE HER ALONE! SHE'S A GREAT SINGER AND JUST WANT'S HER KIDS BACK!"

Ranger shot her right leg off.

"LEAVE BRITTNEY ALONE! LEAVE HER ALONE! LEAVE BRITTNEY SPEARS ALONE! LEAVE HER ALONE! SHE'S A GREAT SINGER AND JUST WANT'S HER KIDS BACK! LEAVE HER ALONE YOU SON OF A BITCH!!

Ranger shot her left leg off.

"LEAVE BRITTNEY ALONE! LEAVE HER ALONE! LEAVE BRITTNEY SPEARS ALONE! LEAVE HER ALONE! SHE'S A GREAT SINGER AND JUST WANT'S HER KIDS BACK! LEAVE HER ALONE YOU SON OF A BITCH!! SHE NEVER WANTED THIS MUCH ATTENTION! SHE'S A GREAT PERSON!!"

Ranger shot her in the gut.

"LEAVE BRITTNEY ALONE! LEAVE HER ALONE! LEAVE BRITTNEY SPEARS ALONE! LEAVE HER ALONE! SHE'S A GREAT SINGER AND JUST WANT'S HER KIDS BACK! LEAVE HER ALONE YOU SON OF A BITCH!! SHE NEVER WANTED THIS MUCH ATTENTION! SHE'S A GREAT PERSON!! SHE'S NOT A HORRIBLE PARENT! LEAVE BRITTNEY ALONE! SHE'S BETTER THAN PARIS HILTON!!!"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP!!!! THEY'R BOTH F*CKING WHORES!!!!!" Ranger howled pulling out both of his pistols and unloading every last round in his magazines into the freakshow. Blood flew everywhere as her skin was ripped apart! Ranger reloaded and kept shooting. Then he reloaded again, and again, and again, and again, until the annoying little bitch was a pile of dust and blood. Ranger wiped some sweat off his forehead.

"Thank god that's over." He muttered.

"Leave Brittney alone…" Came a whisper from dust before flourished his cloak blowing the dust particles away.

"Now it's over." He said with finality.

Then he turned to face Brittney Spears whose blood was now all over Ranger's sword. He'd stabbed her right through the jugular. Mai glanced at the monstrosity that had ruined her life for the past year.

"Send that bitch back to rehab." Mai said with evident exhaustion. Ranger grinned.

"I'll do one better and send her to hell!" Ranger proclaimed yanking the sword out and slicing Brittney's head in half. What was left of her mangled body slid to the floor covering it in a wide pool of blood. Ranger smiled glancing back at Zuko and Mai.

"Now about that CD…" Ranger started.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

The next day at Fanfiction May Cry the jukebox was working again. A new CD was on the list and as Lilo swept the floor she noticed the framed record had been replaced by a brand new copy with case along with it.

Mai: _Did you hear what I said?_

_Did you get what I meant? _

She glanced at Ranger who was lying on the couch drinking a Gatorade and close to sleeping. He set down the bottle and opened one eye smiling at Lilo.

"Hail to the rock Queen." Ranger said happily.

* * *

**Ranger24: And that's the chapter. Yeah I couldn't resist killing the leave Brittney alone chick, it was too much fun not to. Next time, Mission number 7: Wishes come true. Read and review my friends!**


	12. It's a wonderfull fanfiction

**Ranger24: Hi everyone this is my very own Christmas speacil. Entitled It's a wonderful Fanfiction.**

* * *

It's a wonderful Fanfiction

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Christmas at Fanfiction may Cry. One would at first expect it to be sparsely decorated. Well whoever thinks that needs to take another look.

On the door was large wreath, the archway over the door cover in Christmas lights. The windows, normally dark and slightly depressing, were light up like a dutch brothel. Garlen lined the inside of the windows as both decorative and to keep out the cold.

Inside the shop was as of yet unchanged except for several large boxes in the middle of the room and Ranger standing in the midst of them holding a pair of nail guns.

Lilo stood by the juke box wearing a world war 2 british helmet for safety. Stitch had the same type of helmet on only he was hiding behind the sofa.

"Ready?" Lilo asked cautiously.

Ranger nodded.

Lilo quickly pressed down on the play button on the jukebox and dove behind it as heavy cords began to bang their way out of the speakers. Not exactly festive but they got Ranger's focus.

He kicked open one of the box's and threw several stockings into the air. He brought up the nail guns and hammered of three nails, pinning the stockings over the TV seeing as how they didn't have a fireplace.

Then he yanked out of another box several yards of garlandand threw them towards the stair rail! Before they could fall he opened fire with the nail guns again and stuck the nails in place. The garland fell peacefully into place.

Then Ranger pulled out a box of nut crackers and, quick as a flash, he set them up on every conivable place to set one down. There were long lines of nut crackers with rifles, swords, banners, scepters, drums, tools, bags of Christmas presents, and the occasional hunter.

Then Ranger rushed back to the boxes and brought out a large Christmas tree and quickly set it up. Before anyone could blink he was fitting ornaments into place, running a string of red beads from top to bottom, and slapping a golden spire into place at the top of the tree.

Then he yanked out a wreath, bringing up the nail gun again. He threw it towards the bathroom door and fired a nail perfectly through the wreath and it stuck in the door and gave just enough space for the wreath to land comfortably.

Then he pulled out a festive doormat and threw it towards the door before grabbing a box of mixed Christmas decorations and rushed up the stairs to the small kitchen. Setting them out quickly he then matled over the railing and came down right in his desk chair. He leaned back and slapped his feet down on the desk.

"Time." He said.

Lilo came out of cover holding a stop watch, turning off the jukebox.

"1 minute 35 seconds."

Ranger laughed. "New record."

At that moment TSS came through the door covered in snow.

"Sup Shadow?" Ranger asked pulling out a bottle of water and downing it all in one go.

"I told you not to call me that." TSS snaped.

"Sorry." Ranger replied.

TSS sighed and sat down on the couch.

"I hate to give you a job two days from Christmas and all but this can't wait." TSS said.

"What is it?" Ranger asked.

"There's been an attack on the south side of town. Theres some freak attacking people down there, freezing them alive, those that aren't frozen alive enter a strange depression. Some even go suicidal. City council wants it dealt with now. Pays pretty good to." TSS said walking over to the desk.

"Some nuts making people want to end their lives? That's just wrong. I'll take care of it right now." Ranger said standing up and grabbing his cloak. He was now also wearing a longer sleeved green shirt. He grabbed his sword from behind his desk and walked over the TSS.

"Lilo, don't mess the place up. Stitch, make sure she doesn't mess the place up. Lilo, make sure Stitch makes sure you don't mess the place up. I'll be back in a bit." Ranger said over his shoulder as he opened the door letting in a blast of cold air.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Ranger's mongoose came to a halt by a snow drift. All about him in this area of town there were signs of adverse times. People sat on street corners or on doorsteps with down cast faces. Ranger frowned and walked his way down the street.

An old begger man stumbled out of an alley. He glanced at Ranger and smiled waving.

"Merry Christmas." The man said.

Ranger smiled and was about to reply when a loud banging sound caught his attention. The old man turned to the alley across the street and gave a scream!

Out of the alley shot a massive serpentine female shape. It had black hair and red eyes and hissed violently as it shot towards the old man.

Before it could attack though a round form one of Ranger's pistol caught it in the side! It crashed to the ground and hissed angrily. Ranger walked forward guns raised. Nobody accept the old man seemed to care for what was going on.

"You really chose a bad time to show your ugly face." Ranger said.

"So you're the slayer who has killed so many of my brethren in this area." The monster hissed back.

"Oh my god. You can talk." Ranger said rolling his eyes. "Tell you what, I'm in a good mood. You get the hell out of here and never come back and I'll let you live."

"Who about I just kill you instead!" The creature roared lunging at him! Ranger opened fire jumping back! Blood sprayed from the creatures shoulders and it was flung back into the snow.

Ranger charged forward now drawing his sword hoping to make a quick kill and this job fast.

Suddenly the monster sprang up and before he could counter it crashed into him and pinned him against the street with its claws. Ranger snarled and kicked it in the side releasing his boot knife but the blade snapped off and fell into the snow useless. He tried to push the monster off but it was to strong.

It cackled with delight at his attempts to gain the upper hand.

"Human's are so much fun. How your kind squirm."

Ranger bit it's arm and it howled in pain releasing him. He brought up his legs and mule kicked it in the chest. He tried to push himself up but it smashed him back to the ground by his arms. It's eyes were red with wrath.

"That defiance. That will to fight in your race is so annoying." Then she smirked.

"And so delicious." She whispered.

Suddenly Ranger felt a pain in his chest as though something were being pulled out of him. He cried out in pain as a bright sliver light emerged from his mouth and the creature snapped it up.

Then a wave of exhaustion over whelmed him. Then came the despair, the hopelessness, the grief, the emptiness.

"What did you do to me?" He whispered with out any conviction. There was no defiance, no passion, no strength, no grit behind his words.

"I took your will. Now you are nothing!" The creature said cackeling before it leapt off him and still cackleing flew away.

Ranger just lay there in the snow, an empty shell.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Back at Fanfiction May Cry some of Ranger's friends were arriving. David, Chibi, Nukid, and Ace were all at the front door.

"Hey Ranger open up!" David shouted.

The door opened to reveal Lilo and TSS.

"Sorry guys Ranger's out on a job." TSS said.

"Well when's he going to get back?" Chibi asked.

TSS shrugged. "I don't know he's running…"

Suddenly there came a scream from down the street. Everyone whirled around to see the monster Ranger had just fought coming straight at them! Ace brought up her rocket launcher and opened fire! The missile smashed into the creature but it didn't slow it's charge!

Out of the way!" Nukid shouted and everyone dove to the ground and the creature rushed over them before turning to face.

"What the hell is this thing?" David asked raising his shield sword.

"No idea, but it's gone and pissed me off." TSS said raising his MP5.

Chibi brought out her staff and Ace reloaded her rocket launcher.

"Let's make this quick." Nukid said going into a fighting stance.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

As Ranger lay there in the snow the void inside him grew larger and larger. He felt as though everything he had done was pointless, that nobody cared for anything he'd done. He almost wanted to cry but he was to sober to even let a tear fall. Why was he even on fanfiction? All he'd ever done was write stories nobody cared about and cause arguments.

Slowly he reached into his pistol holster's and pulled out his M6C Magnum. The safety was already off. He brought the pistol up to his head and was about to pull the trigger.

"Hold it right there boy." Said a strong but gruff voice.

Ranger pushed himself up and looked behind him. Standing there was an Elite or sanghelli iin snow white armor with golden highlights.

"Who the hell are you?" He muttered.

"I am you're guardian Arbiter Ranger24. My name is Fusa'rona." The elite replied.

Ranger blinked in confusion.

"Guardian Arbiter?"

"Sure! Everyone on Fanfiction has one, they just don't know it!" Fusa'rona said laughing.

"What are you doing here?" Ranger asked although right now he hardly felt like he cared.

"I am here to fix you back up Ranger24, AKA the Prince of Badass." Fusa'rona said reaching forth a hand to Ranger. "Come there is much you must see."

Ranger groaned and allowed the Elite to pull him to his feet. Suddenly the snow began to pass through his body and there was a flash of white light. Ranger shut his eyes to keep from being blinded.

When he opened them he found they were in what looked like a crazy fangirls horrible attempts to write a fanfic with an actual plot.

"Where the hell are we?" Ranger asked.

"This is Fanfiction if you hadn't shown up." Fusa said as he began to walk down the street. Ranger quickly rushed after him.

"What the hell happened?" Ranger asked glancing about at the poorly maintained buildings, the jnk lying in the streets, and other things that made the place look like something out of a third world country.

"Without someone to keep the fangirls back they overwhelmed fanfiction. The whole place went straight to hell from there." Fusa replied.

"But what about David or Chibi, they hate fangirls as much as me." Ranger said watching as several fangirls grabbed a random guy off the street and dragged him screaming into a hotel.

"Well…" Fusa said as another flash of white light emersed them.

When they came out they found a guy in black coat sitting by the street sighed with an empty bottle of booze in his hands.

"What the hell? David!" Ranger shouted looking horror struck at his friend.

"He kept failing at Final fanfiction VII. He kept losing confidence because the sueauthors kept demanding they put him in the story so he gave up on it." Fusa said sadly.

"And Chibi?" Ranger asked.

"Look over there." Fusa said pointing over at a group of fangirls kicking a random female character to death. To Ranger's horror one of them had pig tails.

"Oh lord no." Ranger whispered.

"Without someone to point out that Yaoi was disgusting from a guys perspective and with out red vs blue Chibi became a fangirl and then a mary sue."

Ranger nearly gagged on this idea.

"What about Nukid and TSS? They're probably better without me, Nukid could finally finish Assassin's Creed." He asked.

"Well no." Fusa said as another blast of white light engulfed them. They came out at a run down cyber café where Ranger could see both of them sitting at opposite sides of the room. Nukid's face was down cast as he checked the reviews of a story.

"What the hell?" Ranger asked again.

"You were one of the first people to review Nukid's stories. Reviews give writer's confidence and without that Nukid was crushed into writing Disney stories that have been done forty times already." Fusa said watching as Nukid slumped over his computer.

"You suck! Burn in hell! Who taught you how to write a monkey?" An angry voice shouted.

Ranger turned to look at TSS who was typing furiously.

"What on earth?" He whispered.

"Everyone began to consider him a flamer. As such he became one." Fusa said sadly. "There is another thing you should see."

There was another flash of light and Ranger realized they were at Ace's place.

"What the? Where's Ace?" Ranger asked glancing about for his… Friend who was a girl. Okay, girl friend.

"You never got a fanfiction account and thus she never had a real urge to update her stories. Her account remained empty and her fics unwritten." Fusa said.

Ranger searched his mind for anything that might confirm his current self thoathing.

"What about the Author fighters? All I did was cause fights and arguments." Ranger said.

Fusa sighed. "Do you really need to know?" He asked.

"Just show me." Ranger dead panned.

There was another flash of light and they were in a cemetery at night. The wind was howling and the snow fell down from the tree's.

"What is this place?" Ranger asked.

"Look over there." Fusa said pointing over to a cluster of headstones.

Ranger walked over to them and brushed some snow from the names. Then he took a step back horrified.

'Here lies Hikari Ino died March 2008.'

"What the hell is this!" Ranger shouted running to the next grave. He brushed it off to reveal the name.

'Iron Mantis died March 2008.'

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" Ranger shouted brushing off the next grave.

'Juleit Gamer Died March 2008.'

"How did this happen?" Ranger asked running to the next grave.

'Here lies Airnaruto45 Died March 2008.'

"No." He whispered falling down into the snow. The crunch of snow told him that Fusa was walking up beside him.

"When DM was taken over by Drake you weren't there to lead the rescue mission. Darth Ben Valor lead the attack but they got slaughtered. They walked clean into an ambush. Nobody made it out alive." Fusa said.

"But Hikari set DM free of Drakes control!" Ranger shouted.

"Look at the next grave." Fusa said pointing to the next one.

Ranger brushed it off.

'Here lies Darkmagicainmon died March 2008.'

"How?" He whispered in a shakey voice.

"Hikari was able to free him but by that time it was to late. Everyone got slaughtered." Fusa said.

Ranger was silent staring at the tombstones.

"You are a piece of Fanfiction now. And right now Fanfiction needs you." Fusa said.

"I can't beat that thing." Ranger whispered.

"Yes you can. You are Ranger24 the last twilight warrior who walks free! The Prince of Badass! The asshole that pwn's noncannon pairings that are over used! The weilder of the Dragon's Maw, the Twilight fang, the Moon sword! The green death of Fangirls! The slayer of sues and stews! The Demon from Heaven!" Fusa shouted making Ranger stand up and turn about.

"How am I supposed to kill!? Bullet won't slay it, I can't fight it up close!" Ranger shouted back.

"The creature feeds on the will of it's victims. Your will has made it stronger. But your will can break it!" Fusa said.

"How?" Ranger asked.

"Your Darkside can Answer that question for you! There is only one you! Only you have your drive, your strength, your mercilessness, your adituted, your mind, you and only you can control your own power." Fusa said and Ranger finally thought he understood what Fusa meant.

"Take me back." Ranger said. Then a smirk crossed his face. "I need to kick that bitches ass."

The elite laughed a guttural deep laugh. "I've been waiting for you to say that!"

In a flash of light they were back in the street and Ranger was on his feet.

"You know what to do." The elite said.

Ranger nodded.

"Thank you." Ranger said giving the elite a respectfull node. The elite chuckled.

"Don't thank me. Happy holidays!" The Elite said as he vanished in a flash of light.

Ranger brought his hand to the hilt of his sword and drew it out the silver blue crescent moon at the hilt glimmered in the light reflected off the snow.

Then he heard screams in the distance and he scowled raising his sword.

"Time to finish this." He growled.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Back at Fanfiction May Cry Chibi collapsed to the ground face pale. The creature roared in delight as it snapped up her will Nukid was already slumped against the steps face down cast. David charged the creature swinging his shield sword but the creature caught the blow in it's teeth! Then it sucker punched David in the gut sending him crashing into the snow!

TSS and Ace opened fire with their guns but the rounds were more like a mosquito trying to bite you. It cackled before charging them and TSS's MP5 clicked empty.

"Shit! Cover!" He snarled diving out of the way.

Ace held her ground firing her 9mm and Skorpion sub machine gun. The monster shrugged off the hits and swatted the guns out of her hands. With nothing else for it Ace socked it in the eye and jumped back. The creature howled before charging her again. She tired to pull the same stunt but she was up against a wall. She reached for her .45 but there was no way she could get off a shot in time.

Suddenly two round struck the creature in the side! The rounds exploded and it howled in agony turning to face the newcomer. Ace looked to where the shots had come from.

"You know, you should really kill you enemies instead of incapacitating them." Ranger said pistols raised.

"You!?" It hissed in confusion and anger. "I sucked your will?!"

"Doesn't seem like that to me!" Ranger said before shooting again!

The creature rushed him trying to dodge the bullets. At the last second he side stepped and the creature crashed head first into a street lamp with a clang. It howled in pain before turning to face him.

"Come on. That all you've got?" Ranger asked putting away his pistols and drawing the Moon sword.

"Insolent punk!" It snarled before charging him again!

This time he jumped over it and slashed it across the back! The sword cut through the hardened flesh and it howled in pain!

Ranger landed a turned around and with a flourish sent specks of dark blood splattering into the snow.

"Bring it bitch! I'm just starting to have fun!" Ranger said this time charging in! The Creature roared and shot towards him! Ranger swung at it's head but the creature ducked him. Then it head butted him and knocked him to the ground. Then it lunged on him snarling it brought it'sfangs down on his right shoulder, this time for the kill!

Suddenly black symbols began to snake their way up the side of Ranger's neck and face and he grabbed the monster by the forehead. Ranger's eyes glowed blood red as he kicked the bitch off him.

She righted herself to see him on his feet. His skin was a granite grey. His hair had grown long, black, and unkempt. Out of his back, in the place of his green cloak he had two massive leathery grey wings. His hands were now long claws and dark energy seemed to radiate off him.

"What the hell?" She growled.

"Curse mark level two bitch. Now die." Ranger said raising his left fist.

"Shadow manipulation!" Ranger shouted before throwing his fist forward! Out of it shot a massive fist made out of dark energy! The monster screeched and turned to flee but was caught from behind and smashed against a wall!

Then as it rolled over to face him it got the moon sword in its gut. It coughed and spluttered globs of blood.

"Why did you just have to cause trouble at Christmas?" Ranger asked shaking his head.

"I'm a dick, what do you think?!" She snarled trying to bite him.

"No you're not a dick. I'm a dick."

"Really why thank…"

"YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!" Ranger shouted before beheading the monster. Out of its decapitated trunk flowed dozens of silver grey specks oof light which began fluttering away towards whoever they belonged. Chibi and Nukid were soon back on their feet.

"What the hell just happened?" Chibi asked as Ranger landed disengaging his curse mark.

"Eh the usual. I kicked some cocksucker's ass." Ranger replied shrugging.

"What is it with you and swearing that much." Ace said shaking her head.

Ranger shrugged and hurled a grenade at the creature's corpse. It landed and exploded.

"You know they say…"

"Don't you dare say it." David groaned.

"Every time a grenade goes off."

"Please don't say it." Chibi groaned.

"An Arbiter gets his sword." Ranger finished.

Everyone glanced at eachother.

Two minutes later.

"Oh come on guys!" Ranger shouted as they others chased him around the block.

**MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! **


	13. Chapter 11: Wishes come true part 1

**Ranger24: I RETURN! Triumphant.**

* * *

Chapter 11: Wishes come true part 1.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

By some random river a blonde guy wearing a green coat was fishing. He seemed bored shitless but he still sat there by the shallow river that ran under a bridge.

"I should really stick to children's card games," he muttered.

Then his line got a tug! He jumped to his feet and began to reel it in!

"Oh boy I hope I catch a magikarp." He said happily.

He brought it up grinning form ear to ear as the fish rose out of the water. Then his joy turned to fear. A blobby something was on the end of his line melting his fish. He dropped his fishing pole and was about to run when it spoke.

"I shall grant you a wish." It hissed.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Several days later at Fanfiction may cry Ranger sat at his desk while Lilo swept the floor and Stitch played guitar hero.

'My names Ranger,' Ranger narated over the scene. 'I'm something like a detective or a handy man. I take odd jobs. But right now I need to tell you bout this story.'

"Ranger would you stop narrating and get on with it?" Lilo snapped.

"Hey shut up." Ranger snapped. 'I didn't know it yet but one crazy case was about to start. That's when she came through my door.'

The door opened and in came a young woman with light brown hair and blue eyes.

'Her name was Serinety Wheeler and she needed my help.' Ranger contiuned.

"Seriously stop narrating it's giving me a head ache." Lilo grumbled.

"Fine!" Ranger snapped.

"I need your help sir." Serenity said.

"Doesn't everyone once in a while." Ranger muttered.

"It's my brother. He's been accused of murder, and I know he didn't do it." Serenity said.

"And you want me to prove his innocence?" Ranger asked.

"Yes." She said nodding.

"Isn't that for lawyer's to do?" Lilo asked.

"Yeah but that takes to long. Lilo describe the payement methods." Ranger said.

Lilo nodded.

"Here at the Fanfiction May Cry Detective agency we accept cash, check, credit, debit, game tokens, rare cards, and coupons." Lilo said. Serenity pulled a small ring offer her finger.

"I don't have much but here." She said placing it on the desk.

Ranger frowned and picked it up. She turned and walked out of the door before Ranger could ask her anymore.

"I don't think that'll cover it." Lilo said shacking her head.

To her suprise Ranger stood up and pocketed the ring. Then Ranger pulled on his cloak and grabbed his sword.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"I'm looking into this." Ranger muttered.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

The next day at some bar Ranger stepped inside to find it empty except for one man standing behind the bar.

"What'd you want?" The man asked gruffly.

"Choclate sundea." Ranger said walking up to the bar.

"Don't sell kid stuff here man." The bartender repleid with a chuckle.

"You know what happened to the last guy who refused to get me a choclate sundea?" Ranger said threateningly.

"I'll take a look but haven't gotten anything new in weeks. Hardly anyone every shows up here." The bartender said.

"So I guess the recent murders here doesn't help. Tell me about that and I'll give you the secret to realling in the customers." Ranger said.

The man sighed. "Look if you need to know what happened like every other person thats come here asking about it let me tell you."

**FLashback!**

_Everything goes black and white and the bartender can be seen in the back of the bar._

_'It was a quite night, the only two others here were Joey Wheeler and Tristan Taylor and they were playing darts. I'd gone around back to take out the trash.'_

_Suddenly there was a scream. _

_'I heard a scream and I ran back in side to find...'_

_The Bartender ran back inside to find the same man from standing next to a pile of bones and burning clothes which were being boiled away in a puddle of acid._

_'Tristan was being melted by acid. A Joey just kept screaming that was all his fault.'_

**Endflashback. **

"And so I called the cops and they dragged him off to jail." The bartender finished.

"So where'd they take him?" Ranger asked.

"Devil's prison." The bartender replied with a shiver.

"Ranger don't even think about going there." Came TSS voice. Ranger turned around to TSS nail a bulls-eye on the dart board.

"When did you get here?" Ranger asked.

"Lilo called me up and told me about what you're up to. Trust me Ranger you couldn't get in there if you wanted to. No visiting hours. They say that place is worse then hell." TSS said hurrling another dart into the board.

Ranger smirked.

"Well if you can't visit I guess I'll just need to get arrested." Ranger said glancing across the street at some punks tagging the wall.

"Hey wait!" The bartender said as Ranger made for the door. "What's the secret?"

"Put ice cream on the menu." Ranger replied.

Seconds later one of the punks hit the concrete blood pouring from his nose. Ranger raised his fist for another blow but instead sweep kicked one of punks. A crowd of people quickly gathered around them before several police officer's arrived and broke up the fight. They quickly hand cuffed Ranger. Ranger glanced over at TSS who frowned with some worry, Ranger smirked in response.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

"My god, with all this weaponry one has to wonder what you do Mr. 24," the Prision warden said staring at all of Ranger's weaponry. The warden was a fat man with a square mustache. Ranger stood with two guards flanking him completely disarmed and his cloak on the table.

"Oh you know I'm an exterminator of sorts." Ranger replied.

"Well here at Devil's prision we have just one rule; you don't make trouble, you don't die." The warden said as the guards dragged Ranger away.

Soon he was tossed into a cell and he sat down on the low mat. The guards closed the door and he glanced at the small talking hole across from him.

"Hey anyone there?" He asked.

"Yes." Came the shakey reply.

"You know anyone by the name of Joey Wheeler?" Ranger asked.

"I'm him." The voice.

"I need to know why you're in here." Ranger said.

"Doesn't matter, I killed Tristan as good as if I shot him in the head. Nobody believes me anyways."

Ranger smiled.

"Well we both got time to kill so tell me anyway."

Joey sighed.

"Earlier that day I'd gone fishing and found this creepy mask..."

**Flashback.**

_Joey can be seen at the scene from the begining of the chapter complete with the freaky blob._

_"I shall grant you a wish." It hissed._

_'So seeing as how I'd just been laid off from my job as a meat sheild I decided to ask for money but it flipped me off. Then I asked for chicks and it screwed me off again. Then I asked for all the trading cards in the world and it refused.' Joey narrated as his memorey self stated all those wishes and the blob flatly refused them all._

_'Pissed off I hooked up with Tristan for a guys night out.' Joey said as the scene switched to himself and Tristan how has a freaky spike shaped hair-do playing darts._

_"Ha! I win again Joey now I get you to pay for my next drink!" Tristan said happily._

_"Oh! Tristan sometimes I wish you were dead!" Joey growled. _

_'Suddenly the blob showed up again!' Joey said as the blob did such. Then it went and spat acid on Tristan who screamed as his skin burned away!_

**EndFlashback.**

Joey went in the fettle position.

"I killed him. And now we're going to die." Joey said.

Ranger smirked.

"I don't think so man, not on my watch at least."

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**Ranger24: And that's the chapter. I haven't watched this episode in a while so the writing is rough but hey we're more than halfway through the fic. Read and review.**


	14. Chapter 12: Wishes come true part 2

**Ranger24: Ah time for a new chapter. Still wondering where the reviews are for the last one though.**

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Chapter 12: Wishes come true part two.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Back at the stream it was getting dark when Ace drove up alongside the river on her bike. TSS had decided to tell her that Ranger might be in trouble and to get over there pronto but something near the rivers edge had caught her eye. Something was down in the gravel by the river. She hopped off her bike and made her way down to it to find a mask, a very ugly mask.

She bent down to pick it up. But the moment she touched it thick green smoke emerged from it and became a strange bolb creature.

"I will grant you a wish." It hissed.

"Oh cool!" Ace said excited. "Okay i want to see what would happen if this series had been made by nintendo.

"Umm... Okay." The blob said before there was flash of white light showing Ranger dressed like Link with a tiny ball of red light that was TSS. Ace was dressed like Zelda.

"Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen!" TSS said flapping about.

"Oh shut up you god damn fairy!" Ranger shouted.

Half a second later everything returned to normal.

"Okay who about how Ranger would look as a lawyer!" Ace said.

"Okay..." The bolb replied.

There was another flash of light and Ranger was at the plantiff table wearing a grey suit.

"This courtrooms getting crazy! Let's rock!" Ranger shouted one hand raised high in the air.

TSS banged a gavel.

"I'll let it go." He said.

Then everything returned too normal.

Ace frowned.

"You know you really suck at this wishing stuff."

"Well maybe you're a lousy wish maker!" The bolb snapped.

"Asshole." Ace muttered turning on her heel.

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Back at Devils prison Ranger heard the clanking of steel locking pins moving away. Ranger stood up and frowned.

"What's going on?" Ranger asked.

"OH god! They're starting it already!" Joey screamed!

"Again, what's going on?" Ranger asked.

"Attention all prisoners. This is the warden speaking."

Ranger glanced up.

"Their going to kill us!" Joey screamed.

"We're about to play a little game of hide and seek. You all hide. We seek, and eat."

"I don't like the sound of that." Ranger muttered wishing he had his weapons.

"We'll give you a six second head start." The warden said before laughing!

The prisioners bolted from their cells and Joey and Ranger ran out as well. But at the end of the hall the prisoners came upon some guards.

"Going somewhere boys?" One of the guards asked. Then he contourted and out of him burst a hoorid werewolf like creature which set upon the prisoners! Quickly the other guards promptly transformed and attacked the prisoners. Ranger and Joey who were near the back turned on their heels and ran.

"What do we do?" Joey asked not bothering to check if the guards were following!

"YOU DIE!!" Screamed a guard who lunged from around a corner at him!

Suddenly Ranger's left fist conected with his face! The guard/were wolf thing stumble back only to get a sweep kick to the legs and then a curb stomping from Ranger.

"Come on that won't keep him down long." Ranger said continuing to run.

Meanwhile warden and a large number of guards stood by the gate waiting for any prisoner's who tried to escape.

"This is to much fun." The warden said grinning listening to the screams of dieing men.

"Attention everyone." A voice said over the PA system. The warden glanced up in shock.

"This Ranger24 telling all you jackasses the FBI's on route. But by that time they'll find nothing but you're dead bodies."

Suddenly from the Warden's office window a slain guards body fell through and crashed on the concrete! Then down came Ranger fully armed and equiped.

The warden snarled and he and the guards all transformed and charged Ranger who brought up Luna and Sol.

"EAT BLESSED SILVER FREAKS!" Ranger shouted before opening fire! The were wolves were fluung to the ground dead by Ranger's bullets, all except the warden who leapt at Ranger snarling. Ranger brought out his sword and with a hewing storke took the warden's head clean off. Instant kill. Joey folllowed up behind him clutching a 9mm.

"Is it over?" He asked.

Ranger smirked.

"Almost."

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Later at the bar it had slightly more patrons than it had had last time Ranger had visited. TSS sat in a corner sipping from a glass of wine which had the usual donated blood. Ranger and Ace where playing poker while Joey sat at the bar.

"Pair of queens." Ace said laying her cards on the table and smiling.

"Guess the rounds mine." She said reaching for the chips but Ranger set his cards on the table.

"Three ace's." Ranger replied smirking.

Ace glared at him pushing the chips over to him.

"You know, you really suck when you win."

"Well someone's mad." Ranger replied.

"I wish you'd go to hell." Ace muttered.

Suddenly out of the floor the masked blod appeared making Joey and the bartender freak out!

"THAT'S THE THING THAT KILLED TRISTAN!!" Joey screamed.

"HOLY SHIT! THAT THING'S UGLIER THAN MY MOTHER IN LAW!!!" The bartender screamed!

"Hey Ace, who's the freak?" Ranger asked casually.

"Some douche who can't grant a wish right." Ace growled.

"I shall grant your..." The masked blob started to say before it got a round from Luna straight to it's mask! It howled in pain moving back as Ranger grabbed his cash and shoved it in his pockets before charging after the blob. The blob went straight through the door which Ranger kicked open and followed him out into the streets! It turned on him and moved to attack but Ranger side stepped and slashed it!

"OH THE PAIN!" It shreiked before jumping into a wall.

Seconds later it reappeared from right underneath Ranger and swallowed him up!

"HA HA HA! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT YOU SON OF A..."

Suddenly Ranger's sword came out of the mask and Ranger sliced the creature in half! What was left of the blob dropped away and the mask clattered to the ground.

Then a shadowy figure jumped out of the shadows and grabbed the mask!

"I'll take that!" Gollum hissed!

He jumped up onto a roof top narrowly avoiding Ranger's pistol shot. Ranger frowned and blew the smoke away from Sol. Gollum was up to something.

FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCMFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC

Later at the bar Ranger sat next to Joey.

"I can't thank you enough forgeting me out of there." Joey said half smiling. But then he sighed and lowered his head.

"But maybe you should have left me in there to rot and die." Joey continued.

"What'd you mean?" Ranger asked.

Joey downed a shot of whiskey.

"I have a sister, Serenity. She has a health condition and I'm afraid that what's happened probably gave her a heart attack." Joey said as the Bartender gave him another round.

"She was good freinds with Tristan, she probably hates me for what happened." Joey said disparingly.

"She doesn't hate you." Ranger replied. Joey looked up confused.

"Your sister is the one who put me on the case." Ranger continued pulling out the ring Serenity had given him. Joey gapped at it.

"That's Serenity's ring!" Joey shouted.

Ranger smiled and tossing the ring to Joey who caught it and made his way out of the bar. Across the street he thought he saw Serenity standing a under a lamp post before turning on the spot and vanishing into the darkness. Ranger smiled looking up at the nights sky.

_Don't look back  
Don't regret  
Time's falling out of these hands  
I'll let you leave me_

_Go on,  
You know Home is always inside your soul  
All the light to bless your way  
Don't be afraid  
And I'll be your home_

_In this time  
In this place  
This moment is all we have  
And tomorrow we never know_

_Every precious time  
Let it go  
Somewhere away  
You will learn, and you'll love,  
Forgive the past and you can move on_

_All the distance  
You've come to a place  
Then you see that your home is away  
Now the sun is rising  
Lighting up your sky again brightly_

_Every precious time  
Let it go  
Somewhere away  
You will learn, and you'll love,  
Forgive the past_

_Go on,  
You know Home is always inside your soul  
Wherever you go  
Whatever you see  
I'll be the place  
And I'll be your home._

Suddenly Lilo tackled him from behind.

"What the hell kinda ending was that?!" She asked clearly annoyed.

"Lilo if you live past sixteen at this rate it'll be a miricale, now GET OFF MY BACK!" Ranger shouted.

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**Ranger24: Yeah, way to ruin an ending Lilo. Next timea visitor shows up asking for me but what's really going on? Read and review.**

**PS the song was I'll be your home the credits theme for the anime.**


	15. PSA: Damn telemarkters

PSA: Telemarketer slaughter.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Rain fell over a barren desert. Two dozen of warriors all stood around one lone figure who stood hand resting on the hilt of a sword. He was hooded in a green cloak which concealed his face. The warriors about him drew swords and charged.

In a flash he drew his blade as lightning crackled across the sky! The thunder covered up the scream of the man he'd just slashed the arm off of. He swung his sword behind himself impailing another warrior before yanking it out and slicing another victim in half! Two charged him at once and he side stepped before removing ones leg and stabbing the other through the heart.

He stabbed the man missing a leg in the gut and lifted him off the ground swinging him into two other hapless victims before flinging him off! One more assailant swung at him but he blocked and with his counter beheaded the man. A small fountain of blood shot down from the severed head. He then ducked the stroke of another attacker that had been aimed at his head and ran the man through with his sword. The man was nearly split in half by the removing thrust.

Several attackers charged him at once and he hurled his sword clean through one before bringing out a pair of pistols! The weapons flashed as lightning crackled in the night! Several attackers fell dead blood pouring from the wounds that the pistol tore into the bodies. Blood pooled in the rain choked dirt.

The hooded man brought out a knife and hurled it into the throat of another poor soul who fell before clothes lining two more victim's and recovering his sword! With swift slices the men's throats were cut. The last attacker charged roaring a battle cry!

In one swift motion the hooded man sheathed his blade, brought out a long bow, and knocked an arrow to it's string! The bow made a hiss as the arrow was freed of the string and went right into the poor bastards heart. The man in the green cloak sighed and began to walk away. Suddenly a hand grabbed his leg.

He looked down to see a single person still alive, the first one he'd taken down, blood dripping from his severed limb.

"Why?" The dieing man asked.

The cloaked man sighed and removed his hood. It was Ranger.

"I told you damn Tellemarketer's once already! I'm not interested in buying a time share!"

"But Alaska..." The man started to say but Ranger stabbed his sword into the man's hand.

"I told you guys before! Alaska sounds nice but I can't afford something like that in the current economic climate, now die!" Ranger shouted before stabbing the man through the heart killing him.

Ranger glanced over at the camera. "Hey folks sorry but the next chapter of Fanfiction may cry will take a while due to character trouble. The same unfortunatly goes for Crossover hearts. Unless someone has a suggestion for Vexen."

A telemarketer tried to move but Ranger yanked out Sol and blasted him in the head.

"So yeah I'll hopefully get this straightened out before the end of the month. To make up for it here's a peak at FMC 4."

Hojo gave cry of alarm as the last sword Alter threw broke through the glass he'd been using to protect himself! He crashed to the ground as Alter jumped up into the lab. He looked up and point at Alter's chaos buster.

"Th-that's Dark power! How can this be?" He demanded shocked pushing himself into a crouched position.

"Look who's talking jackass, now answer my questions!" Alter said swinging heart breaker at Hojo, the tip of the blade nearly touching Hojo's nose!

"What the hell is going on here?" Alter demanded.

Hojo stared at Alter's chaos eyes wide.

"How profound." Hojo whispered moving closer to the arm making Alter take a step back. "It's magnifiecnt!"

Alter was, to say the least, a litte creeped out. "Okay did you even hear me?" Alter said swinging Heart Breaker at Hojo's head but Hojo caught it with his middle and ring fingers. He grinned wickedly at Alter.

"If you want answers, then I shall give them to you." He whispered releasing the sword and walking past Alter.

"It has only been a few years since I began this research," he began. "Could we isolate and bind dark power. It could enable us to conquoer the world."

He turned to face Alter.

"And that, that is the wish, of his holyness." Hojo finished.

Alter gave a snort of laughter.

"What a crock. Well you may as well give it up because his holyness is dead." Alter replied.

Hojo's eyes brightened.

"Ah, but his holyness has been reborn, as an Angel."

This made Alter really laugh. "An angel?"

"And soon!" Hojo said excitedly. "Soon so shall I." He said making a bow.

Alter frowned, something was up.

Then Hojo's eyes darted to a corner and Alter whirled about only to be scewered by one of the armors, Heart Breaker flying from his hands! He was smashed into the wall a spary of blood flying out his mouth! The armor retreated removing it's lance only for two more to prop Alter up under the arms with their lances. He hung there panting as Hojo laughed and walked over to him!

"See! What just a small fraction of my research, has yeilded?" He said turning to face the hovering knights. "Look! How beautiful this white armor stands! You have no idea, the hardship to make just one armor, come to life!"

He grinned whistfully at the memories. "I had to capture and control countless monsters! To harness their very souls! Summoning them alone was almost an insurmontable task."

"Summoning?" Alter whispered finding his voice. He looked up. "So it was you, who made the gate!"

Hojo nodded egearly. "Yes! Yes! The Black gate. I used it merely as a refrence in subsitution to the real gate. But after utilizing an extremly powerfull Shadow arm, it proved sufficent."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Alter muttered.

Hojo smirked.

"You," a Scarmory flew to his hand. "Should rest."

Then he thrust it into Alter's chest and fresh blood flew out of his mouth. Hojo laughed.

"Soon you shall be my next subject of experimentation. So I can learn a little something from you..."

He leaned in close to the Chaos Buster glowing purple.

"And... that.. arm."

He straightened.

"Never." Alter growled before spiting a bloody luegy on Hojo's face.

Hojo glared at him and twisted the Scarmory wedged in Alter's chest before yanking it out. He turned to face the armors and began walking away.

"Take him out." He ordered and the armors moved in for the kill!

Alter's vision faded to black.

Then he heard his own voice call from as if far away.

_'Sakura! Run!'_

Then he heard Sakura's scream!

_'Alter!'_

_'Sakura! Sakura!'_

Then something stirred within him.

His eyes flashed open glowing a chaotic purple! A strange arura gathering about about him. The sword halves suddenly began spining wildly! Alter's teeth ground together and Hojo turned about as the two halves of Soul Eater fused together and flew into Alter's waiting Chaos Buster! There was a blast of chaos energy which sent Hojo flying and destroyed the Armors!

He hit the ground in outer chamber forced into his angelic form which had two black wings but other wise looked like a beattle. He stood on his hands and knees hearing the strange hiss of Alter's breathes. He looked up to see Alter standing above him a great purple spector hovering above him, Soul Eater clutched in his Chaos Buster glimmering with power.

"HOW!!?" Hojo demanded horrified. "Not even I could succed in restoring it!"

Then Alter spoke in a voice that was to deep and evil sounding to be his own. But his own voice was there as well. He could feel the massive power that radiated off him.

"From that day forth, my arm chaged, a voice echoed out inside me. 'Power, give me more power!"

"What?" Hojo asked confused.

"And if I become a demon, then so be it. I'll endure the exhile. Anything." His eyes flashed! "To PROTECT HER!!" Then he swung Soul Eater with all his might and it blasted a massive hole in the ceiling above Hojo making him scream in fright staring up at the hole! He turned to face Alter!

"This is preposturous! Preposturous!" He screamed! Then he spread his beattle like wings and flew away out the gaping hole Soul eater had just made.

When he was gone Alter felt the power lessened signficantly to the point where the specter vanished his eyes returned to normal and the sword vanished. He fell to his knees and glanced at his arm, it thrumed with power the sword hidden inside. He reached to his wound and discovered it was gone. His enitre body felt more alive that any time before in his life.

Then he laughed. He laughed for almost a minute before he stood up with a sigh.

"I should get back to head quarters. If what Hojo said is true, Axel must have known something." He said picking up his fallen Heart Breaker sword.


	16. Chapter 13: Once upon a time

**Ranger24: Hey finally got around to updating this fic! Enjoy!**

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Chapter 13: Once upon a time.

Diclaimer: I own nothing.

Fanfiction May Cry was dark and Ranger was sleeping at his desk. Outside rain lashed at the windows in a curtians of deluge. The door cracked open and in entered the rain drentched Shadow Syndicate. The Vampiric laison scowled at Ranger who let out an epic snore before he walked over to the sleeping Twilight warrior and kicked his desk. Ranger fell out of the chair with a cry of suprise before he struck the ground with a crash.

"Wake up Ranger." TSS growled.

Ranger pushed himself up off the floor. "You know you could have just nudged me or something. But no, you had to go and kick my antique desk."

"Sorry I'm late but the clients train came in late." TSS replied pulling a blood packet from his rain coat.

Ranger frowned. "Client?"

At that moment the door opened and Ranger raised an eyebrow as a man with brown hair entered with green eyes. He took one look out Ranger and his face light up.

"Yoki? Is that you man?" He asked sounding excited.

Ranger rose to his feet.

"Umm... Who are you?" Ranger asked confused.

"What? You don't remeber me? I'm Suzaku!" The man said suprised.

Ranger glanced at TSS.

"Right, Suzaku could you let me speak with my associate in private for a moment?" Ranger asked.

Suzaku blinked in confusion. "Ummm... Okay?"

Ranger smiled then pulled TSS into the bathroom. He glared at the vampire.

"What the hell is this?" He demanded.

"Hell if I know." TSS said biting into the blood package. "He just showed up at my office asking for a friend of his named Yoki. He said the guy was a slayer, and you're the only slayer I know."

"What makes you think my name is Yoki?" Ranger asked putting his face in his palms.

"It mean anything to you?" TSS asked.

Ranger sighed. "I've used it as an alias before but apart from that no."

"Well your the detective so you figure out what he wants." TSS replied simply.

"Can't we just skip this whole chapter?" Ranger asked.

"No because it deepens the myster and Gollum get's screen time." TSS answered downing half the blood package in one swig.

Ranger sighed. "God fucking damnit."

"Yeah ever seen the movie the Majestic?" TSS asked.

"No why?"

"No reason."

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"Oh now I get it." Ranger growled as he stepped off the train onto a little island town. Waiting fro him just a few feet away was Suzaku grinning from ear to ear. Ranger sighed and shifted the guitar case that hide his sword onto his shoulder. He made his way over to Suzaku who pulled him into a hug.

"It's damn good to see you man." Suzaku said releasing Ranger.

"Hey this is just me asking but where did you hear about me from?" Ranger asked.

"Some guy I meet at a circus tent said he knew a guy who fits your description." Suzaku answered.

Ranger raised an eyebrow. "Hey can you take me to this guy?"

Suzaku nodded. "Sure."

Two minutes later Ranger and Suzaku were in Suzaku's car driving through the small town, Ranger could defenatly start to remember being here before. The memories however were from a past he prefered to repress a bit.

"Everything's gotten a lot better from when that fire gutted the town when you and your master vanished. People actaul started blaming the two of you for the fire. But a few of us really know what happened." Suzaku replied.

"Terrorist?"

"No."

"Global warming?"

"No."

"Alein invasion?"

"No."

"Roise O'donald?"

"No that was the earth quake."

"Demon attack?"

"Yeah something along that line."

The car came to a stop in front of a purple and yellow circus tent. Ranger frowned and stepped out of the car.

"Wait here." He muttered to Suzaku.

He walked into the circus tent, it was pitch black inside. Then he heard a snicker.

"Okay whoever you are come on out before I get pissed." Ranger growled pulling out Luna.

The snicker became a hiss. "Stupid Twilight whelp. GOLLUM! It is not very nice. Preacious is merely helping out poor Suzaku."

"Oh please, why would you help him?" Ranger asked eyes scanning the darkness around him.

"That is for precious to know and the Twilight whelp to find out." Gollum replied.

Ranger muttered a curse shoving Luna back into it's holster. He stepped out of the tent throwing one last glance over his shoulder into the darkness.

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About half an hour later they pulled up in front of a large house just outside of town on a hill over looking the bay. Ranger glanced about him. The place was defenatly familar now, the oak trees with just budding leaves, the old dirt road, even the veiw brought up memories. With a pang he realized that this had been the site of the Inn where he and his master had once stayed for a month long vacation. The memories he had been keeping away from himself came back as did the guilt over what had happened to the town.

Suzaku put the car and park and climbed out. Ranger quickly followed Suzaku's lead grabbing his guitar case that held his sword.

"So I take it this is your place?" Ranger asked.

Suzaku nodded. "Yeah right where the inn used to be, foundation was still intact when I bought the property so I built the house right here."

They made their way to the door and Suzaku opened it up.

"Euphie I'm home." He called inside.

From the door to the kitchen poked a the head of a young woman with long pink hair and eyes that just spoke comfort and peace.

"Welcome home Suzaku." Euphie said stepping out into the hall and embracing Suzaku.

"Euphie, this is Yoki. He's an old friend of mine." Suzaku said motioning to Ranger. "Ranger this is Euphemia, my fiancee."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Yoki." Euphemia said smiling. "Suzaku's told me a lot of things about you."

Ranger quickly got his manners together. He gave a slight bow to Euphemia.

"The pleasure is all mine, milady." Ranger said smiling back. Inside he was tearing himself apart with guilt. He'd made himself forget Suzaku because of what had happened all of those years ago. They had stayed far to long and had thought they would be safe only for that thing to come. By the time Ranger's Master had sealed the monster away it had ravaged the town leaving dozens of people dead and homeless.

The two lovers lead Ranger into the large parolor filled with several comfortable chairs and Euphemia took her leave quickly to get some drinks for them all.

"So, what's this I hear about you being a slayer?" Suzaku asked.

Ranger gave a half hearted smile. "It's just what I do to pay the bills."

"And you just like getting your violent urges out of your system," Suzaku added grinning.

Ranger laughed sadly. Suzaku not failing to notice this frowned.

"You okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine." Ranger replied quickly resuming his smile as Euphemia came back in with three wine glasses.

"Cheers," Euphemia said happily handing out the drinks.

"To old friends." Suzaku said raising up his glass still smiling.

Ranger raised his glass and drained half of it in one swig.

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"So is it really true that you and Suzaku used to go and deflat the tires of the cab drivers in town?" Euphemia asked as she stood with Ranger out on the deck near sun down.

Ranger smiled as the memory came up to him. "Yeah, really pissed the drivers off."

He sighed a stared out at the sun set.

"So what do you think of all this?" He asked.

Euphemia frowned. "What do you mean?"

"About the whole thing about the town hating me?" Ranger asked.

Euphemia glanced back inside the house. "Some people think Suzaku's crazy because he thinks a demon ravaged the town all those years ago. It's lucky my older sister and half brother gave their approval or else Suzaku and I wouldn't be getting married."

"And what about me?" Ranger asked.

"I think your Suzaku's old friend Yoki, who's been wrongly acused of destroying this town all of those years ago." Euphemia replied. "Suzaku's says you guys buried some little treasure chest some where around here all of those years ago. He's not telling me where you guys hid it though."

Ranger's eyes fell upon the oldest and most gnarled of the oak trees and made noted of patch near it's roots that was bare of grass.

"Somethings are hidden right under your nose." Ranger said simply turning to go inside.

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Later that night near midnight Ranger sat in one of the arm chairs in the living room his eyes closed shut and the guitar case that held his sword leaning against his chair.

The window creaked open and in slipped a small thin figure with large lamp like eyes. It hissed silently as it made it's way over to the chair where Ranger was sleeping.

Suddenly Ranger's hand shot down to the zipper of the case and ripped it open releasing his sword from its confines. He grabbed it's hilt, rose to his feet and in a single move had his assailant at the point of his sword. Gollum gave a yelp of suprise.

"Don't hurt us precious! We hasn't done anything wrong! GOLLUM! GOLLUM!"

Ranger scowled at him coldly. "You just broke into a betrothed couples house and come creeping up behind me. I'd say thats breaking and entering along with attempted murder."

"Whats the point precious, GOLLUM! Of Jailing someone for attempted murder?" Gollum said quickly.

"What do you want?" Ranger growled nearly pricking Gollum's neck with the tip of his sword.

"We was merely here to warn the Twilight whelp, yes warn him. GOLLUM! GOLLUM! He should be weary he should of friends from his past." Gollum said placatingly.

"Why would Suzaku try and kill me? He wouldn't stand a chance?" Ranger asked.

Gollum laughed wickedly. "Ah not what he might do to you my precious. What he might do to try and help you. GOLLUM! GOLLUM!"

"I'm really getting sick of that cough of yours." Ranger growled swinging back his sword. "How 'bout I give you a losange called death!"

But his sword meet thin air and Ranger stumbled forward. He glanced about on high alert Gollum had vanished.

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The next morning Suzaku found Ranger still in his chair, deep in thought.

"Sleep well?" Suzaku asked brightly.

Ranger didn't reply as Suzaku grabbed his jacket off the coat rack where Ranger's cloak also hung.

"Suzaku..." Ranger said slowly making Suzaku pause. "Why exactly did you bring me here?"

Suzaku turned about and frowned. "Is it wrong to want to see an old friend?"

"That's not the reason," Ranger said. "Why did you really bring me back here?"

Suzaku sighed. "I want Euphemia to be happy, because of the fact I claim that a demon destroyed the town all of those years ago I don't have the best of reputations. If her half brother wasn't an old friend of mine her sister would never have even considered allowing us to get married. I have to prove you innocent and that it was a demon that destroyed this town. I've found the evidence I need to do it."

He pulled open the closet and brought out a well built sword.

"If your hunting a demon as powerfull as what I think your dealing with, that sword won't even be a safety net." Ranger said coldly.

Suzaku smirked. "Oh he won't know what hit him."

Before Ranger could do or say anything else Suzaku stepped outside and left. He heard the car start up and pull out of the drive.

Ranger sat there in silence, Suzaku wouldn't stand a chance against that thing not without his help. But what would happen if the thing recognized him?

At that moment Euphemia came down the stairs and frowned. "Has Suzaku left already?"

Ranger nodded rising from his chair and grabbing the guitar case.

"Euphemia, you should know... My name isn't Yoki." Ranger said.

This statement caught Euphemia off guard. "But you look just like Suzaku describes Yoki."

"Yoki was my alias back then, Suzaku wasn't lying about a demon destroying the town either. That demon...," Ranger paused as he slung the case onto his back. "Came here looking for myself and my Master."

Euphemia's eyes grew somber. "So what are you going to do then?"

"I need to know where he's going." Ranger answered looking Euphemia right in the eyes. "If I can't stop Suzaku from doing what I think he'll do, there might not be any town left here to rebuild."

Euphemia gave a gasp.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Twenty minutes later Ranger was running as fast as he could up the side of the hills over looking the town. He was running on a flight of granite steps that had been cut out of the side of the hill years before.

"Oh please don't be doing something stupid! Please don't be doing something stupid! Please don't be ... Oh who am I kidding he's doing something stupid." Ranger muttered.

At the top of the hill Suzaku stood alone in what looked like a burned out shrine. Right in front of him was a massive black stone that looked vaguely like a door.

He pulled out a peice of chalk and drew on the ground a pentagram in a circle. Almost as soon as he completed the circle black symbols emerged from the ground and began to rotate around the pentagram. He rose to his feet and pulled out his sword as the whole area began to shake. A seem appeared in the door and it began to split apart!

Suzaku glared at it. "Okay time to pay you back for what you did all those years ago you monster!"

Then out of the door shot a massive black and red monster! All about it fires burst into existence! It hit the ground and roared, the sky going dark and over cast. It was half pig, half bear, and half man!

"Man-bear-pig!?" Suzaku shouted in alarm as it losed another roar.

He raised his sword only to be swatted aside by it's massive arms! He crashed into a pile of rooten wood and heard a resounding crack as pain seared through his chest and left arm. He'd broken at least four ribs and his left arm. He struggled to pull himself out of the pile only to find Man-bear-pig leering over him saliva dripping from his mouth.

"How? How can Al Gore have been right about this!?" Suzaku screamed.

Suddenly man-bear-pig was blasted back as bullet's collided with it's face! Ranger jumped in between Suzaku and man-bear-pig ejecting his spent pistol clips.

"Suzaku you prat, that is Al Gore. Or at least his soul." Ranger snapped shoving his pistol's into their holsters and drawing his sword.

Al Gore pushed himself off the ground. "So you finally showed up, Mr. Global warming is a natural process!"

"It is you douche, fossiel fuels are just speeding up earths natural heating and cooling cycles!" Ranger replied.

"And that's why I came to this town all of those years ago to kill you! If we don't stop Global warming now we're going to die!" Al Gore shot back.

Suzaku's eyes widened even as he felt himself slipping into unconsiousness. "He came to kill you?"

"This time I'll finish the job!" Al Gore roared lunging at Ranger who meet Al Gore's charge with a sweeping stroke of his sword, cutting off the annoying Democrat's left arm.

"He came for you..." Suzaku whispered before passing out.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Suzaku shot up in bed with a cry of pain clutching at his side, startling Euphemia who sat by his bed. He was in a hospital.

"Suzaku are you all right?" Euphemia asked worried.

The memories of the confrontation with Al Gore suddenly came flooding back to Suzaku and his grip tightened around his bed sheets.

"Where's Yoki?" He demanded.

"He just left..." Euphemia started but Suzaku was already out of his bed racing to the door.

"Suzaku!" She said in alarm.

Suzaku came around the door to see Ranger's retreating back. Anger rolled off him in droves.

"YOU BASTARD!" He screamed! "IT'S YOUR FAULT THIS TOWN WAS DESTROYED! IF YOU'D NEVER COME HERE ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE WOULDN"T HAVE DIED!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I DEFENDED YOU FOR ALL OF THESE YEARS!!"

Ranger didn't pause in his step. He didn't ever appear to have noticed Suzaku. Euphemia watched the whole seen with silent tears dripping down her face.

Later that day when she returned to the house she stood out on the porch looking out over the bay with a glum experssion on her face.

Suddenly she noticed a the end of something sticking out of the ground by the bare patch at the old oak tree. Someone had distrubed the ground there.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

That night as Ranger rode the train back to the city he sat alone in the car his eyes shut.

"We told you it would happen my Precious." Gollum hissed from across from him.

"Shut up, what is it you're after?" Ranger growled.

Gollum barred his fangs. "Power."

Ranger yanked out his pistol's only to find, once again, that Gollum had disappeared.

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**Ranger24: And thats the chapter for today. Read and review.**


	17. Chapter 14: Death Poker part 1

**Ranger24: Okay kinda annoyed by the defacet in reviews but here's the newest chapter. Also today april 24 is my birthday so yeah to me.**

* * *

Chapter 14: Death poker part 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It was very late, way passed most little kids bed times. Yet out on the bay was a large cruise liner with semi retarded sounding music coming from it along with enough lights to confuse it for a dutch brothel.

On board dozen's of wealthy men and women in fancy get ups were spilling away their cash in a massive on board casino. Several girls in bunny suit's flitted from table to table prefering to hang with the men who were making the most money. One guy who looked barely old enough ot be gambling had two bunnies all to himself one with lime green hair and the other with pinkish-red hair simply because he had just beaten a guy shitless at high stakes chess. Yes there is such a thing as high stakes chess.

Lilo and Stitch gazed down in wonder at the madness of this high class party from a balconey over looking the gambling pit. Lilo and Stitch had both done their best to look fancy for this whole thing.

"How the heck do these guys make so much money?" Lilo asked in awe.

TSS smirked, he was dressed in as fancy of atire as he could get wich basically meant a black vest and jacket. In one hand he held a leather brief case and over his shoulder was slung Ranger's black Guitar case. "Most of these clownes either got their money through inheritance or they managed to get lucky on the stock market."

"In these economic conditions?" Lilo said raising an eyebrow.

"Indeed." TSS replied making his way along the balconey.

"Hey, where's Ranger?" Lilo asked.

"At the high stakes table." TSS replied.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Meanwhile Ace dealt out the cards at the high stakes Texas hold 'em table. She'd knocked out the real dealer and shoved her in a closet. Now she was keeping an eye on the private high stakes table. She glanced at the players.

The first one was a man in his late twenties early thirties, he had blonde hair with a mustache and side burns. The second was an old man with glasses and more wrinkles than a shirt that had been on the floor for two months. The third was a woman in a red dress, she had blonde hair and blue eyes a small smile was almost always on her face it seemed. Then there was small man with red hair, a large nose, and glasses who was looking nervously down at his chips which were by far the fewest. Then he eyes fell upon the final player.

"I raise this little game by four hundred." The blonde man said tossing in a couple of chips before glancing at the next person on the table.

"I'll call," Ranger replied tossing in the appropriate amount of chips.

Why Ranger was even thinking he could survivie a poker game at the high stakes table Ace had no idea.

"I'll fold." The Blonde woman said setting her two cards on the table.

"Is it my turn yet?" The old man said glancing about in confusion.

"Yes," everyone else replied.

"Oh okay then, I call." The man said pushing the proper amount of chips.

The red head gulped and tossed in a couple of chips. "I raise it two fifty."

The blonde man smiled. "Very well I call."

Ranger merely tossed in a few extra chips.

"Well I fold then." The old man said putting down his cards. The blonde woman smiled as Ace turned over the first three cards. A two, a four, and a five. The Blonde man smirked.

"Say anyone here about King? The Gambler from hell?" He asked.

"I'm to old for ghost stories sonny," The old man replied.

"They say if you lose a game with him, he not only takes your money. He takes you life." The blonde man said ignoring the older man's comment.

"If your trying to spook people out of their money you'll have to try harder buddy," Ranger replied disinterested.

The man smiled and pushed forward several chips. "Four fifty."

Ranger nodded and tossed in the appropraite amount of chips. "I call."

The red haired man at the end gulped. "I raise it three fifty."

The blonde man and Ranger both meet the bet.

Ace quickly did the math in her head. The Ante was fifty dollars a player so that meant two fifty plus four hundred from the orginal beat added to the raise equaled two thousand three hundred and fifty dollars had been added last round. Along with the ante that equalled two thousand six hundred. Then there was the added cash from this round equalled five thousand dollars in the pot.

She turned over the first card, a Jack.

"Seven fifty," the blonde man said tossing in his chips. He glanced down at Ranger. "You know my freind I was merely making a statement. I like a good game."

"Fine by me," Ranger replied. He pushed in seven fifty.

"Well as for King they say he only goes to the high stakes table and that he's never lost a game of poker." The blonde man said as the jittery red head pushed in the appropriate chips along with a little extra.

"I raise it t-two fifty," he said stuttering.

The blonde man smiled. "A risk taker? Very well." He pushed in even more chips. "I call and raise it two hundred."

Ranger simply tossed in his chips.

The red haired man shivered slightly tossing in the appropriate chips. The pot was now eight thousand six hundred dollars.

"That's some big money," The blonde woman commented.

"Big money is a sign of big men," the blonde man replied.

"Is that an attempt at a sexual innuendo?" Ranger said with a raised eye brow as Ace turned over the final card, a seven.

The blonde man smiled and pushed in his chips. "One thousand," He said simply.

Ranger sighed and set down his cards. "I fold."

All eye's fell upon the small red haired man. He gulped and pushed in his chips.

"I call and raise you eight fifty," he said drumming his fingers against the table.

The blonde man smirked. "Oh you're really pushing your luck my freind."

Then to everyone's suprise he pushed in his entire stack! Almost fifty thousand dollars, he leaned back in his arm chair. "All in."

The red haired man gulped. The pot was Sixty one thousand four hundred and fifty dollars. The red head looked as though he was about to have a seizure. Then he pushed in all that were left of his chips, just around five thousand dollars.

"All in," he said voice trembling.

Ace shook her head. The poor guy was cracking apart. They were only ten hands into the game and someone was about to lose it all.

The blonde man set down his cards smirking. A jack and a seven. "Two pairs of two of a kind."

The red head however blinked in utter shock and he dropped his cards onto the table. A six and a jack. Everyone quickly had his suprised expression. The blonde man looked thunder struck. A straight and a pair.

Ace promptly pushed over the entire sixty six thousand four hundred and fifty dollar pot over to the red head.

"You're friging kidding me!" The blonde man screamed as a look of delight crossed the read heads face.

"You lost fair and square buddy, calm down." Ranger muttered.

"YOU CHEATED!" The blonde screamed pulling out a M9 pistol! The red head's eyes widened in fear and everyone except Ranger had a sudden expression of alarm. Ace's hand went straight to her own pistol!

At that moment however the man clutched at his chest gagging horribly. He dropped his pistol and collapsed on the table. Everyone stared at him in shock. Ace gulped and quickly pulled out a blanket. She checked for a pulse but his body was motion less.

"He's dead," she whispered.

Ranger leaned back in his chair. "Check please."

* * *

**Ranger24: Okay short chapter but hey I just wanted to get this set up. Anyways read and review!**

**Also the gamblers were, in order of apperance:**

**Blonde guy: Luxord (KH)**

**Old guy: Abraham Simpson (The Simpsons)**

**Blonde Woman: Six (BSG)**

**Red head: Mort Goldman (Family Guy)**


	18. Chapter 15: Death poker part 2

**Ranger24: Here's part two of this little party folks.**

* * *

Chapter 15: Death poker part 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Two days ago...**

_"Everyone has their vices, I've got Pizza and shooting stuff. Your uncle has gambling," Ranger said with his feet propped up on his desk at Fanfiction May Cry. _

_Ace and Lilo were playing pool while TSS sat on the couch drinking from a wine glass of medical blood. Stitch was in front of the TV playing Guitar Hero 3: Legends of rock. Standing in front of Ranger however was a young man with light brown hair, his name was Light Yagami. _

_"Yes well unfortunatly my uncles gambling habits are way out of control, I need some one to snap him back to his senses." Light replied with a serious look on his face._

_"Question," Ace suddenly put in._

_"Yes?" Light asked._

_"If you just want him to stop gambling, then why don't you take him to a therapist or something?"_

_"Because I've already tried that. I left to go to the rest room for three minutes and I come back to find him playing poker with the Doctor." Light dead panned._

_"Then what makes you think Ranger will make any difference?" Lilo asked as Ace sunk a ball into one of the pockets._

_"Because I need someone who's good at poker to beat him to the point were he can't gambel anymore and I heard that Ranger plays poker." Light replied._

_Ace, Lilo, TSS, and Stitch all paused in what they were doing to share a look then all four of them burst out laughing._

_"Oh shut it," Ranger growled._

**Present day...**

Ranger muttered a stream of curses as he washed his hands in the bathroom. "Damnit I friging taught Lilo to play poker!"

He finished washing his hands and made his way back into the high stakes chamber as Lilo pushed in more of his chips.

"I raise you Two twenty," Lilo said confidently.

Ranger sighed and grabbed Lilo around the waist pulling her out of his chair.

"Okay bathroom breaks over," he said in tried tones.

Lilo scowled as she sat down next to TSS on one of the leather sofa's. TSS was, as usual, drinking from a wine glass filled with blood. Stitch was curled up in a ball napping.

"So how's he doing?" TSS asked.

Lilo sighed. "I raised him four thousand but he still sucks ass."

TSS smirked and lowered his wine glass.

**Two days ago... **

_Light smiled at Ranger pleasently. "Well if you interested he'll be on the a casino ship departing from port Cureila two nights from now."_

_He set down a small box on the desk. Ranger frowned leaning forward to pick it up as Light began to leave. He opened it to reveal tickets for five and a small gold pocket watch. Lilo's eyes instantly became transfixed on the watch._

_"So you going to take the job?" Ace asked. _

_Ranger shrugged. "Probably, not much else for me to do and I might just make some money out of this whole thing."_

_"And maybe I'll marry Obama," TSS said sarcastically._

**Present day...**

"I raise this little game four-fifty." The blonde woman said pushing in her chips. Ranger set his cards on the table. "I fold."

The red head set his cards down as well. "I also fold."

"Is it my turn yet?" The old man asked.

"Yes." Everyone replied rolling their eyes in annoyance.

"Honestly why's the old coot even at this friging table?" Ranger muttered.

"Okay I put in four-eighty." The old man said pushing in his chips.

The blonde smirked meeting his beat. Ace flipped over the next card and the woman smiled.

"I'm all in." She said pushing her chips forward.

"Okay so am I." The old man said pushing in his chips.

The old man turned over his cards. "Two of a kind." He said in a wheezy voice.

The blonde woman smiled almost wickedly. "I have three of a kind, sorry buddy."

Suddenly the old man slumped over dead.

"Well shit he's dead." Ranger muttered.

"What do we do now?" The red haired man asked.

"We keep playing! We need a big winner!" The blonde woman shouted!

"So who do you think will conk out next?" Lilo asked.

"Well my money is on the blonde lasting longer than anyone." TSS said.

"You willing to put your money on that?" Lilo said pulling out twenty bucks. TSS smirked and pulled out twenty of his own.

"Meega gonna go get some coffee," Stitch said climbing down from the sofa.

'You've got to know when to hold 'em.

Know when to fold 'em.

Know when to run.'

Hours passed of carefull cards playing with no one knocking anyone out even though Ranger's chip pile started to run a little low. Stitch's pile of coffee cups however was larger and larger. Stitch was so wired he was twitching uncontrollably. Finally however the blonde made one stupid play and her enitre stack went suprisingly to Ranger. As she rose from her seat glaring at Ranger she suddenly clutched at her chest. She gave a gasp of pain before she collapsed onto the floor, dead.

"So just two of us," Ranger muttered.

TSS muttered a curse passing his twenty to a grinning but tired looking Lilo.

"I'm one of the last one standing eh?" The red head said a grin spreading across his face. "I say we play for keeps this round."

Ranger smirked. "Fine by me."

Ace sighed as they both pushed in all of their chips. The red head was grinnign wildly as Ace delt out the cards. To her alarm everything was set up perfectly for a royal flush. On the table was a King, a Queen, a ten, a Jack, and a two. If one of them had an ace the other was doomed. The red head laughed insanely.

"I win!" He shouted slapping his cards on the table, the Ace of diamonds and a four. Ace, TSS, Lilo, and Stitch's eye all fell upon Ranger as he slowly raised his cards and placed them on the table. Ace's heart skipped a beat. The Ace of spades and a two. Ranger had a royal flush and two of a kind, Ranger had won the round and the game.

The red screamed suddenly clutching at his chest. He collapsed off his chair and onto the floor dead. Lilo gave a cheer.

"Alright Ranger did it!" She shouted.

"You mean cause the deaths of four people through winning a poker game?" TSS said with a raised eyebrow.

"No...," Ranger said rising from his chair a malicous grin crossing his face. "There's still one player left."

Suddenly he pulled out Sol and took aim at Ace. Ace instantly whiped out her M9 pistol. Lilo and Stitch looked on horrified and TSS pulled up his breif case. Quick as a flash he raised the MP5 concealed in the breif case.

"Hey Ace, let's see who can put a bullet through the other's heart first!" Ranger shouted flicking off Sol's saftey!

BANG!!!

Lilo screamed as Ranger fell back, Ace's pistol bucked, and Stitch gave a yell of fright. Ranger crashed into the crowd a hole right over his heart, Sol still clutched in his hand.

Then an insane laugh came to their ears and Ace, TSS, Lilo, and Stitch turned about to see Light walking towards them clapping. Hanging from a strap at his side was a black note book.

"Congratulations young lady, you're tonights big winner!" He said grinning from ear to ear.

"You! You were King all along!" Ace said angerily.

"Actually the proper alias is Kira, King is my alias for when I do one of these little experiments." He replied.

"Yeah but you seem to forget buddy there's four of us and only one of you," TSS replied raising his MP5.

Kira laughed. "Not for long," he said pulling up the note book. "I just wrote your names in my death note here. In less than twenty seconds now you will all die of sudden violent heart attack."

"To bad buddy I'm already dead," TSS said as Lilo, Sitich and Ace looked panicking at their watches.

"Yes but I anticpated that. That is why Ace's death is different. Rather than a heart attack she will reach under the table and pick up the clip of blessed silver rounds under the table and shoot you through the heart before shooting herself." Kira replied eyes glowing red with delight at his work.

Suddenly Ace felt her hand straying down to the table under it. She struggled against what ever force was pulling her hand down. Kira laughed as he watched her struggle.

"You can't defeat a god of death! I've..."

Suddenly a spray of bullets flew at the death note and ripped it to peices! Kira gave a cry of alarm as he stumbled back blood splashing across his chest from where the bullets had hit him!

"Oh would you put a sock in it." Ranger said sitting up with Sol smoking from having just emptied it's magazine into the death note.

"Ranger!" Lilo shouted.

Ace's hand fell to her side and she turned her gun on Kira.

"What the hell! You got shot!" Kira shouted.

"Yes but I had this." Ranger said pulling out the small gold pocket watch Kira had given him. "I kinda figured out how your game works. So I took a gambel on how to beat you."

He stood up and grinned. "And it looks like I just broke the house."

"How did you know about the watches control?" Kira snarled struggling to stand.

Ranger rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Well..."

**FLASHBACK!**

_Back at Fanfiction May Cry Ranger was talking to Ace._

_"Okay if there is something funny, you knock out the dealer and steal his outfit." Ranger said._

_"Isn't that cheating?" Ace asked raising an eyebrow._

_Suddenly there came a crash and Ranger and Ace turned around to see Lilo rumaging through Ranger's cloak._

_"Lilo what are you doing?" Ranger asked rasing an eyebrow. _

_Lilo stood up and turned about with the gold watch around her neck and Sol in her hands. Her eyes stared blankly at them with a strange smile on her face._

_"Plot device." She said in a strange monotone._

_"OH SHIT!" Ranger shouted rushing forward as Lilo pulled the trigger!_

_'Uma what you say, what you say.'_

_'All that you only did when,_

_Cause you did 'Uma what you said, what you said.'_

_"OH GOD DAMNIT!" Ranger shouted as the bullet struck him in the chest. His foot flew up and knocked Sol out of Lilo's hand! Ace rushed forward and ripped the watch off Lilo's neck._

**END FLASHBACK!**

"So you got shot by a little girl." Kira dead panned.

"Oh shut up." Ranger growled pulling out Luna.

"Oh well you'll still die!" Kira shouted suddenly charging forward changing into a much more streamline verion of himself with blade like arms!

Ranger, Ace, and TSS opened fire with their weapons forcing Kira to evade them by running along the windows. Windows shattered as bullets riped into them. Quickly however all three ran out of ammo as Kira came running down to face them head on!

TSS grabbed the guitar case and threw it towards Ranger.

"Catch!" He shouted as it flew through the air.

Kira jumped onto the poker table sending chips and cards flying into the air and slashed the case! Out of it however came tons and tons of money! The sword came flying out of the green storm of money and Ranger caught it by the poomel and swung it about before charging Kira! Kira turned to face him and meet his charge!

In the flash they had passed eachother blades in clear sign of having slashed at one another and a poker card stuck to both swords.

"King of hearts." Kira hissed.

Ranger smirked. "Ace of spades, beats king every time."

Then along Kira's chest appeared Ranger's slash it went all of the way from one end of the ribs to the other.

"Oh fuck you," Kira said before his torso seperated from his legs.

Ace frowned at Ranger. "Is that really the ace of Spades?"

Ranger flung the card towards her and she caught it. Yep, definatly the ace of spades.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

The next day at Fanfiction May cry Ranger, TSS, Lilo, and Stitch were playing poker while Ace was shooting pool. Ranger smirked and set his cards down.

"Royal flush." He said grinning.

He began to reach for chips but Lilo set down her own cards. "Royal flush, Ace of Spades wins."

Ranger sighed and sat back in his chair.

"God damnit." He muttered.

* * *

**Ranger24: Note to self, don't teach little girls to play poker, or leave out guns where they can reach them. Anyways read and review.**


	19. Chapter 16: Last Promise

**Ranger24: Okay short chapter but it sets things up for the next one. Also fans of my fics involving Shade the two characters introduced in this chapter will be in those fics, including Twilight Dawn.**

**Also Ddraig s Caul is Welsh for Dragon's Maw, my sword. Hey most people use Japanese names so I though it'd be cool to use Welsh.**

* * *

Chapter 16: Last Promise

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Ranger made his way down the fog filled streets. His guitar case slung over his shoulder and his cloak wrapped about him. It had been very wet the past few days and now fog hung over the city in ridiculous quanity's. It was almost like london.

Suddenly he paused as he passed the entrance to an alley. He frowned at the darkness within unsure of something.

Then from right above him there came a mighty roar! Ranger rolled out of the way just in time to avoid being crushed by a large person in a white fur lined coat weilding to mid sized broad swords. The man glared at him as Ranger rose to his feet.

"And who are you supposed to be big guy," Ranger asked unzipping his guitar case and drawing out his sword.

"My name is Docen, I am your death Twilight Warrior!" His attacker snarled before swing his broad swords at Ranger who ducked them and back stepped raising his sword.

"Okay then if you want to fight..." He replied.

Suddenly a rocket came flying in and exploded right where Docen had stood. Ranger drew up his cloak to sheild himself from the blast as the sound of foot steps reached his ears.

"You really need to watch yourself Ranger," Ace said swinging her rocket launcher over her shoulder.

"Sure, just don't try to kill me along with the bad guys," Ranger replied in an annoyed tone.

He turned to where the darkside had stood but there wasn't even crater. The steps of an abandonde apartment had instead taken the blast but his attacker was gone. Ranger sighed and put his sword back in the guitar case.

"Something tells me trouble is a brewing." He muttered.

"Wait do I only get one line in this chapter?" Ace asked frowning.

"Yeah kinda." Ranger answered.

"Oh man," Ace groaned.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC **

The next afternoon Ranger, Lilo, and Stitch were at Pop's diner.

"Hey Ranger can we go to the beach?" Lilo asked.

"Sure," Ranger replied.

"Really!" Lilo said excitedly.

"Yeah, just get your license, pay for insurance, watch the speed limit, and you can go." Ranger said as Suki walked up with Ranger's ice cream.

"You jerk," Lilo muttered.

"Here you go Ranger," Suki said setting Ranger's ice cream on the table.

Ranger grinned and stuck his spoon into the ice cream and began to dig in.

"What do you mean it's no good?!" Pop's suddenly shouted from the bar.

Ranger, Lilo, and Stitch glanced about to see a man in a long black coat sitting at the bar with a strawberry sundea in front of him.

"My apologieze sir, it's just a bit to sweet for my liking." The man replied in an even tone.

"Look it's a strawberry sundea it's supposed to be really sweet!" Pop's replied.

"You know I kinda have to agree with the guy pops." Ranger said suddenly standing up. "I think you might have put in a bit to much sugar in the mix."

Two minutes later Ranger, the new guy, Lilo, and Stitch were out in front of the diner as Suki shrugged at them apologetically from inside.

"Nice going Ranger," Lilo muttered.

"Oh be queit," Ranger growled.

"I'm terribly sorry about that," the new guy said in apologetic voice. "My name is Ferus and I just got here from out of town."

He extended a hand which Ranger shook.

"Ranger."

At that moment Ranger's cell phone began ringing and yanked it out of his pocket.

"Yello?" He said bringing it up ot his ear.

He frowned for a moment.

"Okay I'll be right there," he said before snapping the phone closed. He hefted his guitar case onto his shoulder.

"Lilo, head on back to the shop I've got some business to take care of." He said turning to leave.

"So wait your ditching us!" Lilo objected.

"Yeah kinda," Ranger shot over his shoulder before he rounded a bend and was out of sight.

"Asshole," Stich growled.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC **

Several minutes later Ferus sat in city park gazing at a statue of a hooded figure weilding a large sharp broadsword. All about him people were enjoying the first day of no rain for a whole week with just about everything you could expect from a park. He leaned back his head and closed his eyes.

"So what are you doing here?" Said Lilo's voice from right beside him.

He opened his eyes and glanced about to see Lilo standing next to him while Stitch wooed ladies with his epic Elvis impersonation.

"Enjoying the day. You're freind not back yet?" He asked plesantly.

"Ranger?" Lilo huffed sitting down. "I'd hardly call him a freind. He's really more like the guy I muoch off of."

"That's not a very nice thing to say," Ferus noted.

"Well Ranger's not exactly one you ca say many nice things about. He's lazy, he's got bad taste in music, he's a brute, he's violent, he's a slob, and he never even says thank you to me no matter how many times I clean up that shop of his! And don't get me started on all of the money he owes people!" Lilo ranted in heated tones.

Ferus smiled slightly and rubbed the back of his head.

Unbeknownst to them to figures were watching them from a near by roof top. One of the two being Gollum and the other being the white coated warrior, Docen who'd attacked Ranger. Gollum snickered watching Lilo and Ferus.

"Ferus is very foolish my precious. GOLLUM! GOLLUM! He knows so little."

Suddenly he felt a sword at the base of his skull and he gulped.

"Bad mouth my brother again and I'll cut your head off," Docen snarled.

"We is sorry master! GOLLUM! GOLLUM! We is just making fun! Yes just making fun! We know the reason for you quest to kill the Twilight rat. GOLLUM! GOLLUM!" Gollum said quickly.

"Do you need a losange or something?" Docen asked.

"No we is good." Gollum replied.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

In some run down part of town a man screamed as he ran through a darkened room.

"Someone help me! I'm being chased by a monster!"

He came upon a dead end and turned about quiveing in fear as his pursuer revealed herself.

Larxene smirked at him hefting her large black M1911's.

"You're right I'm not human, but then again you aren't human yourself are you?" She said smirking at him.

He shivered for a second before he grinned wickedly. "True but knowing that won't save you!"

He shuddered and his limbs became massive jagged blades! He screeched and charged at Larxene who fired her pistols right into his chest! He stumbled back and Larxene's boot slammed into his neck pinning him against the wall! A blast of lightning shot from her finger tips and shocked the monster! He screamed in agony until she relented her attack and scowled.

"Alright buddy talk, what do you know about a big darkside in a white coat, goes buy the name of Docen?" She demanded.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he hissed. Larxene smirked pulling out a kunia, before she shoved it in his left eye.

He screamed in agony before she sent another blast of lightning into him. She relented after about thrity seconds.

"You were saying?" She said casualy.

"OKAY! I'll talk! He's one of the two silent swords! They were employed by the Twilight warriors as the silent guardains of their fortress Amon Ere after they abandonded it! He wants to take revenge on the Twilight warrior's for leaving him and his brother their for all of these years alone frozen in stone! Now will you please let me go?" He said in a pained voice.

"Nah, it's much more fun to kill you," Larxene replied before unloading one of her pistols magazines into the guy who slumped to the ground in a pool of his own gore.

"You really are a sadist," Ranger muttered stepping out of the shadows.

Larxene smirked. "Well I don't see the problem since he's dead. Was the information to your liking?"

"Maybe," Ranger replied turning to leave.

"Hey can I be in more chapters?" Larxene asked.

"The fic's almost over woman," Ranger growled.

"Asshole," Larxene muttered kicking the corpse.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC **

Back at the park it was almost sunset and Lilo was still ranting to Ferus.

"And don't even get me started about the way he constantly keeps breaking that darn juke box of his!" Lilo said before sighing and leaning back against the seat.

The large clock tower in the distance chimed of the hour with a ring. Lilo sat up looking alarmed.

"Oh nuts! It's eight o'clock already?" She said standing up.

"You leaving?" Ferus asked.

"Yeah, Ranger's probably going to be back soon! And he'll eat all of the pizza if we don't hurry! Stitch!" She called.

Stitch was in the midst of dozen's of girls who were screaming hysterically over his musical abilities. Lilo shook her head helplessly before turning back to Ferus. "So can I see you tomorrow, maybe you could come over to the shop?"

Ferus smiled. "That sounds nice, I'll see about it."

Lilo grinned. "Great see you!"

She ran off to Stitch and literally had to drag him out of the crowd of women around him.

"Poor girl, she's living with the Twilight fool," Gollum hissed walking up behind Ferus. Ferus frowned at him.

"You really should annouce yourself," Ferus suggested.

"Very well master, we shall announce ourselves next time," Gollum replied.

"What is it that you want?" Ferus asked.

"We just though we'd be nice and warn nice master that his brother Docen is going to face the Twilight fool tonight at his own shop." Gollum hissed before laughing wickedly.

Ferus's eyes widened in alarm and he jumped and ran after Lilo's retreating back as Gollum continued to laugh.

The sun dipped below the horizon as Ranger walked down the darkened streets.

Docen walked down the streets in a brooding silence with many stairs from passers by at his odd dress choice.

Ferus ran furiously but he feared that he wouldn't make it in time.

Ranger quickened his pace to a decent trot as he glanced at his watch.

Docen continued to stroll confidently down the streets his lips pursed with anticipation.

Ferus whiped around a corner to missing a stride jumping over a cart of cabages which fell over spilling it's contense across the street. The vendor gave a scream.

"MY CABAGES!!" He screamed.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC **

Docen pushed open the door to Fanfiction May Cry raising his swords, but the shop was empty.

"He's not here brother," Ferus said stepping out of the shadows.

"Then where is he?" Docen demanded.

Meanwhile several blocks away Ranger came to a stop in front of Pop's diner and stared at the closed shine.

"Shit," he muttered.

Back at Fanfiction May Cry Docen closed the door glaring at his brother.

"You should not have come Ferus," he growled.

"And let you murder him?" Ferus shot back.

"The Twilight Warriors left us to rot! Their order is dead!" Docen snarled. "He's the last of the rats."

"That's not true..." Ferus started but Docen cut him off.

"Prove me wrong! Where are the other Twilight Warrior's? They're dead that's what! Dead and in their graves! What evidence have you come across that could prove that the Twilight Warriors are still a force to be reckoned with?" Docen demanded.

Ferus lowered his head not speaking.

"With the Twilight Warriors gone the most we can do is put this last one out of his misery." Docen said.

"I can't let you do that," Ferus replied suddenly gripping a hand around one of the ornamental swords on the walls. He yanked it off it's stand and raised it into a ready grip. "I will not allow you to ruin the three pillars utterly."

"With that blade?" Docen scoffed. "Why don't you summon it? Your sword Umtorna?"

"I swore to never use that sword again," Ferus replied sharply.

Docen smirked. "Then there is no point in me fighting you if you refuse to go full force."

He turned to leave and Ferus lowered his sword.

"Brother!" Ferus said stepping forward. Docen raised one of his swords at him.

"If he returns, tell him to meet me in the park." Docen said before exiting out the front door. There was a clap of thunder and the rain came. Ferus returned the sword to it's place on the wall and slumped over on the couch.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC **

Ten or Twenty minutes later the door to Fanfiction May cry opened again and Ranger stepped in dripping wet with rain water. He took of his wet cloak and with a curse flung it onto the coat rack.

"God I hate rain," Ranger growled.

"Leave now," Ferus said suddenly, once more emerging from the shadows.

Ranger turned to him and frowned.. "No way, this is my place. It maybe a dump but the rents cheap."

"You don't understand!" Ferus snapped. "My brother Docen is going to kill you. He's waiting for you in the park."

"By the statue of Jeremaih?" Ranger asked frowning.

Ferus nodded. "Most likely. He want's to kill you and take revenge."

Ranger smirked and made his way over to his desk.

"If that's the case, then what do you want to kill me for?" Ranger asked, turning around to see Ferus gripping a sword. Ferus gritted his teeth as the lightning crackled and the thunder roared.

"You are a Twilight warrior, one of the last. If the Twilight warriors die out the rest of the three pillars will go with them. But instead of activly working to restore the order you sit in this shop making money off of mercenary work and flaunting the power of the three pillars for you profit! If I take your power then I can use it to restore the Twilight Warriors and save the three pillars." Ferus answered angrily.

Ranger sighed. "You couldn't handle my power buddy. I can't even handle it all."

Ferus frowned and lowered the sword.

"I'm only using twenty five percent of my power most of the time. Twenty five percent of the rest is for emergency's and the other fifty is unstable. I'd kill myself in three minutes if I used that." Ranger replied picking up his cloak and tossing it into the bathroom to dry. Then he went upstairs leaving Ferus standing there in the office thoughts racing. Could he handle that much power? If the last Twilight Warrior couldn't handle it...

"I suggest you get going," Ranger said about seven minutes later as he came down the steps. He was now dressed in a long tailed dark green coat, with a black vest over it. His sword was no longer in it's guitar case but on his back seeming to hang there of it's own accord. In his hands were Sol and Luna. He reached the wooden floor and began to walk towards the exit.

"If your brother is looking for a fight," Ranger said shoving Sol and Luna into their holster's on his back. "Then I'm more than happy to abolige."

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC **

About twenty minutes later Docen stood in the park staring at the statue of Jeremaih the half blood, the first Twilight Warrior. The artist had done a very nice depiction of the half darkside half balance Twilight Warrior. The artist had even managed to scratch in a look to the eyes that just screamed a past filled with pain and sorrow.

The rain dripping around him formed into pools that reflected the black stormy sky and the flashes of lightning above that were rapidly followed by the pounding of thunder. The puddles also gave him an extra set of eyes. Amidst the rain he heard the tramp of boots. He turned about to face Ranger as he approached. Docen's expression was stoney.

"So you came actually?" Docen said coldly.

Ranger smirked.

"Well a fight every now and then does keep life interesting," he said reaching onto his back and pulling out his sword with a flash. With a single stroke he sent the water droplets flying off of the sword and into the puddles. Lightning flashed again and made Ranger sword breifly appear golden in the night. The thunder roared.

Docen smirked as well raising his arms out. Out of a cloud of darkness his two swords appeared and he caught them in his hands. He spun them around, threw them into the air and caught them again as the lightning flashed again and made his black broad swords turn ivory in the breifest of moments.

"Indeed," he replied. "Allow me to introduce you to my swords. This is Rengoto and this is Lucian." He said first raising his left then his right sword.

Ranger furrowed his brow amidst rain droplets dripping into his hair. "Well let's see how they go up against Ddraig s Caul," he said before beckoning with his fingers to Docen. "Let's see what you can do."

Docen snarled and charge at Ranger swords ready! With a mighty yell he swung at Ranger with Rengoto but Ranger parried and countered with Ddraig s Caul. Docen back stepped and swung Lucain at Ranger's head; but Ranger ducked the stroke and made a slash at Docen's chest. The Darkside swordsmen jumped back to aviod the blow. Then the two charged eachother again and locked swords against one another in a furious battle of strength!

Docen won and Ranger was thrown back. He crashed into a puddle and Docen lunged at him!

"I've got you now!" He shouted!

At the last second Ranger rolled out of the way and slashed at Docen's right arm as he smashed his blades into the flagstone plaza. Blood lined Ddraig s Caul leading edge. Docen cursed as he looked at his ruined right coat sleeve and the long gash on his arm running from his elbow to his shoulder.

"You'll pay for that!" He snarled striking back at Ranger who back stepped to avoid the blow. But before Ranger could recover Docen hammered him with a rain of heavy blows with Rengoto and Lucian! Ranger parried and dodged as best as he could but Rengoto knicked him on the elbow and cut through his coat drawing blood and Lucian clipped him on the hip!

Finally however Ranger caught both swords with Ddraig s Caul. Then with a mighty heave he threw Docen back and slashed at him vicously with Ddraig s Caul. Docen blocked Rengoto and tried to counter with Lucian but Ranger reverse stabbed him in the arm with Ddraig s Caul! Docen curse but then laughed as yanked his ruined limb off the blade.

"Yes! This is it! Show me everything you have Twilight Warrior! Give me a battle worth dying in!" He proclaimed before counter attacking with Rengoto only as he dropped Lucian.

Ranger blocked his blow but gave way before Docen's strength! Docen moved in for the kill but Ranger pivoted on his right foot around Docen and sunk Ddraig s Caul into Docen's chest with a sickening thunk. Docen gave a gasp of pain as Ddraig s Caul came out the front of his chest right through the rib cage. Rengoto slipped from his hand and fell to the ground with a clang. Lightning flashed again and the thunder roared.

Docen chuckled as blood began to drip from his mouth. "Well done, Twilight warrior. Well done."

Ranger pulled Ddraig s Caul out of Docen's chest and with a flick of his blade the blood went splattering into the puddles, dyeing them dark red. Docen fell forward onto the ground, dead.

"BROTHER!!" Ferus screamed!

Ranger turned to see the other Darkside standing by the bench where he'd sat with Lilo. He was shaking horribly and his eyes were wide with anger.

"You... You..." He said glaring at Ranger eyes watering. But even as tears poured down his face to mix with the rain his skin turned a violent purple and his eyes flashed red.

"YOU BASTARD!!" He screamed raising his hand! A massive single edge sword burst from a cloud of dark energy and Ferus caught it in his hands.

"DIE!!" He screamed charging Ranger who's eyes flashed as he swung Ddraig s Caul to face Ferus!

The lightning flashed again! The Thunder roared! There came the sound of a sword slicing through flesh and a scream of agony.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

The next day at Fanfiction May Cry Lilo stepped in the front door followed by Stitch.

"Morning Ranger!" She called.

Then she saw Ranger lying on the couch with his eyes fast shut, his elbow and hip bandaged, and dirt covering his fingers.

"He been out all night," Stitch said poking Ranger.

Back at the park two mounds of earth had been raised of under the bows of a tree and sheltered by some bushes. At the head of each mound were the weapons of the two darksides.

Gollum snickered wickedly as he wrapped a hand around Ferus's sword Umtorna.

"The Twilight fool does our work for us again, yes my Precious," he hissed before releasing one of his throaty coughs. "We must thank him soon, yes we must."

* * *

**Ranger24: And that's it. The last chapter before the epic to part finale! Read and review. **


	20. Chapter 17: Showtime

**Ranger24: Here we go, part one of the epic finale. Please enjoy the asskicking.**

* * *

Chapter 17: SHOWTIME!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Several nights later at some seedy bar near the edge of town. At the bar was a woman with tanned skin, black hair and brown eyes. She was wearing just a simple jacket and pants. But more to the point she was drinking shot after shot of whiskey.

"Bar tender, hit me again," she said setting her glass down on the bar.

The bar tender complied and set down another shot of whiskey in front of her which she promptly shot down.

"You might want to slow it down there missy," said a man walking over to her from a table.

She set the glass down along with her money.

"I'm out of here anyways," She replied simply to the man.

She made her way to the door and without looking back stepped outside into the night. Unpertebed the man followed her.

"It's not exactly safe for a lady like yourself to be wandering around this part of town this late at night." He said following her down the dark streets.

"Is it anywhere?" She asked rehtorically.

"Look no need to get defensive I'm just offering to walk you home," the man said strolling beside her as they passed under a low haning archway.

"It's your neck," she muttered.

Before he could reply he heard a rustling sound above him. He looked up and screamed before a large jagged blade was rammed into his chest shattering his rib cage and slicing up his organs. He was dead before he hit the ground as a large creature landed ontop of the mans corpse raising to strike the woman. She turned about and a white amulet around her neck flashed suddenly with a blue light! The creature wailed in agony as it was utterly vaporized by the light. The woman gazed upon the dead mans corpse and sighed.

"I warned you," she muttered before continuing into the night.

Unbeknowst to her Gollum slipped out of the shadows and snickered evilly.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC **

The next morning at Fanfiction May Cry the office was a total mess. Empty coke cans litered Ranger's desk along with pizza boxes and candy wrappers. The trash can was full to the brim and still Ranger sat at his desk with his feet as usual propped up on his desk while reading a copy of Gun Informer. Stitch was sleeping on the couch curled up in a ball. Lilo meanwhile glared at Ranger as he took no interest in the huge mess that was his office.

"Are you ever going to clean this place up?" She demanded.

"Oh calm down," Ranger replied turning a page of his Magazine.

"Why should I? This place is a pigsty!" Lilo snapped.

"Because by tomorrow it's all going to be gone," Ranger replied.

"Because you're going to make me clean it!" Lilo growled.

"Maybe..." Ranger said casually.

"Well screw you!" Lilo said grabbing the mop and throwing it at him before running out of the shop just as TSS came in. The Vampire Laison took one look at Lilo who was promptly followed out by Stitch, then he looked at Ranger who was looking really cross seeing as how he had a mop on his face.

"I take it you just lost your free cleaning service?" TSS asked.

Ranger muttered a curse before sitting up.

"What's the call TSS?" He asked gruffly.

"Well for once I've got a job that's going to pay well for ya'," TSS answered.

"How much is it paying?" Ranger asked.

"Triple the usual amount," TSS replied.

Ranger raised an eyebrow in suprise. "Your joking right?"

"Nope," TSS replied as the door opened again and in stepped the woman from earlier in the chapter. Ranger moved from his desk as she sat down at the couch, he sat down across from her frowning.

"So what's the job?" Ranger asked.

The woman set the white amulet on the table and looked up at him.

"This, I need you to watch this for me for a couple of days. It's a very valuable family heirloom," She answered.

Ranger stared at the amulet and smiled sheepishly at her.

"Yeah I kinda have a bad track record with amulets..."

**FLASHBACK!!!**

_Several years ago... As In still not written FMC 3: Ranger's Awakening..._

_Shade and Ranger stood a top a massive tower in the midst of the city! Shade knocked Ranger's sword out of his hands and then stabbed him with Soul Eater in the stomach! Ranger clutched at the sword for a second before Shade yanked it out and he fell to the stone floor._

_"OW!! Shade what the hell man?" Ranger demanded._

_"It's called a running gag Ranger, from now on in every fic you write your going to be impailed on something," Shade replied smoothly catching Ranger's falling sword. _

_Ranger struggled to push himself off the ground. "Bull shi..." _

_Before he could finish his sentence Shade had impailed him again, this time on his own sword._

**END FLASHBACK!!!**

Ranger glanced up to see the woman leaving and the amulet still on the table.

"Wait what just happened?" Ranger asked quickly.

"While you were flashbacking the two of us closed the deal. Congrats Ranger your stuck with another amulet," TSS answered before slapping Ranger on the back.

Ranger glared at him.

"You know TSS? Sometimes I really fucking hate you."

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Later at pop's diner, Ranger sat at a booth running the amulet through his fingers.

"Hey Ranger where's my money?" Ace suddenly said coming up and snatching the amulet from his hands.

"Potentially, right there," Ranger muttered.

Ace frowned examining the Amulet. "Why does this whole mess seem familar... Oh yeah."

**FLASHBACK!!!**

_Several years ago... Again As In still not written FMC 3: Ranger's Awakening..._

_Ace sat on a rock atop the tower reloading one of her many hand guns. _

_Suddenly cold laughter filled the air and she shot to her feet raising her weapon._

_"What are you doing here little lady?" A voice said as the laughter ended. "Your up quiet a pit past your bed time my dear."_

_She turned about to see a man with pale skin and long black hair... And eye shadow._

_"Oh well look who it is," he said smirking._

_Ace glared at him and raised her gun to shoot him._

_"Oh come now my dear, you'd shoot an old friend?" He asked._

_"You're not a friend," Ace growled before opening fire. _

_The man moved with blinding speed, in the blink of an eye he had Ace by the arm._

_"You really should learn to respect your elders!" He said before actually flinging Ace off the tower! Ace fired her pistol again but only suceed in scratching his cheek with one of the bullets! He glanced at the cut feeling the blood drip onto his fingers. _

_Far below Ranger walked out onto a ledge on the outer side of the tower and glanced up at the sky. A look of suprise crossed his face. He threw out his hand just in time to catch Ace by the leg before she could plummeted to her death._

_"Holy shit, I've heard of it raining cats and dogs, even men! But women? That's a new one by me." He said in a bemused tone._

_Ace glared at him and pointed her pistol at his face._

_"Let me go you pervert!" She snapped._

_Ranger scoffed. "So what you can fall to your..." _

_Before he could finish his sentence Ace shot him... In the head._

**END FLASHBACK!!!**

"Hey Ranger think fast!" Ace said tossing Ranger back the amulet before strolling out of the diner.

Ranger sighed and slumped his head against the table.

"Why is it all of these flashbacks involve me getting hurt?" He asked to no one in particular.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC **

Later that evening the woman who had dropped off the pendant sat in a hotel room watching the sunset with a worried look on her face.

"You shouldn't be afriad miss Pelklia," said a male voice.

She turned to the black man who stood by the door. He wore a black coat, black sunglasses, and was bald.

"Why? Because the man you suggested I hire is better at fighting than he looks?" She asked.

"No because Barrack Obama is president, CHANGE BABY CHANGE!" He shouted as the woman had a sweat drop.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC **

Meanwhile Ranger was making his way back to Fanfiction May Cry, the streets were mostly deserted due to people either having dinner or it just being late enough for them to call it a night.

As the sun set however an uneasy feeling began to settle on Ranger, as though unseen eyes were watching him. Cautiously he flicked off Sol and Luna's safties. He was only a few blocks away from Fanfiction May Cry now.

Suddenly he heard a hiss and he dove out of the way just in time to avoid losing his head to a large creature with patchy fur like skin. It stared at him with large black eyes confused.

"What? You're not the normal keeper of the Amulet?" It exclaimed.

"See this is why I hate amulets," Ranger muttered before blasting the creature in the face with Sol and Luna. It howled in agony as blood sprayed from its face and beady eyes! It rushed up the side of the nearest building but Ranger kept firing at it with Luna while unzipping the guitar case and drawing Ddraig s Cual!

He ran up the nearest fire escape and then jumped at the creature sword raised! He rammed in right through the creature and it in turn crashed through the side of the building!

Less than a block away Lilo and Stitch heard the crash and turned to source of the noise. Lilo sighed.

"Oh great, Ranger's killing stuff instead of cleaning the shop!" Lilo groaned.

Meanwhile Ranger and the creature came to a halt the monster was wedged against an alley wall with Ddraig s Cual stuck in it's chest. Ranger stood up, dusted himself off, and reloaded Luna before turning to face the creature again.

"Where is she..." It grugled as blood dripped out it's mouth. "Where is the woman?"

"I have no idea what you talking about," Ranger replied cocking Luna. "But I think it's time you took a dirt nap big guy."

The Creature screamed before Ranger unload Luna's entire magazine into it. When he was finished he stepped out into the street covered in stray fleks of blood.

"Oh my god! Are you alright?!" Came a voice.

Ranger glanced down the street to see the woman from before apporaching with the man in black. Ranger sighed and swung Ddriag s Caul over his shoulder.

"Well if you consider I just got attacked by some freak who was looking for you and brutally murdered him okay, then yes." Ranger replied dryly. He glanced at the man with her and frowned.

"Who's the suit?"

"This is my bodyguard, Agent Bubbles." She replied.

"Please, call me Cobra," He muttered.

"And my name Lewoh," she added.

"Okay," Ranger replied raising an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry we didn't warn you earlier about the fact that that amulet draws monsters towards its owner, it's put you in more danger than I'd like." The woman continued.

"Hey Ranger what the heck is going on here?" Lilo said suddenly as she and Stitch came around the corner behind Ranger. When she saw the woman however she stopped dead in her tracks eyes going wide.

"Mother?" She whispered.

The woman instantly turned and ran into the darkness.

"I'll come by your shop tomorrow and give you the money!" She shouted over her shoulder.

"Mother!" Lilo called after her but she was already gone.

"Mother?" Ranger muttered glancing between Lilo and the place where the woman had been standing. He sighed. "Oh great more headaches for me."

He glanced at Lilo who was staring into the darkness to where her mother had vanished. "Lilo, head on back to the shop I'll meet you there."

"But," Lilo started to say but Ranger cut her off.

"Now missy."

Lilo gave an indignant huff and stalked away.

Ranger than turned to Cobra. "You know anything about that?"

Cobra removed his sun glasses and whiped them off with a rag from his pocket. "Miss Pleklia did have a daughter some years ago. Do to the risks involved with the amulet she didn't want the child to be used against her."

"As bait you mean?" Ranger asked.

"Exactly," Cobra answered.

"So what exactly does the amulet do?" Ranger asked.

"That's confidential. In you line of work I believe it's best not to ask to many questions to the one who's paying you the cash." Cobra said coolly.

Ranger sighed picking up his guitar case and replaceing Ddraig s Caul. "Fine, but there had better be plenty of cash for putting up with all of this bullshit."

Then he turned and walked off into the darkness.

Behind him Cobra smriked drawing out a large knife and walking over to dead creatures corpse.

"Yes you will be paid," he said raising his knife. "Twilight fool."

Then he plunged his knife into the creatures neck and began to remove it's head.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC **

The next afternoon at Fanfiction May Cry Ranger was once again sitting at his desk with his feet propped up on the hard wood surface which was still covered in junk. Lilo was playing pool with Stitch while TSS sipped as usual, from a wine glass of blood.

"Seriously dude I think you need to go easier on that stuff." Ranger said to TSS.

"Hey with all of the blood I've drunk this fic I'll be good for a couple weeks," TSS replied cheerily.

"When is she going to get her?" Lilo asked in an anxious tone.

"Look Lilo just calm down okay," Ranger said slipping his eye lids shut. "I'm sure she's only taking her time to do something with her nails or whatever."

Ranger got a mop thrown at his face for that, and his chair fell over. Lilo promptly snatched the amulet off the desk and ran out the door followed by Stitch.

"Sonova bitch!" Ranger snarled pushing himself to his feet.

"Oh calm down, like you didn't see that coming?" TSS asked.

Ranger sighed, "True, knowing how much crap I'll have to put up with in these fics."

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC **

Meanwhile at the hotel where Lewoh was staying for some reason she woke up to find herself tied to a chair. There was Pentical drawn on the floor with strange smybols and runes drawn in a circle around the star. At each point of the pentical was an object. The claws of the beast Ranger slew in chapter eight, mask of the beast from chapter twelve, Al Gore's fangs as man bear pig, and the swords of Ferus and Docen.

"What's going on?" She muttered trying to see anything in the dim light.

"Why it's my plan coming to fruition," said a calm and yet cold voice from behind her. She glanced over her shoulder to see Cobra Bubbles extracating himself from the darkness.

"Bubbles? What are you doing?" She demanded.

Cobra laughed sinisterly. Lewoh's eyes widened in alarm.

"You're not Bubbles. Who are you!?" She demanded.

"It's time for me to reveal myself then," Cobra replied grabbing at the side of his face. He pulled and the skin ripped off along with the clothes to reveal Gollum standing there snickering. "And my true voice thanks to 4kids TV!" Gollum proclaimer in a voice that sounded like a crack addicted lephrecaun!

"Wait 4kids!" Lewoh exclaimed in alarm!

"Yes!" Gollum cackled. "You see my dear once I set everything up to destory the barrier protecting this site known as 4kids will be able to enter and censor every single fanfiction here on this pathetic site!"

"You can't cernsor the internet." Lewoh objected.

"Ah that's where you're wrong, you see censoring isn't enough." Gollum said waving a finger at her. "You see the internet is so full of trash that is corrupting the youth of tomorrow and making them think they can actually do something with their lives and prepare them for the real world! Once we've censored not only Fanfiction; but Deviantart, Youtube, Yahoo, fanart central, , Dubhappy, Vehoo, Hulu, and megavideo the world will be ours! Thus 4kids can brainwash the youth of today and tomorrow into being as blank and one dimesional as the cast of Yugioh!"

"You bastards!" Lewoh shouted.

"Save your breath missy, 4kids isn't ready to be summoned yet. I just need two more peices to this puzzle for 4kids to rule the world." Gollum proclaimed.

"And those would be?" Lewoh asked confused.

"First we need the the amulet you carried around for so long, the Pen of Xing Li." Gollum admitted.

"The amulet of the man who created !" Lewoh said alarmed.

"Yes, if I break it's power of giving people the power to write whatever they want in fanfics without fear of being censored as long as they meet the very low standards of the site, 4kids can enter and destroy this site." Gollum explained.

"But Xing Li was smart and put a second seal, this one requireing that an author with atleast one hundred reviews be placed in the gate way between 4kids and the internet. Those authors are normally very powerfull and have some dignity not to right utter bullshit fanfics." Gollum finished.

"Ranger," Lewoh whispered.

Gollum nodded egarly. "Yes the twilight fool was very help full in my task he gathered me up artefacts with enough power to break Xing Li's Pen. Now I need only wait for him to arrive to try and rescue you and I can be victorious."

"Umm... Question." Lewoh said.

"Yes?" Gollum replied.

"How is he supposed to know to come save me, you didn't exactly leave a ransom note or something, hell he probably doesn't even know were this hotel is." Lewoh said.

Gollum stood there for a moment silent before he groaned. "Shucks."

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC **

Meanwhile in the lobby Lilo slipped inside behind a cart of luggage with Stitch close behind her.

"Good thing I stole the hotel address from TSS's pocket," Lilo muttered as she and Stitch ran for the elevator.

Meanwhile at Fanfiction May Cry...

"My god were the hell is she?" Ranger groaned.

"Hey Ranger have you noticed that Lilo took the amulet and ran off without saying anything to either of us?" TSS asked.

Ranger stared at his vampire laison for a moment before he groaned.

"Oh fuck me."

Seconds later TSS's warthog was roaring down the streets with Ranger in passenger seat holding on for dear life as TSS ripped around tight corners.

"Christ man! I know it's really fucking bad but can you not drive like this is wheel man?" Ranger demanded as they nearly crashed into a fire hydrant.

"Greased lightning!" TSS proclaimed.

Meanwhile back at the hotel Lilo opened a door to find a very odd sight involving the guy who was playing highstakes chess on the Casino ship in chapter fourteen with the two chicks who were wearing the bunny suit's tangled together on the bed covered in sweat. Lilo had an anime sweat drop while Stitch pulled out his phone and took a quick picture.

"Sorry wrong room!" Lilo said embaressed.

"Oh yeah, the room you wants at the end of the hall," the highly bishonen Rich guy said motioning to the other side of the corridor.

"Thanks," Lilo said before closing the door quickly and running down the hall with Stitch face still red.

They opened the door to find Gollum standing beside Lewoh with a knife to her throat.

"Mother!" Lilo cried out in both joy and fear.

"Lilo run!" She said eyes darting between Gollum and the door.

Tears filled Lilo's eyes. "You really, are my mom aren't you."

"Hate to interuppt this touching reunion," Gollum hissed pressing his knife against Lewoh's throat. "But unless you have the amulet she dies."

Lilo gulped and pulled out the amulet.

"Lilo don't give it to him, run!" Lewoh screamed before Gollum clampedone of his thin fingered hands around her lips. "You should hush up now."

He gestured his knife to the center of the pentical. "Place the amulet there girl!"

Lilo slowly walked towards the center of the pentical's center while Stitch growled intimidatingly at Gollum. Then when she reached the center she placed the amulet on the floor and backed away.

"My mother?" She asked hoping Gollum wouldn't do what she was afriad of.

Gollum smirked and slashed the ropes holding Lewoh in place before kicking the chair over and dropping his knife forming handsigns.

"Mom!" Lilo shouted running over to his mother.

"Christ kid can you not cause the end of the world for five minutes?" Ranger asked suddenly as he rushed in the room followed by TSS. Ranger drew out Ddraig s Caul glaring at Gollum.

"You!" He shouted.

"Yes! But you're to late to stop me now!" Gollum shouted as beams of light shot from the five groups of objects and then collided with the amulet! The runes and symbols on the ground glowed wickedly and Gollum laughed as the amulet finally shattered! A strange blue vortex opened up in the floor and Gollum chackled.

"Fear the mighty power of 4kids!" He screeched before diving into the vortex.

Ranger muttered a curse.

"TSS get everyone out of the building!" He shouted running forward and diving into the vortex

"Ranger!" Lilo cried out but he was gone!

TSS grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her and her mother to their feet. "Come on we've got to get the hell out of here!"

The run back to the lobby was a blur for Lilo as they rushed down stairs with TSS and Stitch banging on every door they ran passed and yelling for people to flee.

By the time they were in the Lobby TSS and Stitch had gathered a large crowd of guests. The Desk man frowned at the vampire. "Excuse me sir but what the hell are you doing, is there a problem?" He demanded.

TSS grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt.

"There's an a problem alright! There's and apocolypse on the top floor and your elevator's aren't working!" TSS snapped.

Suddenly the entire building shook and the lights flickered ominously!

"Everyone outside now!" TSS shouted before leading the charge out side into the now present night.

There came a loud boom and a roar and everyone turned to stare at the hotel. The top floor was glowing an erie blue. Lewoh fell to her knees.

"It's over, 4kids has come!" She whipsered horrified.

"I'm sure Ranger can handle it," Lilo said brushing off her mothers worry.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC **

Elsewhere in some dark place where only a dim grey light filled the emptiness a single sword could be seen, Ddraig s Caul. Blood ran down it's blade and onto it's hilt from what it had been stabbed through.

And there was Ranger, impailed upon his own sword to a crucifix. His face pale, his eyes closed, and blood dripping down has hair onto his face...


	21. Chapter 18: SSStylish!

Chapter 18: SSStylish!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Several minutes previously...

Ranger squared off with Gollum in a strange dark depressing place, it was like something coughed forth from hell.

"You mind telling me where we are?" Ranger demanded.

"This is where all the violence and none kid freindly content in anime's 4kids has dubbed ends up," Gollum replied. "This place is formed by the agony of the hardcore fans who live with the barrel of a loaded gun pressed under their chin as they watch our butchery of anime's like Yugioh and One Peice."

"You bastard," Ranger growled raising Luna and opening fire! Gollum screamed in agony as bullets ripped through his scrawny none bishonnen body. His left leg was blown apart in the barage and crashed to the ground followed by the rest of Gollum who lay on the ground in a pool of his own gore. Ranger lowered the still smoking Luna and frowned.

"Okay that was way to easy," he muttered.

"HOW RIGHT YOU ARE!" Gollum's voice called.

Before Ranger's very eyes Gollum's body desolved into a pool of black gunk. Ranger's eyes shot down to his feet and saw to his alarm Gollum's head rising out of the floor! He jumped back and Gollum's massive head lunged at him jaws wide open!

"You cannot defeat 4kids!" Gollum proclaimed as Ranger jumped over his head.

Gollum shot out of floor rising up jaws wide open as Ranger slapped a fresh magazine into Luna and took aim...

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Present.

"We're doomed," Lewoh moaned as she stared at the asphalt street.

"Get a hold of youself woman!" TSS snapped pulling her to her feet. "There has to be some more exposition before we make an actual plan!"

"Oh I can handke exposition," Ace said bringing her motor bike to a halt next to them. "See 4kids is going to takeover the world by controling the internet, the most powerful media outlet around. See after busting the Pen and using Ranger as Mcguffin, we're utterly screwed."

TSS nodded. "Ah it makes perfect sense."

"No it doesn't!" Lilo snapped.

"Holy shit look at that!" Some random extra screamed.

Everyone looked up to see a massive winged creature with horns and overly large fore arms.

"Holy," Ace started.

"Shit," TSS finished.

4kids broke off a peice of the hotel and threw it down at them! A little kid screamed as it closed in on him!

Suddenly a blast of lightning came flying out of the darkness and destroyed the falling debrie! Everyone turned about to see Larxene strolling towards them, pistol in one hand knives in the other.

"I take it I made it just in time for the epic battle sequence?" She said casually.

"Yeah just about," TSS replied.

"So any idea's how to kill that thing?" Ace asked.

TSS thought it over for a moment. "Okay from what it said in the exposition the portal is being kept open by Ranger, if we can release Ranger the portal should close up."

"Okay that solves one problem but how do we kill the power of 4kids?!" Ace demanded.

"Well 4kids hates anything particularly decent in regards to anime. Just look at One peice and Yugioh!" TSS replied.

"But we can't risk any decent animes like Code Geass or Bleach!" Lilo shot back.

"What about Naruto?" Stitch suggested.

"GOOD anime's Stitch. Good was the key word there!" TSS snapped.

"But Naruto good," Stitch replied.

"Episodes 130 to 240 all filler!" TSS snapped.

"And let's not forget the side filler," Larxene added.

"Why don't we overwhelm it with crappy refrences?" Lilo suggested.

"How would that help?" Ace demanded.

"Didn't anyone watch Last Exile abridged?" Lilo asked.

"What's Last Exile?" Larxene asked.

Lilo sighed. "Okay listen, Ranger is badass right? So that makes 4kid's defenses badass. But if refrences counter badass then if we use enough refrences we can over power their defenses and lead to a crushing victory!"

"Wait for us?" Larxene asked.

"Yes, now as the McGuffin girl I have to go charging into that burning building to save Ranger." Lilo replied before running towards the hotel followed by Stitch!

"Lilo wait!" Lewoh shouted running after her daughter.

"Hey wait a second what refrences should we use?" Ace called after them.

TSS ran after them. "Try ghost busters or Lord of the rings!"

Ace stared blankly at TSS and the others as they ran away.

"Wait did they just ditch us?" She asked.

"Yeah," Larxene said before glancing about at the dozens of 4kids employes around them. "So back to back badassery?" She suggested pulling up her pistols.

Ace sighed pulling up her SMG and a pistol. "Sure, got your stick?"

Larxene smirked. "Hold it."

"Heat it up." Ace said taking aim.

"Smoking," Larxene replied taking aim as well.

"Let's shot these prehistoric bastards how we do things down town," Ace said before they both commenced fire. The 4kids employees screeched in pain and charged them even as they were merciliously gunned down.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Meanwhile inside TSS reloaded his MP5 as Stitch finished off two of the last 4kids employees in the lobby. Dozens of 4kids mooks lay dead around the room and Lilo and Lewah had a double sweat drop.

"Can we avoid senseless murder?" Lilo asked.

"Be queit and keep refrencing things." TSS growled as they rushed for the stair case.

"Meega gonna get real dizy," Stitch moaned as they rounded the bend up to the second floor.

"Not bad Stitch but we'll need more refrences than that obsucre one." TSS commented.

As they climbed the stairs however however a knife came flying down at them and they jumped back nearly falling down the staircase. They looked up to see a woman with pale skin and red eyes. She smirked at them pulling out several more knives.

"If you are planning to reach the portal I'm afriad you will not be doing anything to help your friend." She said baring two sharp fangs.

TSS smirked.

"A fellow vampire?" He said pulling up his MP5. "Well let's see how a 4kids vampire fares against one who is liscensed by Dark Horse comics."

He glanced at Lilo, Lewoh, and Stitch. "You guys cut across the next floor and continue on up, I'll handle this."

"But TSS! You've been a Secondary character all story!" Lilo said alarmed.

"I'll be fine, this is my first real fight scene all story, now go!" TSS shot back.

Lilo took one last look at TSS before she, Lewoh, and Stitch ran through the door to the second floor.

TSS smirked taking aim at the vampire.

"Mind if I ask your name so the writer doesn't have to keep calling you other vampire or she?" TSS asked.

"My name is Selena," the other vampire snapped.

"Well then let's get to the senseless violence then," TSS said.

"My pleasure!" Selena said diving down at him throwing a knife at him! TSS opened fire with his MP5, Selena was riped up byt he bullets as her knife went flying right into TSS's head! The two collapsed to the ground blood spraying from their wounds. They lay still for a few seconds before Selena began to snicker. Then TSS began to laugh as he yanked Selena's knife out of his head. Selena pushed herself off the ground poping out the bullets he'd fired at her.

"Well this might just be fun!" Selena laughed charging TSS drawing another knife.

TSS grinned wickedly. "Well then let's keep the party going!"

Then he meet her charge yanking out his crowbar and they clashed crowbar to knife! THey spilt apart and enaged in a furious close quarters brawl with crowbar and knife! Every now and again TSS fired off a burst from his MP5 and Selena would stumble back and take revenge with her knife going into his shoulder.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Meanhwhile outside utter badassery reined as Ace and Larxene pwned the 4kids employees. Larxene had lightning, bullets, and knives flying in all directions while Ace got in close and brutal with point blank shooting. And of course they had to refrence something so...

"Twenty-two already!" Ace called to Larxene blowing the head off another four kids employee.

"I'm on thirty seven!" Larxene called back!

"Oh am not having some blonde Equare Enix character outscoring me!" Ace snarled blasting another 4kids employee in the groin before finishing him with a curb stomp.

Suddenly a slimy something wrapped itself around her leg and yanked her into the air with a cry! She looked down as she hung up side down at a large bulbous creature with large fangs and dozens of large tentecals.

"Oh crap! These guys are so depraved their going for tentecal!" She said alarmed.

"Well drag their asses, kicking and screaming into the twenty first century!" Larxene snapped.

Ace yanked up her rocket launcher and fired it right into the creatures mouth! "No Tentecal rape! This is rated T for a reason!"

The rocket hit home and blasted the creature apart. Blood and entrails splashed across Ace as she fell to the ground and landed.

"Oh great," she muttered looking at her ruined biker suit. "Now they think they can pull fan service using me."

She ripped off her suit to reveal her usual atire underneath. "Sorry, no fanservice."

Then she brought up her launcher and fired it into the crowds of 4kids mooks blowing them apart effortlessly.

"I think I'm losing count!" She called to Larxene who broke another enemy's neck with a swift kick to the under side of his head.

"Oh nobody likes a show of," Larxene snapped.

"Indeed," Said a smooth voice.

The two of them turned about to see a man with long blonde and extremely bishonnen looks hefting a large zweihander.

"Who the hell are you supposed to be?" Larxene demanded.

"My name is Hamelton. I'm here on the orders of 4kids to stop you two from being badass." He said simply.

"What?" Ace demanded.

"You see, we can't allow female characters to do anything impressive or it will make the main male character look bad and more capable of being straight. Thus we have to turn the two of you into useless and ineffectual support characters, like Sakura until the chunin Exams." Hamelton replied.

"Like hell!" Larxene snapped firing her pistols at him only to have him block them with his massive sword.

"I'm also here to increase increase the shoujo in this series to appeal to the fangirls." Hamelton added.

"Okay! That's where I draw the line!" Ace snarled firing a rocket at him which he dodged.

"Now hold still so I can make you useless and ineffectual," he said striding towards them.

Larxene glanced at Ace.

"Kick his ass and worry about the small fries later?" She suggested.

"You know it," Ace growled.

Then with feirce cries they charged him weapons ready! Hamelton smirked and swung his zweihander with incredible speed due to it's size! Ace rolled out of the way while Larxene jumped back and opened fire with her pistols! The bullets however stopped just inches from hitting his body.

"My shoujo armor protects me from your womanly bullets," Hamelton explained.

"Womanly? Okay now your just pissing me off!" Larxene snapped charging up a lighting attack as Ace took aim with her launcher. Hamelton laughed and twirled his sword through his fingers.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Meanwhile Lilo, Lewoh, and Stitch where making their way higher into the hotel Lilo looking rather put out.

"I can't believe they cut our make up scene." She complained.

"It's called the author wants to give some side characters badass fight scenes," Lewoh explained.

"Well it sucks," Lilo muttered.

Suddenly the wall below them exploded and TSS came flying through covered in blood followed by Selena who had her knives ready.

"TSS!" Lilo shouted in alarm.

She tried to run to his help but Lewoh grabbed her by the shoulders!

"No! He's fighting his solo fight! You can't interfer!" She exclaimed.

"But TSS needs help!" Lilo shot back.

"Now you die! I'm three ttimes as hot as Seras!" Selena shouted in excitement

Just as Selena was going to land the death blow however TSS shoved his crowbar into her chest right through her heart. Selena stood there for a moment clutching at her wound. TSS snarled and stood up. He twisted the crowbar in her chest.

"You bitch, no vampires hotter than Seras, have you seen those honkers of hers?" He demanded.

"In 4kids anime's breasts have a size limit..." Selena whispered.

"Sucks to be you then," TSS said simply before yanking his crowbar out and watching Selena collapse into ash.

TSS sighed and then rushed up to join them.

"I miss anything?" He asked.

"Just our screen time being cut," Lilo growled.

"Well that sucks for you now come on," TSS said before leading them up the stairs.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Meanwhile outside Ace and Larxene were having quiet a hard time of it with Hamelton. All of their attacks were failing to hit him and he was simply doing a basic sword slash attack on them ith his huge ass Zweihander. And now he was keeping them from refrencing stuff.

"My god this is annoying!" Larxene snarled as she dove behind a car with Ace.

"You have any idea's on how to kill this guy?" Ace asked reloading her rocket launcher.

Larxene shook her head. "We maybe channeling Lady and Trish's character in this fic but even their not awesome enough to kill this guy."

"Then who is awesome enough?" Ace demanded.

Larxene frowned rubbing her gloved fingers together.

"Well?" Ace demanded.

"I'm thinking!" Larxene snapped. "But it's hard! The DOA chicks won't work, Tifa's not awesome enough, and any other female characters always get shown up by their male counter parts."

"Then we need one who never gets shown up except by other girls," Ace replied. Then they both paused as the answer dawned on them.

"Starbuck," they both said at the same time.

"So how we going to pull this off?" Ace asked.

"Start with saying frak and taking no shit from anyone?" Larxene suggested.

"But we don't have anyone around to take shit from," Ace pointed out.

"Then we'll have to do Starbuck and Kat," Larxene answered.

"But I haven't watched enough Battlestar! Who's Kat?" Ace asked.

Larxene pulled out her zune and pressed play. "Thank god for downloading full length episodes of TV shows."

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Meanwhile in the hotel TSS, Lilo, Stitch, and Lewoh finally reached the top floor of the hotel.

"Okay which room were we in?" Lilo asked.

"I don't remember," TSS said.

"The end room," Lewoh said leading to end. They made their way down the corridor and TSS kicked down the door. Inside the room the lines of the symbols and scripts still glowed on the ground with a small white beam of light going from floor to ceiling.

"Okay how do we close the portal?" TSS asked.

"What you expect me to know?" Lewoh demanded. "I'm a minor character!"

"Oh great," TSS moaned.

"Uh, big trouble!" Stitch yelped looking over his shoulder.

Everyone turned about to see dozens of 4kids mooks come swooping in on trails of smoke! TSS yanked up his MP5 and pulled the trigger but not even a single round was spat forth from the sub machine gun.

"Fuck! Out of ammo!" TSS snarled tossing aside the empty weapon and pulling up his crowbar as the mooks swooped in! Lilo and Lewoh sheild their faces with their hands while TSS and Stitch got ready to fight!

Suddenly the small locket around Lilo's neck flashed white and the 4kids mooks screamed as they evaporated! TSS and Stitch blinked in suprise while Lilo looked down at the locket around her neck. TSS raised an eyebrow in suprise at the sight of it.

"Is that a peice of the pen?" TSS asked.

"More like a smaller scale copy," Lewoh said. "It can hold of the 4kids mooks but anything stronger and it won't stop them."

Lilo glanced at the portal, then at her locket. Then she screwed up her face and rushed at the portal!

"Lilo!" Lewoh shouted in alarm!

Before anyone could stop her Lilo jumped into the portal and vanished!

"Oh crap!" TSS said as more 4kids mooks came through the door! Stitch snarled and leapt at the mooks. TSS not to be out done charged forward as well to join the furious battle! The two of them beat, bite, and bashed every single one of the 4kids mooks. They showed no mercy as blood splashed across the floor.

Suddenly the mooks stopped coming and TSS and Stitch paused confused as there came the sound of foot steps.

Then through the door came a man with long dark hair and green eyes. He had a thin face but he was wearing heavy body armor. At his side was a blade with a strange heart shaped hilt. To say the least the image didn't seem to fit with the rest of him. He was short and not much taller than around five feet.

"You really have done well," He said smoothly resting his hand on the pommel of his sword. "You defeated Selena and made it to the top of the hotel. However the joy ride ends here. 4kids has ordered that I reign you all in."

"And who the hell are you?" TSS demanded.

The man laughed and smirked. "Maybe this will remind you."

He screwed up his face and released an awful whooping cough. "Gollum! Gollum!"

Their eyes widened in alarm and TSS raised his crowbar.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Meanwhile below in the streets Hamelton strood down the streets searching for Larxene and Ace. He casually slashed a car in his path in half before resting his Zweihander on his shoulder.

"Come on out ladies, are my sexy bishonnen good looks to much for you?"

Suddenly Larxene jumped out from behind cover pulling out her throwing knives! She swung them at Hamelton and a blast shot from her weapons at the bishonnen bastard. He swung down his Zweihander and redirected the attack into the concrete. Larxene shot past him firing more blast of lightning at him.

"Take that you fraking toaster!" She shouted as he turned to follow her. He smirked.

"A battlestar galactica refrence as obscure as that won't beat me," He said before charging after her. Her speed however was just barely enough to keep him from reaching her. She jumped over an SUV and Hamelton cut right through it with his massive sword.

"Come on! Show a little of that back bone!" Hamelton taunted.

Larxene suddenly spun about and charged him. Hamelton smirked and swung a mighty two handed stroke at her! She slid right under the blow however and jumped into the air! He whirled about to face her but what he came face to face with was Ace's rocket launcher. His eyes widened in alarm and he tried to raise his sword but was to late. Ace's rocket hit him right in the chest! There was a flash of flames and the mighty blast of the explosion.

When the smoke cleared Hamelton collapsed to his knees as Larxene landed gracefully beside Ace a sadistic smirk on her face.

"What took you so long?" She asked Ace.

"Stopped for coffee," Ace replied.

"Not quiet a refrence to the season two episode Scar but hey it worked." Larxene said cheerily.

"You little..." Hamelton hissed out.

Ace and Larxene rolled their eyes and yanked out their pistols.

"Just shut up and die," they both said at the same time before blasting his head open like a gourd. Hamelton's lifeless body collapsed to the ground, headless.

"By the way nice refrence to the finale," Larxene said turning to Ace.

"That was in the finale?" Ace said suprised.

Larxene sighed. "Nevermind."

Then they both turned to face the hotel and the massive creature on top of it.

"So any bright idea's on how to bring that guy down?" Ace asked.

"Every watched X men?" Larxene asked.

Ace's eye's brightened. "Are you kidding? I love Wolverine!"

"Yeah to bad the movie was a bust in the reviews," Larxene lamented. "Sure the speacil affects were good but apperantly some people felt it lack substance."

"Well screw them!" Ace snapped.

"Anyways, fast ball speacil?" Larxene suggested.

Ace raised an eyebrow. "Two large problems with your plan. One niether of us has the strength to throw the other to the top of a twenty story hotel; two neither of us has adamantium claws."

"Then we'll improvise," Larxene replied.

Larxene ran to the top of a near by over pass.

"You fire a rocket! I'll do the rest!" She shouted.

"Alright!" Ace replied lifting her launcher and taking aim at the beast a top the hotel. She fired off the rocket and it shot into the air, screaming towards the creature.

Then Larxene jumped from the overpass and in a flash of light landed on the Rocket riding it like a surf board. Ace raised an eyebrow.

"Isn't Ranger supposed to do that in Fanfiction May Cry 3?" She shouted.

"Hasn't been written yet!" Larxene called back charging the rocket with lightning before throwing of her sunglasses. A feral grin split across her face as she jumped off the rocket at the last second and the lightning charged missile slammed into the creature with a deafening boom! Larxene warped right next to Ace about four feet in the air and landed with her usual cat like grace.

"Not bad eh?" Larxene said with a smirk.

"Wolverine still does it better," Ace pouted.

"Oh calm down, just because Ranger couldn't take you to X-men orgins: Wolverine, before it left theaters is no reason to get all depressed. Just wait for the dvd." Larxene said in annoyed tones.

"Umm... I think it might be a good idea to look up," Ace said pointing up at the hotel's roof.

Larxene raised an eyebrow glancing up at the roof before swearing violently. The creature still stood unharmed by the attack.

"Nothing quiet does as well as the orginal," Ace commented.

"Oh shut up," Larxene growled.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Lilo groaned and opened her eyes to find herself in a bland and undecorated corridor, deviod of life or interest. Several doors lined the walls and she slowly walked over to one of them. She opened it a jar and poked her head through to see line upon line of men and women mindlessly typing away at computers. Poorly thought up motivational posters lined the walls and if any more indentifying marks were need to tell her where she was there was a massive banner at the far end with the 4kids logo on it. Lilo gasped.

"Oh my god, I'm in the one place worse than hell and zionsville Indana! 4kids coperate Head Quarters!!" She said terrified.

"Did you just say several naughty refrences to religon?" A smooth voice said from behind her.

Lilo whirled about to see dozen's a of 4kids security personal standing behind her holding maglites.

"Oh crap," Lilo moaned.

"Naughty language means you must be censored, American kids can't handle that kind of language. We're helping make it so that the world is robbed of all religon, individuality, logic, or personallity thus making it a better place to live," the mook closest to her said.

"Now hold still," another said reaching towards her.

Suddenly the locket flashed again and the mooks cried out in alarm as they were vaporized. Lilo grinned lifting up the locket by it's chain.

"Thank you McGuffin," she said happily before hurrying on down the corridor.

She wandered about for hours and hours slowly going lower and lower into 4kids Head Quarters. After a while she became aware that several 4kids mooks were following her but didn't dare let themselves be caught in the blast from her McGuffin. Then came upon a door marked basement. Hesitantly she opened the door and stepped down onto a dark stair case.

There in the center of the room, in the center of a shaft of light similar to the one in the hotel, was Ranger. He was soaked in blood and impailed to a cross through the heart on his own sword. He hung there motionless, like a macabre mockery of Jesus.

"Ranger!" Lilo called but Ranger didn't answer. He didn't even move.

"Hang on I'm coming!" Lilo shout jumping from the stairs and catching herself on Ranger's sword. She yelped in pain as she felt an intense heat coming from the swords grip. She adjusted her hands to around the cross guard and the pain lessened. She straddled him planting her feet on the arms of the cross tightening her grip on the cross guard.

"Don't worry I'll get this out of you." She said heaving with all her might. The sword however wouldn't budge more than about a centimeter. She gritted her teeth in frustration and tugged again blood trikleing from the wound.

"Come on Ranger wake up! We need your help!" She said succedding in pulling the sword down into his rib cage by accident releasing even more blood.

"Just get up! I promise I'll clean up the shop for you and I won't complain about it!" Lilo said desperatly as she yanked on the sword again, blood spraying across her face. It didn't move at all though, stuck in the wood and with her weight actually forcing it in deeper.

A single tear rolled down Lilo's face and landed in the pool of blood on the floor at the base of the cross. It was soon followed by another and then another.

"Just wake up Ranger! Please! I'm sorry I let Stitch eat your Ice cream! I'm sorry I ran up the phone bill! I'm sorry I redecorated your office without permission! Just please wake up!!!" She pleaded between sobs.

"Touching," a cold cruel voice said from behind her. She looked over her shoulder to see Gollum in his armor with dozens of 4kids mooks behind him. "Unfortunatly such a scene as this is to graphic for the children of America. We'll have to force you to leave."

He waved his hand to the mooks. "Get her."

Lilo yanked up her locket and the first few mooks screamed as they were destroyed but the rest grabbed her and pulled her off of the sword, the cross, and Ranger.

"RANGER!!!" She screamed as she vanished into the mass of mooks.

Then they were gone. Ranger hung there still and silent, alone in the midst of the light.

Then his left hand twitched.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Lilo opened her eyes to find herself back in hotel room. Standing before her was Gollum in his armor smiling at her coldly.

"A nice try little lady but 4kids will not be denied victory. The portal will not be closed." Gollum gloated.

"Ranger could still kick your ass in a fair fight!" Lilo snapped a defiant look on her face.

"Ah but he's dead and who's left to face me?" Gollum replied pointing to something behind her. Lilo turned about to see a badly beaten TSS and Stitch being imbolized by a 4kids mooks. Then there was her mother being held down by a few less but she was out cold.

"What did you do to them!" Lilo demanded.

"Their being censored. In a few moments their personalities will be bland and one dimensional," Gollum said simply.

"Well Larxene and Ace could still beat the crap out of you!" Lilo snapped.

"Those two are to exhausted from fighting my minions to present a threat to me. They hardly have the strength to move down there." Gollum replied.

"Then I'll stop you!" Lilo said defiantly.

At this Gollum broke out into sinister chuckles.

"You? You're the McGuffin girl! You can't fight." Gollum said raising his hands. "Now hold still and allow yourself to be censored!"

Dozen's of 4kids mooks shoot towards Lilo and be gan circling her! She reached for her locket but to her alarm it was gone.

"Looking for this?" Gollum asked lifting up the locket before crushing it in his hand and letting the powdered remains slip onto the floor.

Lilo glanced about terrified. This was it, they'd lost.

"Get her." Gollum ordered.

The mooks shot towards Lilo with wailing cries!

"RANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Lilo screamed closing her eyes bracing for the pain!

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

The sound of the gun shots finally stopped and was followed by the sound of two spent clips being ejected. Then there was the thunk and as the empty magazine's clattered to the floor.

Then a familar, tired voice spoke.

"Damn Lilo, you don't have to shout."

Lilo's eyes snapped open and filled with delight as she saw the familar green cloaked badass.

"Ranger!" She said pracicatlly crying with joy as TSS, Stitch, and Lewoh fell to the floor as their guards fell dead from Ranger's deadly gun fire. TSS rubbed his neck smirking.

"It's about damn time," TSS growled.

Ranger turned around and smirked. Lilo's eyes however widened in alarm as she saw Ranger's sword still sticking out of his chest.

"Ranger..." She said slowly.

Ranger glanced down at his sword and frowned.

"Oh right, yeah it seems this sword is so intune with the Twilight it won't kill it's weilder if the weilder is a Twilight Warrior." Ranger said pulling the sword out after returning Sol and Luna to their holsters.

"That makes hardly any sense," Lilo snapped.

"Well it was that or risk becoming a Gary Stu by being a half Devil." Ranger replied flicking his blood off his sword.

Gollum glared at him.

"You bastard! I'm going to put you back on that cross and make sure you hold that portal open!" He snarled.

Ranger glared back resting his sword on his shoulder.

"Not going to happen," he said coldly.

He raised his sword and proclaimed! "FINAL TWILIGHT FORM!"

There was a flash of silver light and a gout of flames ignited along Ranger's sword! When the two phenomen subsided Ranger was revealed, all in silver with Ddriag s Caul looking like a massive beak like jaw with a motorcycle brake at the hilt. Two tubes emerged from the hilt in form of a rose engraving. Ranger then set the sword on his shoulder pulling up a black clothe from his shirt over his nose and mouth while throwing his hood over his head.

"Impressive," Gollum said drawing his own sword which was bedecked with strange ruins and glowed a strange purple. "But the power you weild now is no where near as great as that which 4kids has granted me."

At that moment the door was flung open as Ace and Larxene rushed in panting heavily.

"Did we miss the big final battle?" Ace asked.

"No you're right on time." TSS replied.

"SIlence!" Gollum snarled!

In flash he shot towards them sword ready! Before he could touch any of them however Ranger grabbed him by the shoulder and threw him against the far wall! Gollum righted himself however and landed with a thud on the floor. Ranger glared at him eye glowing silver blue.

Forgetting someone?" Ranger asked. "Besides, I'm not done yet."

He swung Ddraig s Caul over his shoulder where it came to a rest on his back. He slammed his fists together and bolts of slilver energy shot from his fists.

"I'm taking this one more step!" He shouted as a he was suddenly engulfed in silver blue light!

Then he emerged, changed.

His cloak was shortened and parted up to the ribs. His leather vest was jet black and lined with silver embroidery. Silver pauldrons rested on his shoulders with spines taipered into points. His clothes were sharpened and streamlined. His hood was more angular with a sharper focal point where it bent down above his eyes. To say the least everyone was staring at him.

"Holy shit," TSS said.

"That's new," Ace said.

"Where do you get something like that?" Larxene asked.

"It's called being a badass," Ranger replied.

"It doesn't matter if you've got an awesome new outfit! I'm still going to kill you!" Gollum snarled rushing Ranger with his sword! Ranger didn't even move.

Gollum's sword cut straight through Ranger's left arm before he spun aand stabbed Ranger through the gut! Then Gollum yanked his sword out and laughed as Ranger's armed struck the ground with a thud.

"SEE I TOLD YOU!!" Gollum cackled.

Then to his suprise the severed limb disolved into a strange grey mist and floated up to Ranger's stump. Then it began to reform the arm erasing the wouund left by Gollum's attack. At the same time a similar mist was rapidly filling in the stab wound Gollum had made! In less than ten seconds Ranger was as good as new.

"So that's how it is eh?" He said a smirk spreading across his face. "Well then let us begin."

Then in a flash Ranger shot forward and clashed blades with Gollum who was force back about ten feet from the force of Ranger's attack! Ranger relented his attack struck again hammering Gollum with a rain of heavy blows! Gollum defended against the attacks trying to back out of Ranger's striking distance but Ranger's sword was simply to long to get more than a foot or two away before he was forced to defend again!

Ranger then swung a blow for Gollum's head and Gollum ducked barely swinging his own blade at Ranger's legs. Ranger however bent his knees forward as he spun and Gollum's sword merely swirled his cloak. Then they both came around and with a mighty clang and spray of sparks their swords clashed again!

Just as their swords collidied however there was white flash and they suddenly found they came out in a ridiculous box canyon with TSS, Lilo, Ace, Larxene, Stitch, and Lewoh standing near a large mass of standing stones, Ranger standing a top a large bending cliff, and Gollum running clean across the canyon floor. Larxene glanced about in confusion.

"Blood Gulch? What the hell is going on here?" She demanded.

"It's the portal," Lewoh answered. "It's becoming unstable, we're running out of time!"

"Before what?" Ace asked.

"If the portal becomes to unstable then it will destroy the enitre world with the sheer release of energy!" Lewoh replied.

"Well, that's not good," Ace muttered.

Suddenly Gollum turned about raising a fist. A purple cloud burst into existence above the cliff where Ranger stood. Out of the cloud shot dozens, if not hundreds of 4kids mooks all streaming towards Ranger! Ranger however swung his sword furiously slashing and hacking away at the mooks with blinding speed before he actually began spinning like a top slicing apart the minions of 4kids. Gollum then thrust his sword towards Ranger and a blast of purple flames burst from his sword and shot towards Ranger.

Ranger finished of the last of the mooks and saw the fire ball coming! He swung Ddraig s Caul onto his back and slammed his arms together in the shape of a cross!

"Twilight Reflection!" He shouted!

A slivery barrier burst from his arms just as the fireball made contact! The blast forced Ranger back as more 4kids mooks rushed him. Then he released the technique and swung out his sword releasing a massive purple tounge of flames right into the incoming mooks! The mooks howled in agony as they were obliterated by the flames and swung his sword back into place before falling to one knee panting heavily.

Then he began to laugh as TSS, Larxene, Ace, Stitch, Lilo, and Lewoh ran up to him.

"Are you alright?" TSS asked.

"Ranger you have to let us help you, you can't defeat him alone," Lilo said.

"Just shut up for a moment, this is my fight! Mine!" Ranger snapped pushing himself to his feet. "All of this chaos, if it wasn't for my foolishness in the past so much pain could have been avoided. I have to make things right!"

"You're wrong!" TSS snapped. "No fight can be won alone. If you only think of yourself then you're nothing but a damned fool."

Ranger paused standing at the edge of the cliff staring out towards blue base where Gollum had fled. Then he sighed.

"Alright then, if you guys can hold him down for a few seconds I should be able to finish this with a single blow." He relented.

Larxene raised an eyebrow. "I have an idea, if you can keep him busy for a few minutes you'll get your chance."

Ranger threw a smirk over his shoulder. "Oh don't you worry about that, girly. It'll be a peice of cake."

Then in a flash he was gone.

"Did he just call you girly?" Ace deadpanned.

"Yeah whatever," Larxene growled before turning to face Lewoh and Lilo.

"Hey McGuffin girls, you said that the energies from the portal were causing this change of location? Can you alter those energies in anyway?" Larxene asked.

"What do you mean?" Lewoh asked.

"Well, we need to go somewhere speacil." Larxene replied.

TSS threw a glance at Larxene, an eye brow raised.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Ranger reappeared on the right side of Blue bases roof atop on of the many barriers. Standing right across from him was Gollum leering at him.

"Let me tell you something Ranger," he said in as insulting a tone as he could muster. "The sword you're weilding is a key, using it you could not only seal the portal but also return everyone who's been censored to themselves."

Ranger frowned. "Why should I believe you?" He demanded.

"I never lie," Gollum replied. "I'm simply telling you because there is no way you can possibly defeat me and I would so enjoy watching you suffer your enternal torment, knowing that you failed everyone again."

There was a silence with the two merely glaring at one another for a few moments before Ranger spoke.

"So tell me Gollum? What is your goal in life?" Ranger asked.

Gollum gave a derisive snort. "Master only wished to see the preacious destroyed. Let's just say his lack of ambition was his weakness. This battle is merely a peice in the puzzel."

Ranger smirked. "Oh I see," he said sarcasm clear in his voice. "Now how about I let you in on a little secret of my own, Gollum. This peice won't fit."

"Hmm?"

Ranger pulled Ddraig s Caul from his back and stabbed it into the barrier and kneeling down before it on one knee. He lowered his head and closed his eyes.

"What stands between the shadow and the light? What watches from the thin mist? Rises with the dawn, sings at dusk. The Twilight is where they walk, between the shadow and the light. Deeds unspoken but never forgotten. These are the Twilight! Of wisdom in mind and fury in heart! Remember them when in hope you doubt." Ranger recited a sense of awe gathering around him.

Then he opened his eyes and rose to his feet swinging Ddraig s Caul back into place Gollum glared at him.

"So the legends of the order of Twilight are true, no matter how few are left as long as one lives the world remains intact." Gollum growled.

Ranger nodded.

"Yeah. And if you think that's cool," he said a smirk crossing his face. "Then watch this."

In a flash Ranger vanished and before Gollum could do anything Ranger came up from below him and head butted him! Gollum went flying into the air with Ranger delivering a right hook to Gollum's face! A tooth went flying from Gollum's mouth as Ranger delivered a brutal left as they landed above the canyon!

The was another flash of light and they suddenly found themselves in a large comples of ruins. Gollum brought up his sword and Ranger drew out Ddriag s Caul! Their blades rang furiously as the clashed again and again brutally hacking at one another! Then a third flash happened and they found themselves in midair over the city as chaos reigned in the streets below as people tried to flee from being censored by the dozens of 4kids mooks!

Ranger kicked himself off of Gollum and the two laned on opposite roof tops! Gollum raised a fist and a massive white tiger burst to life above him snarling! Ranger raised Ddraig s Caul and reeved it in mid air releasing a torrent of flames! Out of the flames emerged a massive emerald green asian style dragon with small wings that looked barely able to lift its thin serpentine body. Then Ranger and Gollum shot towards one another, their summoned beasts colliding in midair mere seconds before the two clashed swords again!

Then there was another flash and they were in a bog slashing at one another! Then another flash and they were at the lip of an active volcano! Again and again they changed location heedless of any Dangers as they battled it out! At one point Gollum briefly got behind Ranger and tried to get a death blow off! Ranger however stabbed himself through the chest just barely in time to block Gollum's blow before yanking his sword out of himself!

"Nice one!" Gollum snarled clearly frustrated as they resumed their furious duel! Finally they came out a top a strange pale blue spike covered castle. The castle was sent on a precarious ledge that looked more likely to completely fall off of the edge rather than stay in place.

Below them Lilo and Lewoh stood side by side holding their hands in a Tiger hand seal.

"Nice work you two!" Larxene said pulling out her knives. "Now hold us here."

She, TSS, and Ace rushed towards the castle entrance as Larxene leapt on top of the gate. "You to cover me, I've got a feeling we've got trouble coming."

TSS and Ace glanced at one another, Ace pulling up her Rocket launcher and TSS reloading his MP5. They came to a halt at the edge of the cliff to see dozens of monsters streaking towards them screaming for blood.

"I hope you're counting Alucard," TSS muttered.

"Am I the only one who thinks we're pushing this to be one big refrence?" Ace asked before opening fire.

Meanwhile Larxene raised her knives into the air and closed her eyes.

"Square Enix, I ask you. CUT ME SOME SLACK!!!" She shouted as lightning came crackling down onto her knives.

Ranger glanced down at Larxene only to be punched right in the face by Gollum!

Larxene lowered her knives which were now glowing red hot with sheer power, shaking slightly. "I did it." She muttered.

"Stupid Twilight! You can't kill Precious!" Gollum screeched spittle flying from his mouth as Ranger crashed against the side of the castle. Before Ranger could stand up Gollum raised a hand and dozens of thorny spikes shot up impailing Ranger!

"NOW RANGER!" Larxene shouted.

Ranger smirked and broke off the thorns holding him in place! Then in a flash was behind Gollum, an orb of Twilight energy roughly the size of a truck tire in his hands.

"I believe it's time, TO RECONSIDER THAT STATEMENT!!" Ranger shouted before blasting Gollum clean through the castle where he went flying straight towards the edge of the cliff! Before Gollum could do anything Larxene leapt into the air and with a gracefull spin threw her knives at Gollum! From between the knives burst and electric net that went flying into Gollum trapping him Ranger as jumped after him!

"Stitch start the music!" Lilo shouted!

Stitch pulled a Ipod speaker and hit play cranking up the volume to maximum!

_Fall, can I break away?!_

_Push me away, make me fall, _

_just to see another side of me. _

_Push me away you can't see what I see, the other side of me. _

Gollum desperatly threw his sword at Ranger who threw Ddriag s Caul at the sword! The Twilight blade meet it's foe tip to tip and shattered the weapon! Ranger suddenly shot down to Gollum kicking him in the face before grabbing his sword as there was another flash of light and they were back at the top of the hotel!

_No one can see anything on the other side of me! I walk, I crawl, losing everything and waiting for the downfall! _

Below Ace and TSS finished off the last of the mooksand looked up as Ranger came down on a helpless Gollum frozen in place by Larxene's attack!

_No one can see everything on the other side of me! _

"Lok'tar!" TSS shouted!

Ace rasied an eyebrow. "Okay what the hell are we refrencing?"

_I walk, I crawl losing everything on the downfall!_

Then Ranger came down on Gollum who just managed to raise a hand to try and stop him. Ddraig s Caul slammed against Gollums clentch hand and their was a blast of silver light against purple light!

_Fall!_

Then a massive explosion engulfed the roof of the hotel and a cloud of dust was kicked up.

From within the mist Gollum's old whooping cough finally emerged. When the dust cleared Gollum was back in his old form and Ranger stood a top a pile of rubblle no longer in mastery form with his sword resting on his shoulder.

"Wait something isn't right here precious," Gollum said before releasing another whooping cough. "4kids gave us limitless power? How could you defeat us?"

"It's simple," Ranger replied. "I knew that the actual final fight sequence in the Devil May Cry anime, although badass, didn't pack enough punch to defeat 4kids. So I utelized the final fight from the greatest Machinma ever made, Martin Flach's Tales of the Past 3."

"You actually took the time to watch that?" Gollum said incredulous.

"Yep," Ranger replied.

"Well then seeing as who you changed the fight scene and beat the crap out of me you'll probably let me go right?" Gollum asked as the sun began to rise over the city.

"Oh hell no," Ranger answered pulling out Luna. "You honestly think I'm that stupid?"

Gollum's eyes widened with anger.

"But honestly I pity you as a character. You got your ass kicked by Merkat boy." Ranger continued.

"YOU BASTARD!!!" Gollum screamed rushing towards Ranger fangs barred!

The sun rose up over the side of the building just as Gollum was about to reach Ranger.

Ranger smiled.

"Jackpot."

BANG!!

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

About ten minutes later came strolling out of the hotel only to have Lilo nearly run him over in a glomp!

"Hey ease of kid I'm a wounded man!" Ranger said trying to get her off him.

"What are you talking about? There's not a scratch on you?" Lilo demanded.

"Let's just say that twilight stops to wound but doesn't queit get rid of all of the pain." Ranger replied.

She let go of him and he smiled.

"Thanks for the help up there but next time don't force the sword into my rib cage." He said.

Lilo rubbed the back of her head.

"Yeah... Right."

"Oh by the way you're going to be living with your mom from now on ya here?" Ranger said walking away from her.

"Well thats a nice way to say good bye," Ace dead panned.

"TSS get me the hell out of here," Ranger said walking towards TSS warthog.

"Whatever you say man," TSS said turning to follow Ranger.

**FMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMCFMC**

Almost a month later at Fanfiction May Cry Ranger was as usaul sitting at his desk. And the place was a total pigsty. TSS leaned against the door frowning.

"So this is the end of the story?" He asked.

Ranger nodded. "Yep which means only one thing left to do and that prepare for Fanfiction May Cry 4."

"Wouldn't it be more linear if you started with number 3's manga?" TSS asked.

"Yes but unfortunatly I'd have to do casting for that which could take a while but I have the cast sorted out for 4 already." Ranger replied.

"I see, well let's get started then. To the production set!" TSS said opening the door.

Ranger stood up and grabbed Sol and Luna before swinging his guitar case over his shoulder. Then he strood out of the shop and climbed into TSS waiting Warthog.

A few minutes later they were out on the roads just on the city limits. Ranger was trying to take a nap in the side when someone wrapped hard on the side of hog. He opened one eye to see Ace riding along right beside them on her motorcycle.

"Hey if this about money..." He started.

"No We're in Fanfiction May Cry 4 to you dumbass," Larxene snapped pulling up alongside them on her own motorcycle.

"You think we're going to be missing out on this?" Ace asked.

Ranger smirked. "Well then if everyone wants this fic to start as soon as possible then let's hurry up. TSS, floor it!"

"My pleasure," TSS replied increasing the pressure on the gas. The hog shot forward with the two bikes roaring along on either side of it.

Meanwhile back at Fanfiction May Cry Lilo gave an idignant sigh.

"Could he at least try to keep this place clean?" She muttered pulling up a mop as Stitch grabbed a broom. Lilo quickly opened the door and stuck a 'Now cleaning' sign on the handle. Then she turned with Stitch to face the massive mess pulling up a pair of spray bottles and twirling them like a pair of pistols.

"Come on Stitch, let's rock!!" Lilo shouted before she and Stitch epic poosed with their cleaning equipment.

"Meega get the last line!" Stitch proclaimed.

_**THE END.**_

* * *

**Ranger24: My god this has got to be the longest chapter I have ever written. Anyways folks I'd like to thank everyone who stuck with me through this convoluted mess I called a Fanfic. I'd also like to thank my girl Ace 7 for being willing to play Lady (love ya!). I would also like to thank SonofSparda13 for creating the abridged version of this series which I used several jokes from. Also I'd like to thank TSS for not complaining about playing the role of Morrison without me asking him first. Then there's Alter Shead who has agreed to play the part of Nero in the up coming sequel Fanfiction May Cry 4. Keep your eyes out for a tailer for that some time soon. **

**Other wise folks I once more say thank you for sticking with me through this. See you in Fanfiction May Cry 4! THANK YOU FANFICTION! WE LOVE YOU! GOOD NIGHT!!!! **


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